i love this girl... she's so nice and sweet. we spent a lot of time together today. a lot to me is two hours. when i was abusing drugs, women were the last thing on my mind. i don't think i even spoke to one in over six months. it was two weeks into rehab where i realized what the hell i was missing. the feminine perspective is so intriging. i love women. love 'em!!! talking to them requires little or no effort, i feel i can truly be comfortable with who i am around them. i don't do too well with men. it is for them i feel that i must put on an act. why is this? i was very much picked on by other boys while i was growing up. i was a momma's boy, a pussy, a bone smoker... you name it, that was me. it's a shame i was always afraid of girls... until recently. i now have an unquenchable thirst for them. my problem is i get way too attached. i need to control the overwhelming outpouring of emotion and thought. i become way to engrossed. i start getting frigging jealious over stupid shit. i think it might have something to do with basic female personality... they seem to be able to express emotion way more easily than men... and that really attracts me. so when i'm speaking to a woman, and in the course of her natural conversational techniques, i find myself falling in love... but there's something about this one... i know i don't have a chance, so i'm just beating myself up for nothing, but it's fun to think about...
