nadya

One year older doesn't mean one year wiser even at my dads age.

It's funny how the most amazing man you know can still disappoint you constantly.

Here's a man that has built his life from nothing.. with no help from anyone.
He has held strong and has provided.
He has proven everyone wrong.
He has been hurt, betrayed, disowned, and taken advantage of
still he has never failed to be the better man.
Generous. Selfless. Determined. Compassionate.
My hope and faith in all that this world is exists because of him.

He's my hero.
And if i grow old and am still alone it is only because i failed to find a man even half of what my father is.
I refuse to settle for less.

But his health is fading.
And he does childish things that worry his wife and indirectly hurt his children.
And suddenly his words, "my family is my life" doesn't mean anything anymore.
He thinks we just like to nag him.
No, we just care.
We may be all grown up but not just little girls need their daddy.

My eyes swell with tears at the thought of losing this man. My eyes swell with tears as i watch him slowly deteriorate.

But it's his birthday, so i swallow hard. Smile, and hope that the worry that lies deep within his youngest daughters eyes will someday mean enough to him to be healthier.

______

Father...

With a humble heart I come before you
Asking why and how

How, in the face of such perpetual struggle
Have you overcome such obstacles?

With such strength of heart the likes of which Ive never seen

Why then do you never complain?
But only give

With such benevolence and compassion
I do not claim to deserve

How then am I ever to repay your adoration?

And why, to that question, will I never receive an answer

But to thine own self be true

And with these questions I offer you this:

My esteem

My never-ending admiration

My absolute love