First things first. I'm hiding the dramatic, climactic parts of this story in a spoiler because I don't want you accidentally seeing what happened before you get the background
My NYE date fell through because I have the knack for attracting guys who are nothing but assholes covered in a very thin veneer of NiceGuy-ness. I talked to my "date" Saturday around noon...when he utterly screwed up the whole thing by telling me that I shouldn't look at spending New Years Eve with him as significant, because while he was looking for a long-term relationship, he wasn't looking for one with a girl who...are you ready..
WHAT IN THE HELL?!? Did he honestly think I have so little self-respect that he could just lay it out there like that and I'd say, "Well, that's the best offer I've had all year," and still want to spend time with him? Because he sounded really surprised when I was pissed off, and I ended up giving him a speech, which he tried to interrupt, but I wouldn't let him:
and then I hung up on him. He hasn't called back 
So...I ended up spending the evening with my cousin and her boyfriend at their house. We drank too many apple martinis, played some game called "Fact or Crap?"...which I won, because apparently I really know my crap, and watched the ball drop on TV. I ended up sleeping there, then we woke up late, got carryout from Chili's and watched the Chiefs game. Excellent game, we kicked Cinncinnati's collective ass, but it was meaningless as we needed the Steelers to lose to make the playoffs, and they didn't 
I also became the proud new owner of a dumpster-dived Ficus tree, which is freaking enormous, and is a whole story in and of itself. We'll talk about that later
