Addiction doesn’t just affect the person that has the addiction it affects everyone.. In some cases I feel that it may affect the “sober” more.. since we have to see and deal with the constant fall out.
My first marriage was full of addiction and headaches.. I was too young to deal but, still managed and survived as I always do..
I have had roomates that are hardcore junkies.. in out of rehab and on methadone.. Don’t even get me started on methadone..
Over the past three years addiction once again found its way into my life.. It took my schooling, it took my business and my sanity.. In many ways it took my life as I saw it. I am not the addict but, more so appear to be the enabler of one.
I have waited up countless nights wondering if they are dead… .I have been followed .. I have have beent threatened by dealers..I have been in and out of drug dens..Fuck at one point I went on a witch hunt with a knife…. all for what?!
Everyone is there to support the addict but, who is it that supports the family, loved ones and friends? Who holds our hand and hugs us.. who tells us it will be okay?1? Who cries with us when we are tired, emotionally drained…. Broke.. ?!
I think it is amazing that there are so many programs out there to help.. but even then the family still has to be there in the wings supporting encouraging and listening to their every move.. Listen to lengthy phone calls about how bad things are going or what someone said in the hallways…. All you can do is listen.. try to chew anti-acids to cope with the stress induced acid reflux.. *sigh*
You continue on in your life trying to piece everything back together.. trying to undo what has been done and seen… There is no program or services for us the family….. there is no victory speach or diner when we graduate into sobriety. All there is .. is worry.. stress and constant anxiety.. and most of all trust issues.. and still no one to hug us and tell us it may be okay..
I am greatful for addiction services when they can help but, there needs to be something to help even the strongest get through being the sober one living through addiction behaviors
