One bottle of wine and--GO!
I love the movie High Fidelity. The book is great but the the movie combined with the soundtrack is ridiculous.
At the same time I hate the movie. It brings around a part of my life where I, of course, had a bad relationship. Wait, stop. It was not a bad relationship per se, it was just--weird.
I had been dating a girl named Sarah. Wonderful girl. She was one of those Mom-Would-Want-Me-To-Bring-Her-Home-And-Show-Her-Off types of girls. She is smart. She is funny in a Naive-Wisconsin-Girl type of ways. Great looking lady. Just a peach. But at the same time she never really became comfortable which is sad in my opinion because if she had I believe we would have lasted for a while. Even possibly still be together today (which would have saved me from the Jessica debacle, but that's a whole other can of suck.)
Our first date was to go see that movie. It was a double date because she was fairly uncomfortable being around a guy by herself. She had to have one of her friends with her. I had a friend of mine, Jason, take her friend, Whatever The Fuck Her Name Is, to go see the movie with us.
Nice dinner beforehand. Nothing fancy, but it was nice. Good to sit around and just bullshit with a couple of cute girls and my "brother."
We get to the movie and I realize in the first thirty minutes of this movie that she was not enjoying herself. Maybe it was just that she had only been single for three months when the previous relationship she was in lasted for five years. Maybe she just did not like the movie. Maybe she had gas. I dunno.
What I do know is that she was not affectionate around people. By ourselves (after she realized that I'm not a threat, just weird) she was a touchy-feely and she showed a side to her that not many people have seen. She had been with one other guy and that was the person she had broken up with a few months prior.
In public though, she was a stone. She didn't like to hold hands or kiss or give each other those cutesy pat-on-the-butt signs of affection that I hold so dear. She didn't talk much and was just shy around other people. It aggravated me. Not because she was shy in public, but because she was just closed off to people who were not in her circle.
She had huge trust issues and she learned this behaviour from from the other guy. He was abusive and he kept his "Prized Possession" to himself. She didn't go out with friends. She didn't associate with anybody without him. She was closed off to other people.
Then I opened her up a little. I helped her see that life should not be spent in a bubble of self-doubt. We had some fun times and we never argued about anything major. We had a great relationship, save for a few details that ultimately killed us as a couple.
First: No PDA. I didn't want to screw while we were walking around and I did not feel the need to be attached to her mouth on a continuous basis. I just wanted to show the world that I cared for her and she cared for me. Around her family it was cool. We did give small family-friendly sings of affection but around everybody else it was almost nothing.
Second: She was too family oriented. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing to want to spend time with Mom and Dad. I'm just asking that we not spend every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday with her parents (Sunday was reserved for her church for most of the day, the rest of the time we spent it with her parents.)
Third: She did not know how to express herself--at all. If she was happy, no sign. Sad, no sign. Angry, no sign. I'm not speaking about her life experiences because she had no problem having me listen to her while she ached on about her life, which I didn't mind. That's what I'm there for. I just want to know how her day had gone without it being just "OK" or "Fine" or "So-so." Details, hon. That's all I'm asking. I don't need an hour-by-hour account. Just a little sign that she was alive and had feelings.
For all of her bad (well, not bad but definitely awkwardly quirky) habits she did have some good ones. She was not judgmental. She had a great heart. She liked to volunteer at homeless shelters and she did a lot of church charity work which was awesome. Even being the atheist that I am I liked to accompany her and help out for her church's good causes. She is a great person.
But even so, that didn't stop us from splitting apart. The reason we ended up ceasing to be is because I was changing as a person and she caught onto that, but at the same time she didn't want to evolve. She was habitually stuck in her familial and mental situation and she didn't want to leave the shade of the shire and venture. So the decision was made to cease being Sarah-and-Mike.
But every time I watch that movie I think of her and probably will continue to do so.
***********
edited to say: Fifteen minutes goes by so fast when one is writing. Jeez............
I love the movie High Fidelity. The book is great but the the movie combined with the soundtrack is ridiculous.
At the same time I hate the movie. It brings around a part of my life where I, of course, had a bad relationship. Wait, stop. It was not a bad relationship per se, it was just--weird.
I had been dating a girl named Sarah. Wonderful girl. She was one of those Mom-Would-Want-Me-To-Bring-Her-Home-And-Show-Her-Off types of girls. She is smart. She is funny in a Naive-Wisconsin-Girl type of ways. Great looking lady. Just a peach. But at the same time she never really became comfortable which is sad in my opinion because if she had I believe we would have lasted for a while. Even possibly still be together today (which would have saved me from the Jessica debacle, but that's a whole other can of suck.)
Our first date was to go see that movie. It was a double date because she was fairly uncomfortable being around a guy by herself. She had to have one of her friends with her. I had a friend of mine, Jason, take her friend, Whatever The Fuck Her Name Is, to go see the movie with us.
Nice dinner beforehand. Nothing fancy, but it was nice. Good to sit around and just bullshit with a couple of cute girls and my "brother."
We get to the movie and I realize in the first thirty minutes of this movie that she was not enjoying herself. Maybe it was just that she had only been single for three months when the previous relationship she was in lasted for five years. Maybe she just did not like the movie. Maybe she had gas. I dunno.
What I do know is that she was not affectionate around people. By ourselves (after she realized that I'm not a threat, just weird) she was a touchy-feely and she showed a side to her that not many people have seen. She had been with one other guy and that was the person she had broken up with a few months prior.
In public though, she was a stone. She didn't like to hold hands or kiss or give each other those cutesy pat-on-the-butt signs of affection that I hold so dear. She didn't talk much and was just shy around other people. It aggravated me. Not because she was shy in public, but because she was just closed off to people who were not in her circle.
She had huge trust issues and she learned this behaviour from from the other guy. He was abusive and he kept his "Prized Possession" to himself. She didn't go out with friends. She didn't associate with anybody without him. She was closed off to other people.
Then I opened her up a little. I helped her see that life should not be spent in a bubble of self-doubt. We had some fun times and we never argued about anything major. We had a great relationship, save for a few details that ultimately killed us as a couple.
First: No PDA. I didn't want to screw while we were walking around and I did not feel the need to be attached to her mouth on a continuous basis. I just wanted to show the world that I cared for her and she cared for me. Around her family it was cool. We did give small family-friendly sings of affection but around everybody else it was almost nothing.
Second: She was too family oriented. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing to want to spend time with Mom and Dad. I'm just asking that we not spend every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday with her parents (Sunday was reserved for her church for most of the day, the rest of the time we spent it with her parents.)
Third: She did not know how to express herself--at all. If she was happy, no sign. Sad, no sign. Angry, no sign. I'm not speaking about her life experiences because she had no problem having me listen to her while she ached on about her life, which I didn't mind. That's what I'm there for. I just want to know how her day had gone without it being just "OK" or "Fine" or "So-so." Details, hon. That's all I'm asking. I don't need an hour-by-hour account. Just a little sign that she was alive and had feelings.
For all of her bad (well, not bad but definitely awkwardly quirky) habits she did have some good ones. She was not judgmental. She had a great heart. She liked to volunteer at homeless shelters and she did a lot of church charity work which was awesome. Even being the atheist that I am I liked to accompany her and help out for her church's good causes. She is a great person.
But even so, that didn't stop us from splitting apart. The reason we ended up ceasing to be is because I was changing as a person and she caught onto that, but at the same time she didn't want to evolve. She was habitually stuck in her familial and mental situation and she didn't want to leave the shade of the shire and venture. So the decision was made to cease being Sarah-and-Mike.
But every time I watch that movie I think of her and probably will continue to do so.
***********
edited to say: Fifteen minutes goes by so fast when one is writing. Jeez............