nadir

i am now on the prowl for new employment come july...

i can not stick it out in a systemt hat is built to fail.
my principal and i got in an arguement last year about how the students are expected to fail. i said they were not, can not if we teach them right.
it boiled down to a shouting match.

i now know what he ment.
he retired. i have a new principal, she is not helping anyone but herself. she blames everyone but her for low performance etc...
and i have had it.
i feel that i do not even care about kids anymore
and that pisses me off.
but at the same time if i did not have my class -- who i really enjoy, or at least 20 of them (i have 37 kids) -- i would start looking imediately.

but these kids do not need to think yet another face is leaving tem.
no.
i am staying for stablity
soon my name will be ex-teacher.

i wish i had studies for the lsat or gre this summer.
i would be law school bound come next year....

so now i think i will try to do investigative work for the public defenders office.
try and get people off for drug offenses and the like

then in 2004 i will start law school
then in 2007 i will start to suck ronald mcdonald cock

shit, i used to be positive, i used to think change would come, but the chage that keeps happening sucks...

i think i am completely at terms with phil ochs killing himself.

sometimes it is the only thing that makes sense.

maybe once i get some distance from teaching i will start to be hopeful again... but i think it will take some serious time...