namelesshero

I'm listening to They Might Be Giants right now. For some reason their music really depresses me. I think it's partly because it's so innocent. I guess that shouldn't depress me, but it does. Even though simple innocence by itself is an amazing thing, it's the fact that I know it will somehow be crushed by society that brings me down. I'm not talking about innocence in the "ignorance" kind of way. I'm talking about chastity and integrity. For some reason, I prefer honesty and integrity to always be fighting and struggling against the crap in the world. When it stands alone, I either think it will easily be corrupted or is disingenuous to begin with. Oh well, I'm talking out of my ass right now. Maybe it's just because they have some pretty damn depressing songs. Or it's just one of those nights.

I had a horrible allergic reaction to something last night. I couldn't stop sneezing and coughing and my nose got all stuffed up at first. Then my chest started getting really tight and I was having trouble breathing. Then, as if that wasn't enough, my eyes all but completely swelled shut. The whole time I was just hoping that I wouldn't have to go to the hospital. Luckily, it kind of calmed down after a couple of hours. The weird thing is that this has happened to me a bunch of times. I usually get it at least a couple of times a year. It's not like I have really bad allergies or anything. I get the usual hay fever and all, but that's just sneezing and a stuffy nose. Whatever the hell it is that does this to me really kicks my ass. I damn near asphyxiated last night. It's pretty scary, but in retrospect I always kind of enjoy it. The occasional renewal of an awareness of death makes life more enjoyable.

Monet, if you actually read this, thanks again for the comment.