Well I finally figured out what I think will be the process that is the key to getting through my Experimental Methods I class. Now I just have to make sure I don't flunk everything in the mean time. I think I'll pass everything this semester though. It looks like I'll wind up with C's. I'm not too happy about that. I'm not super anal retentive about my grades but I like to keep at least a 3.0 grade average so I'll get more awards and such.
Spring break is only a few days away. So is Saint Patty's weekend too. Keg party at a friends friday night (contact me if you want to go). Block party at Arnie's on Saturday. It'll be fun.
"There are no boring places, just boring people." Now that's a phrase I think about a lot. Mainly because I'm bored a lot present day. I want to meet new people and I want to actually be able to converse with them about something other than getting fucked up. I'm so tired of the bar scene. I need a new hobby. Music is awesome but that's a bit more than a hobby.
And, dare I say it, I'm tired of video games. They're just something for me to zone out to present day. Course that's if and when I get time to play them. Usually sleep or hanging out with a friend sounds so much better.
I'm also getting tired of movies which is blasphemy in my book. I'm still looking forward to around five or six movies this year but a lot of the fire has gone out of me for movies. The last two years I've been a movie nut and now it seems to winding down.
I need out door activities. Readily accessibly. Challenging. A way to meet new and different people. A way to find a renewed interest in the world again.
I miss caring about the world. Its like I have several schools of thought in my head that completely contradict each other from subtle to forth right. On the one hand, everything seems to freaking cliched. I see so many kids (= 18 tp 22) getting excited and riding the same boats I've ridden and talking to me about things like they're completely new and all I can think of is been there, done that. Okay I haven't been there but I had several friedns who were into that so I'm more familiar with the subject than you are somehow. Although this school of thought sounds like a better than you thing it really isn't. It more boils down to that I'm meeting new people in the same places or situations (ie bars, parties, etc) and so the whole scene they're presently in is new to them while I'm the old guy.
Another school of thought in my head sees people arguing or trying to one up each other or whatever these cliches are I'm talking about rations it out. Most behaviour between people can be traced back to communication or miscommunication. Most people hurt each other because they were misunderstood once in a very human way and they never moved past it. They may not even realize it and if they did they may not know how to change it. People get hurt, and they go and hurt more people. At the same time if someone makes you feel good you're more likely to make someone else feel good. Unfortunately the later generally targets less people. Either way point being, if someone pissed, its not because they're evil.
And then there's the other part of me that's completely bored with people any which way. Like I've turned into a walking dead. I eat. I sleep. I do homework. I masturbate. I occasionally see friends. Woo. Everything's the same. I don't care much about challenges anymore. I don't care about learning much either. And those last two sentences are problems. Because I need to remember how to enjoy challenges. To have that determination, that focus. Granted if its a long term challenge that will only last the first week or so but whatever. I miss it. And learning! I used to love asking people questions constantly. Now all I do is asked fucked questions to see how people will react to them without concern to what they're going to think of me afterwards.
And then there's the whole moral dilemma thing, I used to interfere with friends morals. Then I just stopped. I gave up. I have a friend who cheats on his wife. He has a kid. I've met his wife once. Do I care? I don't want him to do it. I don't want to be like him in that way. But he's not going to change if I bitch him out for it. How do I know if I don't do it? Well I've already done this stuff a whoooooooooooooole lot already. I've lost friends over this kind of thing. I've been through a ton of friends. Those are the ropes when there is very little thought process going on before you speak. So I don't know the guy's wife. So I'm not expending the energy to care. Its wrong but I can only be my friends' morale compass for so many years before I get tired of it.
And then there's the balance thing. Everything has to balance. Extremes will balance themselves out with other extremes. 1st and 2nd law of thermodynamics. Gotta have the good and the bad. Hell we all enjoy the bad at times whether depression or sexy.
And lately I've made a discovery in my engineering studies. The phrase a computer is all 0's and 1's is bullshit. A computer is a bunch of conductive materials of varying degrees with different levels of electron flow at a lot of different points. All these equations and words and symmetries aren't in nature. We're applying them to nature. We're using them to try and understand nature. There is no perfect circle or line. It may be close to a freaking nano decimal but its not perfect. If it was, it wouldn't fail apart eventually.
Wow so this turned out way longer than I thought it would so I'm stopping. No conclusion, sorry.
Spring break is only a few days away. So is Saint Patty's weekend too. Keg party at a friends friday night (contact me if you want to go). Block party at Arnie's on Saturday. It'll be fun.
"There are no boring places, just boring people." Now that's a phrase I think about a lot. Mainly because I'm bored a lot present day. I want to meet new people and I want to actually be able to converse with them about something other than getting fucked up. I'm so tired of the bar scene. I need a new hobby. Music is awesome but that's a bit more than a hobby.
And, dare I say it, I'm tired of video games. They're just something for me to zone out to present day. Course that's if and when I get time to play them. Usually sleep or hanging out with a friend sounds so much better.
I'm also getting tired of movies which is blasphemy in my book. I'm still looking forward to around five or six movies this year but a lot of the fire has gone out of me for movies. The last two years I've been a movie nut and now it seems to winding down.
I need out door activities. Readily accessibly. Challenging. A way to meet new and different people. A way to find a renewed interest in the world again.
I miss caring about the world. Its like I have several schools of thought in my head that completely contradict each other from subtle to forth right. On the one hand, everything seems to freaking cliched. I see so many kids (= 18 tp 22) getting excited and riding the same boats I've ridden and talking to me about things like they're completely new and all I can think of is been there, done that. Okay I haven't been there but I had several friedns who were into that so I'm more familiar with the subject than you are somehow. Although this school of thought sounds like a better than you thing it really isn't. It more boils down to that I'm meeting new people in the same places or situations (ie bars, parties, etc) and so the whole scene they're presently in is new to them while I'm the old guy.
Another school of thought in my head sees people arguing or trying to one up each other or whatever these cliches are I'm talking about rations it out. Most behaviour between people can be traced back to communication or miscommunication. Most people hurt each other because they were misunderstood once in a very human way and they never moved past it. They may not even realize it and if they did they may not know how to change it. People get hurt, and they go and hurt more people. At the same time if someone makes you feel good you're more likely to make someone else feel good. Unfortunately the later generally targets less people. Either way point being, if someone pissed, its not because they're evil.
And then there's the other part of me that's completely bored with people any which way. Like I've turned into a walking dead. I eat. I sleep. I do homework. I masturbate. I occasionally see friends. Woo. Everything's the same. I don't care much about challenges anymore. I don't care about learning much either. And those last two sentences are problems. Because I need to remember how to enjoy challenges. To have that determination, that focus. Granted if its a long term challenge that will only last the first week or so but whatever. I miss it. And learning! I used to love asking people questions constantly. Now all I do is asked fucked questions to see how people will react to them without concern to what they're going to think of me afterwards.
And then there's the whole moral dilemma thing, I used to interfere with friends morals. Then I just stopped. I gave up. I have a friend who cheats on his wife. He has a kid. I've met his wife once. Do I care? I don't want him to do it. I don't want to be like him in that way. But he's not going to change if I bitch him out for it. How do I know if I don't do it? Well I've already done this stuff a whoooooooooooooole lot already. I've lost friends over this kind of thing. I've been through a ton of friends. Those are the ropes when there is very little thought process going on before you speak. So I don't know the guy's wife. So I'm not expending the energy to care. Its wrong but I can only be my friends' morale compass for so many years before I get tired of it.
And then there's the balance thing. Everything has to balance. Extremes will balance themselves out with other extremes. 1st and 2nd law of thermodynamics. Gotta have the good and the bad. Hell we all enjoy the bad at times whether depression or sexy.
And lately I've made a discovery in my engineering studies. The phrase a computer is all 0's and 1's is bullshit. A computer is a bunch of conductive materials of varying degrees with different levels of electron flow at a lot of different points. All these equations and words and symmetries aren't in nature. We're applying them to nature. We're using them to try and understand nature. There is no perfect circle or line. It may be close to a freaking nano decimal but its not perfect. If it was, it wouldn't fail apart eventually.
Wow so this turned out way longer than I thought it would so I'm stopping. No conclusion, sorry.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Outdoor activities? Are you serious? Why is it important for you to meet new people? I'm not agreeing or disagreeing just curious about what's driving you feeling that way. I keep thinking "Musim is looking for something to occupy himself and to keep himself interested, now would be a good time for that start-up venture (whatever it might be)." But an occupation doesn't replace going out to bars. Most people just feel that need no matter how busy they keep themselves, how many hobbies they have, how many people they meet, etc.
I agree you shouldn't worry about being your friends' moral compass, but you should give your honest opinion or advice when asked, and I know you do.
Hmm the computer/nature concept, something is not just right about that. We are using 0's and 1's to understand nature? I see what we do with computers as seperate from nature for some reason. This relates to what I have been experiencing on Second Life. It is kinda messing with my head. I'll tell you more about that later.