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mxv

I'm an alien.

Member Since 2005

Followers 36 Following 58

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Thursday Nov 30, 2006

Nov 30, 2006
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And yet ANOTHER post today.


I just can't get over the idea that I made her think that all of a sudden I didn't trust her or want to be with her.

It sounded like she was telling me that she didn't trust HERSELF. And that scared me more than any back-of-the-mind fear I might have.


It was never about me trusting her or not, because I really did. It was never about any other guys, and it was never about her honesty. All of that was fine. It was about if she was really telling me that SHE didn't think she could hold on or something.


That was all. Was she now doubting herself, after all of this?

That's not really what she meant. It's a little more complicated than that, and I understand.


And I still can't get over how I made her feel by throwing this at her now. She doesn't need it. She's struggling with some issues, and here I go drilling her on them. I didn't even write that one rant with the intention of having her read it then, let alone getting into a big phone conversation. But you see how I fucked THAT one up. I'm just SOOOOO smooth sometimes... whatever


It is true that I needed to know just what she was getting at with that previous conversation, but I didn't have to do it like that. It only caused more harm than good. Now she thinks that _I_ feel she can't be trusted. She thinks that I don't really want to be with her now.


No, I want to be with her more than anything else right now. There is no re-analyzing required for that decision. I'm not sure that SHE'S as sure about this now that I've done this, but I'll find out soon enough.


I hope she is able to understand me. I love her, and I will still love her, no matter what happens tonight.



-MXV

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