myopically

i am a poor freezingly cold soul
so far from where i intended to go
scaviging through lifes very constant lows
so far from where i determined to go
wish i knew the way to reach the one i love
there is no way
wish i had the chant
to attract the one i love
but you see...
i've got no chance
tonight i've consumed...
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watch your thoughts because they lead to attitudes
watch your attitudes bcause they lead to words
watch your words because they lead to actions
watch your actions because they led to habits
watch your habits because they lead to character
watch your character because it determines your destiny

it was familiar to me
the smoke too thick to breath
the tile floor glistened
i slowly stirred my drink
and when you started to sing
you spoke with broken speech
that i could not understand
and then you grabbed me tightly

i won't let go i won't let go
even you if you say so no
i've tried and tried with no results
i...
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now you're gone
it's hotels, whiskey, and sad luck dames
and i don't care if they miss me
i never remember their names
they say if you get far enough away
you'll be on your way back home
well i'm at the station
and i can't get back on the train

must be blind love
only kind of love is stone blind love
blind love...
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clouds line the sky. azure obscura. sailing birds dot the ceiling, shitting on what lie below
innocent, fresh, pure.

nightmarish screams emminate from hollow windows.
curtains flare in the breeze.
hardwood floors yellowed and gashed.
a solitary chair in wait.

the watch without hands
glasses without eyes
a book without words
smoke without fire

hollow chords ring true
from pallor to jaundice
body supports the...
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standing alone. feet covered. grains pale specked black. shells scattered wistfully about, reminded of life past. insignificant. waves crash. ebb and flow. foam bubbles.

sight, sound, touch, smell, resulting in taste.

nothing is constant, paradoxically, the circle is not round. moments fleeting, never to return. i stand alone.

sinking, gravity, a gentle reminder of mortality that consumes.

covered. eyes of sand, i am gone, but...
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i love this shit man. i'm in a fucking weird mood today. my goal is to alienate as many people as possible. you should really check out my profile i just redid. wow. what was i going for there? i really don't give too much of a shit to be honest. i figure i'm perverse and i want you to know it so if you...
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hey bitches. word? i'm so white i'm pale.

today is pretty decent despite the fact that i didn't take my sleeping meds until very late and i was left quite hung over this morning. life is spinning around me these days. in some respects time seems to fly, when i look at the absolute, but when it comes to the conceptual, it creeps along like...
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ha! it's tuesday, yep, tuesday. i'm tired today, i couldn't sleep last night, i was busy thinking about someone. god, why do people comsume our thoughts!?!? that's actually a stupid question, i suppose it was meant to be rhetorical.

i completed my third step last night. no mention of a 4th yet. i hear that's when it gets sticky

hey, just to let everyone know,...
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it's sunday again. i like to read my blogs. since only one other person reads them, i consider it to be my journal. since i'm willing to be completely honest with this person, i've come to realize that this writing here is more honest than if i were to write it in a book. i often wonder... what does she think of my ranting? it's...
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i did my daily check in ith my sponsor tonight. i had seen him last night. he noticed i looked perturbed. he let me vent, shook his head, asked me if that was all, and hugged me. so tonight on the phone he asked if i was still pissed. yeah, i;m a little bent. he gave me homework. list the things you are angry about...
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