ms

I went to Long Beach over the weekend and was having a great time until last night. At about 2 in the morning I was coming down the I-10 East, about 30 miles outside of Phoenix, when the semi-rig in front of me swerved out of the way to the left. The car in front of her lost control and flipped. I was doing about 75 when I came up on this. The truck managed to serve out of the way just in time for me to see the car roll over into the dirt. I pulled off to the side of the road and u-turned on the shoulder.

I keep the car on and have my lights on the vehicle that just flipped. I call 911 and they say that there is somebody calling in on the accident. I run to the car and see one person inside the car. His name is Gabriel and he is from El Paso, TX. He was on his way back from Cali. He said there were three other people in the car with him. He was the only person in the car. I tell him to just sit in the car and wait until i get back. In the dirt there is a girl face-down on her stomach. Her legs are twisted around as if she was born with them facing the wrong way. I ask her if she hurts and she says her legs and her stomach hurt. I run back to my car and grab my bag full of clothes. I make a pillow out of some of my shirts for her. I see another kid just walking around. I run to him and he has blood all over his face and both of his eyes are closed. I take off my overshirt and tell him to hold it while I take him to the girl. I use the shirt to lead him (I would have grabbed his hand or arm but I didn't have any gloves) to the girl. The trucker is there with the girl now. She is trying to comfort the girl. I tell the kid to sit down. I find out later that he is 18 years old.

I look a little down the road and I see a body in the middle of the road. I run to the body and see that it's the driver. His head is bleeding and there is blood pooling under his body. I talk to the driver. His name is Ben. The top of his skull is facing me and there is blood running all over the place. Ben is actually talking to me during this. He says his arm hurts. I ask him if he is hurting anywhere else. He says no. One of the driver's from the cars on the side of the road comes over. The lady starts crying right in front of this kid. This kid's scalp is smeared on the road and she just starts crying in front of him. I tell her to stay and talk to Ben and to stop crying and to tell him that he is going to be okay. Ben is not going to be okay. I go to each and every person that was in that car and I make sure to let them know that everybody is okay.

Everybody is able to talk to me even though they are suffering pain I have never had to go through. Ben didn't have on a seat belt. The little girl didn't have on a seat belt. The other kid didn't have on a seat belt. Gabriel was the only person wearing his seat belt and his worst injury so far looks to be that he cut up his arm on the broken glass.

I feel like a fucking asshole. I've been here for about three minutes and all I can do is make fucking pillows for these kids out of my clothes and lie to them and tell them that they are going to be okay.

A patrol car pulls up. Then another. Within seven minutes there are ambulances and patrol cars and fire trucks and everybody is attending to the people who were in the car. A sherriff comes up to me and asks me who I am and where I was when the accident occured. I tell him what I saw. he says I can leave.

I drive away and when i'm about 10 miles from my house it finally catches up to me. I have to pull of to the side of the road. I can't stop crying. I get home and one of my roommates is still up. All he can do is sit there for a half-hour while I cry and tell him what happened. I'm the first person to reach the accident yet I'm probably the person who was able to do the least. I have never felt as fucking useless as I did at the accident.

Now I can't fall asleep because if I do I'm going to have nightmares. Some kid probably died last night and I'm worried about going to sleep because I don't want to see him again. I am a fucking asshole.