Post of the day: The intro to my comic. It's a shame i can't draw and I keep losing artists......
A View of the Apocalypse and a Damn Good Cup of Coffee
Scene: A man in a black trench coat stands on the ledge of a very high building. Media and police swarm below and helicopters circle the building. The man is talking to someone on a cell phone.)
.If you will forgive me I am going to have a brief interlude into philosophy here. The concept of reincarnation is a well-known and fairly popular theological practice, however they have got it ALL wrong. Reincarnation does not follow linear time and those that control the administration of life dont care for the inventions of man. You are given a situation and until you do it until you get it right, the same thing over and over again. Usually, this process is seamless. When you die, you are instantly put back at the point you went wrong. Unfortunately, in any operation that big there is always at least one glitch.
I am that glitch. I am not the only one, but we will get into that later. As far as I can tell, the glitch manifests itself two ways.
First, you remember your death. You can not possibly imagine how unnerving this is. I have lost count of the number of times I have died at this point and I am fairly certain there are a few that were so terrible I have blocked them out. Next time you wake up from a dream where you almost died, remember this, because maybe you did.
Second, there is a temporal displacement. You dont quite go back to the moment that you screwed up. You are liable to wake up later or even in a few notable cases earlier than you are supposed to. Generally it is not bad enough that you have any trouble adjusting to your surroundings and if you are clever, can function fine with a few simple lies and half-truths, but sometimes They really stick it to ya.
Yes, I said They. I am not paranoid; I have met the beings allegedly in charge. For familiaritys sake I am going to refer to them as God and Satan. These are the two powers that represent what is generally considered good and evil. Although these same two figures represent every major religion in the world, some of the minor ones are denied by both. Neither of them claims Wicca, apparently it was thought up by a hippie that was caught in a major temporal glitch.
I know, I know so you think I should ask them to fix the glitch. Let me explain something to you about these supreme beings. The best analogy I can think of is to compare them to technical support. They want to think they are very smart, but they are merely guessing at how it works. Someone else wrote the software.
Oh yes, I forgot to mention one other player in this comedy of errors. I dont actually know what this one represents, but every time I see him something bad happens. I am going to refer to him as Loki. The trickster. Loki always appears as an old man. Even before the glitches started and I was still living my original life, he was always there when something terrible happened to me.
So having been told all of this, I suppose you want to know why I am about to throw myself off this building. After all, I am just going to have to start again, right? Probably so, but I want to talk to someone. NOW!
While I build up the nerve to do this, I am going to tell you how my life was leading up to the first glitch.What?No, Im not afraid to die, but this is going to hurtNow shut up and listen..
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A View of the Apocalypse and a Damn Good Cup of Coffee
Scene: A man in a black trench coat stands on the ledge of a very high building. Media and police swarm below and helicopters circle the building. The man is talking to someone on a cell phone.)
.If you will forgive me I am going to have a brief interlude into philosophy here. The concept of reincarnation is a well-known and fairly popular theological practice, however they have got it ALL wrong. Reincarnation does not follow linear time and those that control the administration of life dont care for the inventions of man. You are given a situation and until you do it until you get it right, the same thing over and over again. Usually, this process is seamless. When you die, you are instantly put back at the point you went wrong. Unfortunately, in any operation that big there is always at least one glitch.
I am that glitch. I am not the only one, but we will get into that later. As far as I can tell, the glitch manifests itself two ways.
First, you remember your death. You can not possibly imagine how unnerving this is. I have lost count of the number of times I have died at this point and I am fairly certain there are a few that were so terrible I have blocked them out. Next time you wake up from a dream where you almost died, remember this, because maybe you did.
Second, there is a temporal displacement. You dont quite go back to the moment that you screwed up. You are liable to wake up later or even in a few notable cases earlier than you are supposed to. Generally it is not bad enough that you have any trouble adjusting to your surroundings and if you are clever, can function fine with a few simple lies and half-truths, but sometimes They really stick it to ya.
Yes, I said They. I am not paranoid; I have met the beings allegedly in charge. For familiaritys sake I am going to refer to them as God and Satan. These are the two powers that represent what is generally considered good and evil. Although these same two figures represent every major religion in the world, some of the minor ones are denied by both. Neither of them claims Wicca, apparently it was thought up by a hippie that was caught in a major temporal glitch.
I know, I know so you think I should ask them to fix the glitch. Let me explain something to you about these supreme beings. The best analogy I can think of is to compare them to technical support. They want to think they are very smart, but they are merely guessing at how it works. Someone else wrote the software.
Oh yes, I forgot to mention one other player in this comedy of errors. I dont actually know what this one represents, but every time I see him something bad happens. I am going to refer to him as Loki. The trickster. Loki always appears as an old man. Even before the glitches started and I was still living my original life, he was always there when something terrible happened to me.
So having been told all of this, I suppose you want to know why I am about to throw myself off this building. After all, I am just going to have to start again, right? Probably so, but I want to talk to someone. NOW!
While I build up the nerve to do this, I am going to tell you how my life was leading up to the first glitch.What?No, Im not afraid to die, but this is going to hurtNow shut up and listen..
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
hurry up and get home so you can make out with me.
I made you tuna salad.