nadya

This is me happy...



Something i haven't been quite as much as i'd like lately. And everytime i get close... something always ruins it. The response i was hoping for never came. Instead it was replace with harsh blunt reality. I feel used. ahh, Fuck it.

...

I'm a little pool of threads and red. And I hope you find some way to sew me up and stitch me around your arms and rib cage. I hope you can make me warm and useful.

Because right now I don't have a shape or a will.

I'll just lie here until you come with nimble fingers and a genuine heart.

And all the things you'll say will put little needles through all the fibers of girl that I'm made of.

I know. I know. I'm not 100 percent cotton.

I know. I know. I'm not silk either.

I'm just thrift store material. Scrap fabric at the 99 cent store.

I'm all the things blue collar workers use to wipe their mouths.

I'm the rag you used to buff the scratches out.

I'm some blanket you forced your child to throw out to better themselves.

Worn and loved and all those ugly colours I'm made of.

I'm the most comfortable thing you'll know.



Edited: haha.. ok maybe i made this entry a little too emo-ish. it's not like a have tit cancer or anything. Yes, i can still laugh. And yeah i'm still basically a happy person. Just in the boy department things have been blowing. And it's discouraging. The guy i hung out with the other night said something to me that made me feel completely gross and regretted what had happened. And that's shitty. Hence this whole shitty entry. I'll be over it in the morning.. no worries.