An old friend called me today. i haven't heard from him in so long.
He use to make me french toast at 1 o'clock in the morning. just because i said it sounded good.
he's that sort of friend.
We'd always go to Guitar center.
he'd set up the biggest keyboard.
i'd stretched and do jumping jacks.
then he'd turn on one of those preprogrammed tracks and just hit one key over and over.
i'd dance.
once a guy clapped really slow and loud and said "That's fucking awesome"
he had a ripped over sized tank shirt in neon pink with a geko on it giving the thumbs up.
and acid washed jean shorts.
...THAT was fucking awesome.
I forgot how much i missed Mikes friendship.
i used to stay over at his house with him.
Because he felt uncomfortable around his mother's new lover.
he'd always scoot real close until i was on the edge of the bed.
instead of waking him, i'd take my pillow to the other side of the mattress.
he'd turn over, steal my pillow, and sprawl out... all while still sound asleep.
in the morning he'd ask "why do you always sleep on the floor?"
He use to watched me sleep and bandaged my little scrapes. he'd kissed my hair and made me want to be a good wife some day.
and I have never felt so tall as when he lifts me off the ground to hug me to death.
He still has the best compliments.. like "people should have to pay to touch you."
i miss him.
not becuase he gives me nice compliments.
but because we both speak the same language.
he's random.
i'm random.
our conversations go from merry go rounds and midgets in drag, to freewill and spinoza, to hotels with little circular burns in the sheets from someone's late night cancer habit.
He worries me so much though...
This is for him:
dear dear friend,
this i write in hopes you will forever mend
and with every step you may take
i pray you never break
because i have seen the way your spine has been fixed
with surgical steel
from sleeping at the wheel
i have seen the scars that trace your neck
and permanently leave their mark on your pale skin
this is for the time you quietly cried next to me
while we watched your favorite movie
for the time i was selfish and left your side
with your eyes closed wide
for every second we spent in seedy diners
talking nonsense
and it making the most sense
for every time you made me feel safe
for the notes i keep
and their scent reminds me of you
for the way that i miss you
for all of this
please please be good to yourself.
please please take care
Please leave your lovely arms and veins alone.
So they can play the piano when you come home
He use to make me french toast at 1 o'clock in the morning. just because i said it sounded good.
he's that sort of friend.
We'd always go to Guitar center.
he'd set up the biggest keyboard.
i'd stretched and do jumping jacks.
then he'd turn on one of those preprogrammed tracks and just hit one key over and over.
i'd dance.
once a guy clapped really slow and loud and said "That's fucking awesome"
he had a ripped over sized tank shirt in neon pink with a geko on it giving the thumbs up.
and acid washed jean shorts.
...THAT was fucking awesome.
I forgot how much i missed Mikes friendship.
i used to stay over at his house with him.
Because he felt uncomfortable around his mother's new lover.
he'd always scoot real close until i was on the edge of the bed.
instead of waking him, i'd take my pillow to the other side of the mattress.
he'd turn over, steal my pillow, and sprawl out... all while still sound asleep.
in the morning he'd ask "why do you always sleep on the floor?"
He use to watched me sleep and bandaged my little scrapes. he'd kissed my hair and made me want to be a good wife some day.
and I have never felt so tall as when he lifts me off the ground to hug me to death.
He still has the best compliments.. like "people should have to pay to touch you."
i miss him.
not becuase he gives me nice compliments.
but because we both speak the same language.
he's random.
i'm random.
our conversations go from merry go rounds and midgets in drag, to freewill and spinoza, to hotels with little circular burns in the sheets from someone's late night cancer habit.
He worries me so much though...
This is for him:
dear dear friend,
this i write in hopes you will forever mend
and with every step you may take
i pray you never break
because i have seen the way your spine has been fixed
with surgical steel
from sleeping at the wheel
i have seen the scars that trace your neck
and permanently leave their mark on your pale skin
this is for the time you quietly cried next to me
while we watched your favorite movie
for the time i was selfish and left your side
with your eyes closed wide
for every second we spent in seedy diners
talking nonsense
and it making the most sense
for every time you made me feel safe
for the notes i keep
and their scent reminds me of you
for the way that i miss you
for all of this
please please be good to yourself.
please please take care
Please leave your lovely arms and veins alone.
So they can play the piano when you come home
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
I hate to do this to a friend. Listen, there's been some kind of mistake. There is no way you're going to train here. Another fucking poet? No fucking way. Do you think you're special - like the drones above me apparently do? Give me a break. "The Wonder Years?" I'm wondering what you think you're doing on my Porch.
and no one, NO ONE who uses the word "whilst" is gettin' in here.
Get The Fuck Off My Porch!
*laugh*
ill try very very hard not to get mad but it just pisses me off. i have tried to make up for my past fuck-ups for 2 years and it seems like its all for nothing cus he keeps finding ways to throw all my shit back in my face. i just dont know what else to do. i know that i will not let anything happen, despite what he thinks, im not that weak, my only weakness is him. he's the only person who has ever gotten me to do anything they wanted. i can reassure him all i want i can cry and stay home every night and im not sure it would do any good.
i have trust issues too but i doubt that he would ever cheat on me. i doubt it. i may have my occasional molments of doubt but underneath it all i know.
ok im done babbling. i told you you make me think.