Dear Portland, God, or the filthy rich,
I could really use a swank house with a pool or hot tub. A fresh lawn of spongee Kentucky bluegrass and a Slip N' Slide or Wet Banana will also suffice, but only if I am being served chilled vodka soaked watermelon by the SeaMonkeys*.
Is a personal sushi chef too much to ask for? I didn't think so either. So where the fuck is my friggin nigiri?
DON'T FORGET THE AC BITCH! The only time it should be 90 when I'm sleeping is when I stumble out of the hot tub and ass out on the lawn.
p.s. I need this shirt, don't ask why.
*my personal assistants/ harem.
I could really use a swank house with a pool or hot tub. A fresh lawn of spongee Kentucky bluegrass and a Slip N' Slide or Wet Banana will also suffice, but only if I am being served chilled vodka soaked watermelon by the SeaMonkeys*.
Is a personal sushi chef too much to ask for? I didn't think so either. So where the fuck is my friggin nigiri?
DON'T FORGET THE AC BITCH! The only time it should be 90 when I'm sleeping is when I stumble out of the hot tub and ass out on the lawn.
p.s. I need this shirt, don't ask why.
*my personal assistants/ harem.
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I knew it was time to get out of customer service when "I don't know" became my most intelligent and acceptable response to a question.