Alright, FINALLY a night random enough to mandate a journal entry.
I'm on my way home from the gym to sit down for a nice dinner with the family when my buddy Brian (recall the drunken rambling journal entry on what makes a good friend) calls me up telling me that he's on his way over. Apparently, we're going to Hooters to eat wings and play trivia.
Now wings, while delicious are well off my new weight training diet, and where there are wings, there's beer. So needless to say, I tried my best to keep things healthy. I failed like the Hindenburg.
So we're playing trivia, enjoying boobies, and watching the Yanks game, and with everything going on, we do terribly. I'm also drinking a pitcher by myself, cause let's face it, if anyone can be in love with an object, so am I in love with beer.
Here were some of the trivia questions, and without looking them up, see how you do, cause I'm sorry but this shit was kinda hard...
1. What ship was sunk in Pearl Harbor and is visited by more than 2 million people each year?
2. What government agency is abreviated BIA?
3. What order, from oldest to newest, do these films go in: Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, Dick Tracy?
We got a 22 out of 75. It wasn't a total loss, it was, after all, cheap beer and great cleavage as far as the eye good see.
So, without stomachs full of chicken and brew, and a taste for skin, we opted to take our last 20 bucks a piece down to the closest strip club. The Gentlemen's Club, right down the road, is a total dive, but has VERY cute girls surprisingly. Off we went, and a 14 dollar cover later, found ourselves very carefully protecting our singles from any wayward working girls.
We sat huddled and joking nervously (often the situation in my case) and all of a sudden, one of the girls, a bigger woman whom I didn't want to dance for me, reaches into my crotch and grabs my belt. She was BEAUTIFUL but badly in need of a gym, by stripper standards anyways. She rips my belt off, which hurt quite a bit, then slaps the bar and makes us all jump.
Next thing I know, this dominatrix, Opal (really Rebecca), has me kiss her boot and spanks me, my friend Brian, and his friend Ryan with my belt as we wince terrified to run away.
Needless to say, I was scared for my life, and she started flirting with me. She told me all about her extreme sexploits, and how she lit her breasts on fire with 151 and a match once, and I attempting everything possible to get her to leave.
"Yeah, I love being a dominatrix."
"Oh. Well, I'm the farthest thing from a saddist. I like puppies, kittens, long walks on the beach."
"I like kittens."
"What, like to eat them?"
You get the picture.
But before the night was over, she was so intelligent, and so pressing on me to come have a drink with her, that we went next door, she bought ME 2 carbombs, given my poverty struck state, and was ALL OVER ME. I had everything I could do to keep her at bay. And random enough as this night was, we talked for nearly 2 hours about DeNiro movies.
Now, you want to talk movies, I'm your guy, I can take any actor/director and have years of conversation. So she hit a nerve, we hit it off, and the next thing you know, I've missed all the other strippers in favor of good conversation with the least attractive one. I guess it goes to show that looks aren't everything huh?
The evening drew to an end, we were all tired, and while she tried to slip me her number and ask me to come back on Friday, I had to politely decline. It was what it was, a "moment in the woods", much like my experiences at the Roxy, and while I had kind of wished there were more knockout movie buffs at the club that night, for 20 bucks and 2 free drinks, I certainly didn't mind the company.
In other news, my friend Brian's phone (complete with a picture pop-up for each person that calls) now features Opal licking my face, as she draws me up to her, my head in a belt-noose.
Gotta love random nights in CT...
I'm on my way home from the gym to sit down for a nice dinner with the family when my buddy Brian (recall the drunken rambling journal entry on what makes a good friend) calls me up telling me that he's on his way over. Apparently, we're going to Hooters to eat wings and play trivia.
Now wings, while delicious are well off my new weight training diet, and where there are wings, there's beer. So needless to say, I tried my best to keep things healthy. I failed like the Hindenburg.
So we're playing trivia, enjoying boobies, and watching the Yanks game, and with everything going on, we do terribly. I'm also drinking a pitcher by myself, cause let's face it, if anyone can be in love with an object, so am I in love with beer.
Here were some of the trivia questions, and without looking them up, see how you do, cause I'm sorry but this shit was kinda hard...
1. What ship was sunk in Pearl Harbor and is visited by more than 2 million people each year?
2. What government agency is abreviated BIA?
3. What order, from oldest to newest, do these films go in: Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, Dick Tracy?
We got a 22 out of 75. It wasn't a total loss, it was, after all, cheap beer and great cleavage as far as the eye good see.
So, without stomachs full of chicken and brew, and a taste for skin, we opted to take our last 20 bucks a piece down to the closest strip club. The Gentlemen's Club, right down the road, is a total dive, but has VERY cute girls surprisingly. Off we went, and a 14 dollar cover later, found ourselves very carefully protecting our singles from any wayward working girls.
We sat huddled and joking nervously (often the situation in my case) and all of a sudden, one of the girls, a bigger woman whom I didn't want to dance for me, reaches into my crotch and grabs my belt. She was BEAUTIFUL but badly in need of a gym, by stripper standards anyways. She rips my belt off, which hurt quite a bit, then slaps the bar and makes us all jump.
Next thing I know, this dominatrix, Opal (really Rebecca), has me kiss her boot and spanks me, my friend Brian, and his friend Ryan with my belt as we wince terrified to run away.
Needless to say, I was scared for my life, and she started flirting with me. She told me all about her extreme sexploits, and how she lit her breasts on fire with 151 and a match once, and I attempting everything possible to get her to leave.
"Yeah, I love being a dominatrix."
"Oh. Well, I'm the farthest thing from a saddist. I like puppies, kittens, long walks on the beach."
"I like kittens."
"What, like to eat them?"
You get the picture.
But before the night was over, she was so intelligent, and so pressing on me to come have a drink with her, that we went next door, she bought ME 2 carbombs, given my poverty struck state, and was ALL OVER ME. I had everything I could do to keep her at bay. And random enough as this night was, we talked for nearly 2 hours about DeNiro movies.
Now, you want to talk movies, I'm your guy, I can take any actor/director and have years of conversation. So she hit a nerve, we hit it off, and the next thing you know, I've missed all the other strippers in favor of good conversation with the least attractive one. I guess it goes to show that looks aren't everything huh?
The evening drew to an end, we were all tired, and while she tried to slip me her number and ask me to come back on Friday, I had to politely decline. It was what it was, a "moment in the woods", much like my experiences at the Roxy, and while I had kind of wished there were more knockout movie buffs at the club that night, for 20 bucks and 2 free drinks, I certainly didn't mind the company.
In other news, my friend Brian's phone (complete with a picture pop-up for each person that calls) now features Opal licking my face, as she draws me up to her, my head in a belt-noose.
Gotta love random nights in CT...
- the nick york times