Oh wow, I'm home. Here's the story of how Mya got to Montreal without a speeding ticket...
So I'm driving along, about 40 miles from Quebec, still in Ontario. I have the iPod blaring Pink's "Feel Good Time" (from Charlie's Angel's 2) and I'm going about 90mph (about 140 km/h) when I come around a corner on the 401 and see A COP SITTING RIGHT BEHIND THE PILLAR OF AN OVERPASS!! There are 5 cars right behind me going the same speed as me - plus some stragglers behind us all. I look in my rearview mirror and it's like a movie... the cop is trying to get out of his little speed trap ditch and onto the freeway and he's fishtailing and throwing dirt and gravel all over the place - a dust cloud welled up underneath his car. I now had two decisions: 1) slow down and just pull over, or 2) say fuck it and go. I knew he was after me because I'm sure he clocked me first since I was the first person in that line of cars. Well, I weighed my options... the cop was facing me, which means that in order for him to get out of his parking spot and into the road it took awhile. Also, I was going up a hill and around a corner at 90 mph - he'd have to really work it to catch up. So I chose option #2. I fucking just kept going. I was in the left lane so as I went around a corner I moved into the right and hid in front of the car that was behind me. I saw him in my side mirror, lights flashing, coming up on me in the left lane. I slowed down 10 mph to 80. We were coming up on an exit - should I take it? No... I'll just keep going. haha At this point he was like 2 cars behind me and none of us had really slowed down all that much. I figured that my fate was to get my first speeding ticket right there and then in Ontario. I put on my blinker to pull over and slowed down slightly.... when the next thing I know THREE of the speeding cars behind me pull over and the cop stops pulling them all over at once!!! I flick off my blinker and once he's at a complete stop I fucking GO GO GO. My legs are shaking (you know how they do when you're almost in an accident or almost get pulled over) but at this point I need to get out of there and into Quebec. So I drive between 90 and 100 mph the entire way to Quebec. The cop never gets me. Instead, those poor 3 Canadians took the heat for me - cuz I know that in the beginning he was totally coming for me. So - THANK YOU 3 CANADIANS - whoever you are!
So I finally get to Montreal and geneticworld and I order some of my favorite pizza for dinner and we just hang out at his place for the evening. The next day we went to Ikea and I got a magazine rack and some straws. Don't ask me why I decided to buy straws in Canada... but they were 99 cents Canadian - so they were fucking cheap. Had some more pizza for lunch and then some yummy curry for dinner and rented season 2 of South Park. I left at about noon - I have a lot of homework to finish this weekend.
Now.... here's my lovely drive home...
I needed gas so I stopped to get some right outside of the city. I put in my credit card and pump the gas and then the damn machine is beeping at me but I can't read it because it's in French and I have no idea why it's beeping. So I press a button and it looks like an ATM thinger with choices for dollar amounts. So I hit "cancel" because it's the only button I can read. A little screen comes up with a picture of a gas pump with an "X" throught it saying "Payment Cancelled". hmm... now, I'm not sure if I cancelled the whole transaction or just that last part. I already pumped my gas. Oh well... no one was running out of the store at me so I just left. I'm not sure if I stole gas or what... they should really have those machines in English too.
I manage to stay clear of getting pulled over.
And at customs....
I figure there's gonna be lots of cars because it's Easter weekend. But I get up to the booths and 2 lanes are open and there are only 2 cars in front of me - YAY! The car at the booth in the other lane gets stopped and told to pull over. Then the car in front of me gets told to pull over. hmm... I can't possibly be next, can I?? So I pull up to the little booth and hand my passport to the customs guy...
HIM: Country of citizenship?
ME: US
HIM: Where do you live?
ME: Syracuse, New York
HIM: Where were you in Canada?
ME: Montreal
HIM: And what were you doing there?
ME: I was visiting me partner. He lives there.
HIM: Well, that's quite a trek!... for a boyfriend!
ME: (laughing nervously) Umm.. well, it's not that bad actually.
(he stops talking and pages through my passport)
HIM: So you were born in Washington, DC, huh?
ME: Yeah
HIM: Why were you born there?
ME: (wondering how to answer this question) Umm... well... my parents lived in Maryland near the DC border and I guess the closest hospital was in DC instead of Maryland...
HIM: Hmm.. ok. Do they still live there?
ME: No
HIM: Could you put your car in park and open your trunk for me, please?
ME: Sure... but I can't really open my trunk from here, you can just open it
HIM: Okay (walks to back of car and attempts to open trunk)... it's locked...
ME: (pressing the unlock button) Sorry!
(he opens the trunk and looks around - this is weird because there is nothing in there and I have an open trunk, you can see in it from outside the car)
(he closes and trunk and walks back around to the booth)
HIM: What do you do for a living?
ME: I'm a graduate student at Syracuse University
HIM: What are you majoring in?
ME: I'm getting my PhD in sociology
HIM: Wow, ok... And what are you going to do with that?
ME: Be a professor
HIM: So you'll get done with school just to go back again, huh? hmm
ME: Yeah, I guess
HIM: Where did your parents move after DC?
ME: Pennsylvania
HIM: Just kept moving north, huh? (laughs)
ME: Well, I guess
HIM: Do you know where Fairfax county is?
ME: Umm... no
HIM: Well, it's in Virginia - that's where I'm from (hands me my passport back)
ME: Oh
HIM: Well, have a nice day
ME: Thanks, you too
Ugh... why all the questions?! Weirdo customs people!
Anyway, now I'm tired and I'm going to take a nap.
So I'm driving along, about 40 miles from Quebec, still in Ontario. I have the iPod blaring Pink's "Feel Good Time" (from Charlie's Angel's 2) and I'm going about 90mph (about 140 km/h) when I come around a corner on the 401 and see A COP SITTING RIGHT BEHIND THE PILLAR OF AN OVERPASS!! There are 5 cars right behind me going the same speed as me - plus some stragglers behind us all. I look in my rearview mirror and it's like a movie... the cop is trying to get out of his little speed trap ditch and onto the freeway and he's fishtailing and throwing dirt and gravel all over the place - a dust cloud welled up underneath his car. I now had two decisions: 1) slow down and just pull over, or 2) say fuck it and go. I knew he was after me because I'm sure he clocked me first since I was the first person in that line of cars. Well, I weighed my options... the cop was facing me, which means that in order for him to get out of his parking spot and into the road it took awhile. Also, I was going up a hill and around a corner at 90 mph - he'd have to really work it to catch up. So I chose option #2. I fucking just kept going. I was in the left lane so as I went around a corner I moved into the right and hid in front of the car that was behind me. I saw him in my side mirror, lights flashing, coming up on me in the left lane. I slowed down 10 mph to 80. We were coming up on an exit - should I take it? No... I'll just keep going. haha At this point he was like 2 cars behind me and none of us had really slowed down all that much. I figured that my fate was to get my first speeding ticket right there and then in Ontario. I put on my blinker to pull over and slowed down slightly.... when the next thing I know THREE of the speeding cars behind me pull over and the cop stops pulling them all over at once!!! I flick off my blinker and once he's at a complete stop I fucking GO GO GO. My legs are shaking (you know how they do when you're almost in an accident or almost get pulled over) but at this point I need to get out of there and into Quebec. So I drive between 90 and 100 mph the entire way to Quebec. The cop never gets me. Instead, those poor 3 Canadians took the heat for me - cuz I know that in the beginning he was totally coming for me. So - THANK YOU 3 CANADIANS - whoever you are!
So I finally get to Montreal and geneticworld and I order some of my favorite pizza for dinner and we just hang out at his place for the evening. The next day we went to Ikea and I got a magazine rack and some straws. Don't ask me why I decided to buy straws in Canada... but they were 99 cents Canadian - so they were fucking cheap. Had some more pizza for lunch and then some yummy curry for dinner and rented season 2 of South Park. I left at about noon - I have a lot of homework to finish this weekend.
Now.... here's my lovely drive home...
I needed gas so I stopped to get some right outside of the city. I put in my credit card and pump the gas and then the damn machine is beeping at me but I can't read it because it's in French and I have no idea why it's beeping. So I press a button and it looks like an ATM thinger with choices for dollar amounts. So I hit "cancel" because it's the only button I can read. A little screen comes up with a picture of a gas pump with an "X" throught it saying "Payment Cancelled". hmm... now, I'm not sure if I cancelled the whole transaction or just that last part. I already pumped my gas. Oh well... no one was running out of the store at me so I just left. I'm not sure if I stole gas or what... they should really have those machines in English too.
I manage to stay clear of getting pulled over.
And at customs....
I figure there's gonna be lots of cars because it's Easter weekend. But I get up to the booths and 2 lanes are open and there are only 2 cars in front of me - YAY! The car at the booth in the other lane gets stopped and told to pull over. Then the car in front of me gets told to pull over. hmm... I can't possibly be next, can I?? So I pull up to the little booth and hand my passport to the customs guy...
HIM: Country of citizenship?
ME: US
HIM: Where do you live?
ME: Syracuse, New York
HIM: Where were you in Canada?
ME: Montreal
HIM: And what were you doing there?
ME: I was visiting me partner. He lives there.
HIM: Well, that's quite a trek!... for a boyfriend!
ME: (laughing nervously) Umm.. well, it's not that bad actually.
(he stops talking and pages through my passport)
HIM: So you were born in Washington, DC, huh?
ME: Yeah
HIM: Why were you born there?
ME: (wondering how to answer this question) Umm... well... my parents lived in Maryland near the DC border and I guess the closest hospital was in DC instead of Maryland...
HIM: Hmm.. ok. Do they still live there?
ME: No
HIM: Could you put your car in park and open your trunk for me, please?
ME: Sure... but I can't really open my trunk from here, you can just open it
HIM: Okay (walks to back of car and attempts to open trunk)... it's locked...
ME: (pressing the unlock button) Sorry!
(he opens the trunk and looks around - this is weird because there is nothing in there and I have an open trunk, you can see in it from outside the car)
(he closes and trunk and walks back around to the booth)
HIM: What do you do for a living?
ME: I'm a graduate student at Syracuse University
HIM: What are you majoring in?
ME: I'm getting my PhD in sociology
HIM: Wow, ok... And what are you going to do with that?
ME: Be a professor
HIM: So you'll get done with school just to go back again, huh? hmm
ME: Yeah, I guess
HIM: Where did your parents move after DC?
ME: Pennsylvania
HIM: Just kept moving north, huh? (laughs)
ME: Well, I guess
HIM: Do you know where Fairfax county is?
ME: Umm... no
HIM: Well, it's in Virginia - that's where I'm from (hands me my passport back)
ME: Oh
HIM: Well, have a nice day
ME: Thanks, you too
Ugh... why all the questions?! Weirdo customs people!
Anyway, now I'm tired and I'm going to take a nap.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
evading the cops, getting good pizza & lovin', ripping off the oil companies, and confusing customs into flirting with you!
perfect!
:-)
Also, I liked your story from customs, esp. the "Why were you born there?"..... what type of stupid question is that?!