Today is a lazy fucking day.
A friend of mine moved into his new house yesterday so we hung out at his place. He has an HOA. I could have puked. HOAs are the worst fucking thing on the planet--well--next to all of the other bad things.
I hate masterplanned communities. It's pretty funny considering I live in the fucking nesting place of all masterplanned communities.
Phoenix used to be a huge grid of easily navigated streets. Now there is a huge mishmash of outlying communities that require a GPS system for navigation.
I'm probably just spoiled because I lived in an area where every house was different. We didn't have any fucking models to look at or a specific builder that we had to pick from. My dad drew up the plans for the house and hired somebody to build the motherfucker. Custom home built in 1989 in Waddell, AZ for $185,000 and that included two acres of land to blow shit up on (I was a teenage pyro, now I'm a 26 year-old pyro. Sunrise, sunset.) Now he recieves offers on his house for $600,000. Why? Because motherfuckers want to buy out the community, raze it, then build a shopping mall and some track homes. Fuck that shit. I'm not saying that the house doesn't need some help (the color scheme is so nauseatingly Scottsdale i.e. Desert Tortoise Mauve, Cactus Wren Turquoise, Sunset Grain Cobalt Blue) but still, I love the way that the house is not like any other house on the block.
Growing up, the closest major building was Luke Air Force Base. Now there are grocery stores encroaching upon this once outlying community. There are Del Webb properties sneaking up every year. People actually want to live out in the middle of, what used to be, fucking nowhere.
The influx of people certainly does not add to the culture reservoir. There is a nice arts scene that is happening downtown but for the most part AZ is void of anything that is remotely identifying as an AZ cultural birthmark.
It's funny to see people that move from other parts of the country and settle here. Their houses try to look as rustic as possible without having to plant an outhouse on their front lawn. I grew up here and I hate the rustic look. if the look happens just because of age then it is fine. It looks nice. But if one believes that making their house look like a fucking hogan is what people in AZ do then they are sorely mistaken. Which leads us to...
Desert Landscaping. If I remember the desert correctly (I've only lived in one for 26 years so I have a vague memory) it is made of fucking dirt and sand. People have carpets that they vaccum to keep them from being dirty so why would one want to litter their front lawn (and I use the term "lawn" very loosely in this sense) with four tons of rock and a cactus skeleton. Grass motherfuckers! Plant grass. Plant a fucking tree. Anything but that grainy assed large gravel that is placed on the front of four out of every five homes. People say that desert landscaping is easy to maintain. If you are going to be lazy, do not buy a fucking house. Rent an apartment--like me.
Jeez, I must have some pent up aggression because the past two posts have been slightly venemous. Oh well, fuck it. Maybe this will help:
There we go. Much brighter.
A friend of mine moved into his new house yesterday so we hung out at his place. He has an HOA. I could have puked. HOAs are the worst fucking thing on the planet--well--next to all of the other bad things.
I hate masterplanned communities. It's pretty funny considering I live in the fucking nesting place of all masterplanned communities.
Phoenix used to be a huge grid of easily navigated streets. Now there is a huge mishmash of outlying communities that require a GPS system for navigation.
I'm probably just spoiled because I lived in an area where every house was different. We didn't have any fucking models to look at or a specific builder that we had to pick from. My dad drew up the plans for the house and hired somebody to build the motherfucker. Custom home built in 1989 in Waddell, AZ for $185,000 and that included two acres of land to blow shit up on (I was a teenage pyro, now I'm a 26 year-old pyro. Sunrise, sunset.) Now he recieves offers on his house for $600,000. Why? Because motherfuckers want to buy out the community, raze it, then build a shopping mall and some track homes. Fuck that shit. I'm not saying that the house doesn't need some help (the color scheme is so nauseatingly Scottsdale i.e. Desert Tortoise Mauve, Cactus Wren Turquoise, Sunset Grain Cobalt Blue) but still, I love the way that the house is not like any other house on the block.
Growing up, the closest major building was Luke Air Force Base. Now there are grocery stores encroaching upon this once outlying community. There are Del Webb properties sneaking up every year. People actually want to live out in the middle of, what used to be, fucking nowhere.
The influx of people certainly does not add to the culture reservoir. There is a nice arts scene that is happening downtown but for the most part AZ is void of anything that is remotely identifying as an AZ cultural birthmark.
It's funny to see people that move from other parts of the country and settle here. Their houses try to look as rustic as possible without having to plant an outhouse on their front lawn. I grew up here and I hate the rustic look. if the look happens just because of age then it is fine. It looks nice. But if one believes that making their house look like a fucking hogan is what people in AZ do then they are sorely mistaken. Which leads us to...
Desert Landscaping. If I remember the desert correctly (I've only lived in one for 26 years so I have a vague memory) it is made of fucking dirt and sand. People have carpets that they vaccum to keep them from being dirty so why would one want to litter their front lawn (and I use the term "lawn" very loosely in this sense) with four tons of rock and a cactus skeleton. Grass motherfuckers! Plant grass. Plant a fucking tree. Anything but that grainy assed large gravel that is placed on the front of four out of every five homes. People say that desert landscaping is easy to maintain. If you are going to be lazy, do not buy a fucking house. Rent an apartment--like me.
Jeez, I must have some pent up aggression because the past two posts have been slightly venemous. Oh well, fuck it. Maybe this will help:
There we go. Much brighter.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
-SYNK
But I moved back. FOr NOW. bwhahahahaha