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"And as I stand there, watching them play these video games, helpless to do anything about it. I stand and wonder, 'Where has the system failed?'"

-John Stewart From "The Daily Show"

"Seriously, the House of Representatives is filled with INSANE Jackasses"
-John Stewart from "The Daily Show


YES!!! FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT!!!


I was gonna jump on the chat earlier today, but I had to watch the daily show rip on the obvious idiocy of Politicians whose "violent game" experience (this is from the show) range from PONG (got to be fucking kidding me) all the way up to the grotesqueness of Civilization IV (for those hardcore violent fetshists).

So far the big debate as to whether or not the current game rating system is adequate stemming the tied of kids lying to their parents that "Resident Evil 4 is just a cute fluffy love fest". For the record, the ESRB already puts a symbol (not unlike the movie rating system mind you) stating what demographic of gamers the game was built for. Parents, listen carefully because this is VITAL. If the game is rated for player 17 and older. then you DON'T FUCKING BUY IT FOR YOUR 10 YR OLD LITTLE ANGEL SIMPLY BECAUSE IT'S THE CHRISTMAS PRESENT HE'S WANTED ALL FUCKING YEAR! At LEAST, I say, the retailers should outright deny a child under 17 to buy a M rated game. When he/she brings his/her parent to get THEM to buy it for them, because obviously the saleperson is a completely JACKASS to determine what material is proper for THEIR child to be exposed of, the saleperson should flip the game box over (listen closely to this, raging politicians) and show the parents the equally sized box in the corner that tells you what CONTENT is in the game. These little blurbs can include, "Sexual content", "Graphic Violence and Gore", "Adult Situations", and so on. Now it's not as RETARDEDLY accurate as our current iteration of the movie rating system (E.g. Blue Crush is rated PG-13 for numerous teen situations and, I quote, "A fight"). C'MON PEOPLE!! Shouldn't "A fight" be something of a surprise for movie viewers. Tagging Harry Potter as PG-13 for (reading from "Goblet of Fire" box) "Sequences of Fantasy Violence and some Frightening Images", just leaves one sentence blaring in my head. NO FUCKING SHIT, JACK! That's like Tagging the movie Alien with "Some Scenes With A Space Creature". Again, NO FUCKING SHIT, JACK!

But back to video games. Of course, Grand Theft Auto San Andreas is the whipping boy of the political right again. Why dont they bring out The Three Stooges while they're at it, since kids have been beating the shit out of themselves for DECADES by imitating the little pliar-to-the-nose bit. Kids who play video games that are well above their age restriction (Again the M-17+ label placed on the front of the FUCKING BOX!!!) have parents who obviously don't know what the hell their kids are playing. My parents knew EXACTLY what games I had till i was an adult and able to buy mature games myself. That's because they either bought them for me, or took me to the store themselves so I could buy it myself. Now my parents were not Acedemic Geniuses or anything. They were not Harvard Docs or Lawyers writing numerous reviews in the law or medical Journals (hell my dad didnt graduate high school, but instead got his GED), so i find it REALLY strange that College grad parents don't seem to notice what my working-class father picked up on the first time he saw MY video game picks. I'm gonna give parents a little advice, and they're free to disregard since I am not a parent. Hell, I don't even LIKE kids. It's simple advice, easy to grasp, and it consists of just a few words: *deep,calming breath* "You're not getting that game." THAT'S IT, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! They'll whine, they'll bitch, they'll threaten to go live with their REAL dad or mom, but YOU put the foot down, therefore YOU have done your parental responsibility to keep material away from kids that YOU feel are too mature for them to handle.

Also on a funny note: It turns out that Rich suburban kids are less likely to mimic the actions GTA san Andreas because they dont live in impovrished neighborhoods where young people are supposed to be more susceptable to stealing cars or various gang-like behavior (don't blame me, go watch the Daily Show to hear what this Pennsylvania Repubican Retard is spouting about). Look, you narrow-minded, self-righteous, secret bondage-loving, uptight little bastards; I wasby NO means either a rich kids or a suburban kid. When I was old enough to understand and eventually come to love violent images, i was 11 years old and living on a farm. My dad taught me how to shoot a rifle, my mom taught me how to use a handgun, and SHE took me to see Termintaor 2: Judgment Day in theaters (no mama's boy jokes im trying to make a damn point). Since then I have yet to shoot up cops because I think they may be shape-shifting, time-traveling killing machines, but according to YOUR logic, Mr. Pennsylvania Republican, Im obviously LONG overdue for a school-shooting or two.

Rant nearly over. One final thought: Why are we spending so much time and energy legislating stronger restrictions on Video Game Sex and Violence when that SAME energy could be better spent on Parental Education and Child Rearing?

Okay Im done. The government is currently run by Jackasses. This leads me to my new current catchphrase, which is to be used when something of obvious retardation is taken by the Public as "business as usual".

OH Discordia!

PS. if anyone happens to KNOW Lewis Black or Carlos Mencia and wants to offer them new material to play with.. FEEL FREE please to send this to them.. Just make sure I get credit.. Thanx..