I was involved with someone for nearly a year and a half. It ended on my birthday in July. Happy fucking birthday, right?
I tried to give her a hug in public. A pleasant, friendly yet affectionate, non-groping hug. She put her hand up to stop me and said "act like a normal person"...
What. The. Genuine. Fuck. In a relationship for nearly a year and a half and I can't show a little appreciation and closeness to you in public? That's it, I'm tired of this shit. You can grow old and be the lonely crazy cat lady you always dreamed about being.
I've spent some time on my own trying to heal. Then, opened up a dating profile or two and went on a couple dates here & there. Dated one lady a few times with nothing serious going on, just polite conversation and safe public activities. But in the end, she chose another guy that she liked more. No big deal as we each need to be true to ourselves. Good luck to her. Really.
Then I went to a show with someone I thought was really quite amazing. We had a great, and very intimate time together. Lot of very close affection and kissing... And she never called me back. Well, that's not entirely true. We went on a walk together and had ice cream as a second date. And she told me I reminded her too much of her ex and it was too soon after her break up to be involved with anyone. Great...
And those two were the best prospects out there for me. The one who liked another guy better, and the one who was too emotionally damaged to date.
It seems that, based on those who've actually responded to my dating profile, that I am stuck firmly between worlds. I'm too sporty and athletic for those who are not. And I'm not athletic looking enough for those who are athletic. I'm not geeky enough for those who are, and too geeky for those who aren't.
Since I'm in limbo land, it seems I'll be alone for some time. Might as well make the best of it and just work on myself. I'm sick of dating anyway.