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myopically

Baltimore- charm fucking shitty.

Member Since 2007

Followers 10 Following 16

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Sunday Jun 17, 2007

Jun 17, 2007
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i love this shit man. i'm in a fucking weird mood today. my goal is to alienate as many people as possible. you should really check out my profile i just redid. wow. what was i going for there? i really don't give too much of a shit to be honest. i figure i'm perverse and i want you to know it so if you don't like it you can go away. yeah, i know.

as i have mentioned in anothe blog, every sunday morning i attend a 12 step beach meeting. today, i got to pick the topic. how ironic. this morniong when i awoke, i thought of the meeting and knew what topic i didn't want to discuss. well, when i was asked what topic, i blurted out relationships. oooh god, what the hell was i thinking? for some reason, i've been picking all the challenging things these days. i kinda groove on that. never been like that. the group reaction wasn't good, that means i picked a good topic. who wants to face their demons? everyone of us here has problematic relationships. simply put, it's a symtom of drug and alcohol addiction. i've been using since age ten, so i really don't have much in the way of healthy relationships. it comes to my mind because i've been getting to know a 'normy' who is my first real contact outside institutions. it's scary shit. i'm finding this is all uncharted territory.

so the group began. i was sitting halfway in from the starting point. the first people to go before me kind of pussy footed around the topic. that's understandable, not very productive, but understandable. well, it's my turn now. i told them to hold on because i had a lot to talk about. i saw some sighs. tough shit. the crux of my sharing experience is that i don't have a relationship with myself, so how could i possibly have one with you? i'm a selfish son of a bitch. i don't know any of my family members ages or birthdays. that's symptomatic of a sick fuck, me. i babbled for about fifteen minutes about this shit. i had a lot to say and discover. i set the tone for the rest of the meeting too. people really seemed to pick up interest after i went. this is important shit. people make me who i am, and without them i am nothing. i need you, and i want you to need me. i look forward to being in healthy relationships. i crave them.

so that's where i am. where are you? would you be able to handle me? HOW honesty openmided willing.
windermere:
Alienating people can definitely be fun. Frightening them can be even more fun, especially when not even trying. tongue

Not sure how many people you'll be able to alienate with the profile change...seems to be more humorous than anything. smile
Jun 17, 2007

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