musim

I really have two subjects on my brain at the moment, both completely unrelated.

The first is a hard one for me presently to sum up easily in a sentence. Now I've been that kid in the back of the class making fun of everyone else for having fun and being sheep most of my life (up until a couple years ago actually). I've really come to have a negative opinion of that mentality now. Let's take the entertainment industry for instance.

A commercial comes on in a theater. This commercial is designed to make you laugh at certain places and, of course, want to buy the product. If its for a movie then maybe they show you all the best parts or best lines. The back of the class kid would make fun of anyone for falling for such an obvious ploy. Well you know what my opinion on it is? That's life. Pick and choose. What do you know about the company or people involved? No, what do you really know, not rumors. I hate the sheep people that live on rumors. Not every old saying is right in every instance. Just sayin'. Personally I respect a person more that knowingly enjoys an advertised life. I mean seriously, its the entertainment industry, why the fuck are you watching it if you don't want to be entertained. Yeah there's a lot of bullshit in the world but if we want to get really extreme then in all reality we don't shit in the first place. You may disagree with that last line but I'm telling you its true. Were you there? Did you see it? And if you've been to any magic shows you know a lot of things can be faked. And if you've ever dated around you know emotions can be faked to some degree. Well I suppose it isn't the emotion that's being faked but the communication is mislead which develops into one sided emotions. Anyway, got on a tangent. My first point is somewhere up there.

Second one's about me. I think I've hardly dated anyone over the past 5 years because I am utterly convinced I won't treat them right. I become disinterested rather quickly with the few I have dated. I haven't really been able to connect with a female for a long time and I mean that in the mind kind of way pervs. The last few I did connect with were good friends' girls and those may as well be dudes in my head. I'm looking for mental stimulation and not finding it. Course I'm not really looking either. Its not that I don't want a girlfriend, its more a compilation of what I've told you. Then add on to that I've become a horrible listener and people don't seem to want to tell me things anyone it seems like. I swear for a while it was like I was the most trusted person in the world and then it all went away. No clue why. Course that probably goes both ways. Its not that I don't trust people, its that I used to not trust people and now I don't care enough to bother with the subject so much. Well, I don't know that what I just wrote is true. See I really don't care about doing the whole know thyself thing anymore. There's only so much self exploration a guy can take. Man this paragraph is going no where fast. Well I say that, its going to a lot of clarification. Time to end it.