Long time, no chat! I’ve been noticeably absent. I can’t say I’m going to be more engaged lately, truth be told it’s hard to find the joy. I can tell you that I’ve missed you all. I’ve missed the interactions, the conversation and the witty word banter. I hope this note finds you all well and healthy, enjoying the summer weather!!
Like so many of us, I struggle with my mental health. I’ve been on a journey of self growth, walking in the weeds and the muck, trying to unlearn survival behaviors that no longer serve me. Learning new behaviors that do serve me well. I was not prepared for how hard it is to unwind the way you were programmed to make room for updated software. I was not ready for how hard it would be for me access those same skills, albeit learned through coping pathways. Example: I still need my customer service skills for work even if I don’t want to be a people pleaser anymore, and in trying to unlearn people pleasing I’ve lost some of my customer service skills, or that’s how it feels.
I’ve recently acquired some diagnosis that feel incredibly enlightening and equally crippling and overwhelming. It feels so hard to grant myself the patience and grace to grow. Most days I feel like I’m failing. (Yes I know that is not a truth, just the chatter of a negative internal dialog) 🥰
If you are struggling, grant yourself the grace you’d so willingly grant me in the same scenario. I see you struggling. I’m here too.
Thanks for always being here, for listening, for the support and the kind words.
