ms_n_thrope

ugh, school's almost done. or at least that's what i keep telling myself. i have two papers to finish tonight, one of which is a research paper that no one knows how to do. i've chosen to put a bunch of charts and stuff on it and write some shit. i'll try to do a good job when my professor tries to teach. then i have finals next week. yee-haw.

i'm thinking of babling off random stuff in my social theories class tomarrow as i and about 5 other people are the only ones that talk. i'm gonna try and fit kill whity in as much as i can. there's a bukowski poem called 'true story' that i also am going to try and slip in.

i went to a concert last night at apop. noise show, but john sheffield was really great. need to see if i can pick some of his stuff up.

recently have been feeling very anti social and distant from everyone, even myself in some way. i think i may be becoming sociopathic. i hope it's just a phase, really i do. i've usually been able to deal with people talking about their sex lives pretty well as compared to my non-existant one. though i really would much rather wait until i met someone i actually liked, any more i'm just so horny and frustrated that i'd settle for almost any kind of interaction. i hate feeling desperate.

i saw a pretty girl at the plasma center today. i think she might have looked at me a few times, but maybe i'm just trying to tell myself that because i don't want to know the awful truth if she wasn't.

i need to go xmas shopping. might do that tonight to procrastinate on writting my paper. i'm looking forward to xmas simply to see my family, especially my neices and nephews. that, and we're celebrating in lawrence, so i'll probably get to go to love garden sounds and blow a bunch of money i should be saving for my study abroad trip on lovely, lovely, music.

i got the new conformists album a few days ago. some tracks i'm 'this is weird i like it,' and some i'm 'this is weird even for the conformists'. i think they are intentionally trying to alianate the few fans they have, and for that i still love them.

for some reason i feel really worked up about something and like i'm going to end up doing something new, different and amazing because of it. i certainly hope so.

realized the reason no one ever reads my journal is because i don't have neked pics of me up anywhere on the site. thought about doing a suicide boys set, but i'm too shy. maybe later... there's only a few people who's journal i read or post on on a regular basis, so i guess i shouldn't expect too much. if only i have my own computer and time to waste. am also a bit perturbed when i see people one the site who have huge friends list and they've only been on a month or two. though it is pretty reflective of my social status in the really real world.

decided to try and include a random memory from my not so dark or mysterious past in each journal. here we go:
i remember is 6th grade we were divided into teams and were playing a current trivia game. another team had a question i knew the answer to (which was 'smashing pumpkins' just so you know) and i was so exited and whipped my head back REALLY hard and hit the wall behind me. god it hurt. a few minutes later i tilted my head forward and water came out my nose. afterwards the teacher took me out of class and told me to not pull any shit like that in class again or she would send me to the principal. i hated her so much and that just made things worse.