Tonight's journal is long and full of me bitching. Just a warning.
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So I come home Friday night and my roommate is under the sink drilling a hole into the wall because we had planned on adding a new shelf under the sink. So I walk in, put down my stuff, and change to help him with the project and right when I walk in the kitchen I get hit with a freaking stream of water. turns out that that he drilled a hole right into a copper water pipe. Nice, Tony. Way to go. So after we clean up the flood in the kitchen we head over to the trusty Wal-Mart to buy new pipes and shit. Eight hours later we now have new plumbing.
I get to bed at around five and wake up at nine to go help a lady from work paint the doors in her house. Now, I like to help people and all but this bitch is ridiculous. I was under the impression we would paint a few doors and that would be it. Oh no. Fuck that plan. First off, she buys latex and wants me to put it over a gloss. Imagine trying to paint an ice cube with thick olive oi. That's what it's like. So before we start I tell her that we cannot do this. We have to strip the doors of the original paint first. That is a bitch when you can't use thinner because of her asthma. So I tell her if she rents a sander I will take the paint off of the doors for her. I tell her it has to be a fast, strong, big-assed sander. She informs me that she has one. I already know that if the rest of this good samaritan session is any indication this sander will blow dick. Lo and behold, it's a fucking tiny-assed sander that wouldn't scratch my ass. She begs me to try and sand the door. Half an hour later I have one side sanded. I tell her I'm not going to do this. Either get some thinner or buy some new doors. Then she farts. That was pretty disgusting. So I spent three hours of my day arguing with a fifty-six year old lady about how we should paint her doors. Fuck.
So then I come home and shower because for the next three hours I'm going to spend my time going to tuxedo shops looking for a tux for my roommates wedding. This was actually cool because it only took two hours and I got to hit on a fucking ridiculously hot nineteen year-old girl who has a great set of breasts. Freaking perfect. And when I was done flirting I just left. No trying to get the number or anything. It was just pure innocent flirtation and it felt great.
So then I go to my first of three Halloween parties. I walk in and everyone loves the vagina costume. They love it too much. The next person who calls me a big pussy and tries to dry-fuck me is going to receive an ass kicking. It wasn't that so much as the fact that there was one person at the party who I really do not like and he made it a point to try and fuck me the whole the time I was there. I should have just wasted his ass and got it over with. He's just one of those guys who is full of shit and a real annoyance. But his sister. lordy lordy, I kissed on the mouth more than a few times tonight. She's the total opposite of him and is freaking hot for a thirty-two year old. Too bad she's married. Oh well, only two more parties to wear my Giant Vagina to and then I can retire it to a watery grave. Plus side, I will soon have a pic to put in my profile. Me in a vagina costume. Wicked.
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So I come home Friday night and my roommate is under the sink drilling a hole into the wall because we had planned on adding a new shelf under the sink. So I walk in, put down my stuff, and change to help him with the project and right when I walk in the kitchen I get hit with a freaking stream of water. turns out that that he drilled a hole right into a copper water pipe. Nice, Tony. Way to go. So after we clean up the flood in the kitchen we head over to the trusty Wal-Mart to buy new pipes and shit. Eight hours later we now have new plumbing.
I get to bed at around five and wake up at nine to go help a lady from work paint the doors in her house. Now, I like to help people and all but this bitch is ridiculous. I was under the impression we would paint a few doors and that would be it. Oh no. Fuck that plan. First off, she buys latex and wants me to put it over a gloss. Imagine trying to paint an ice cube with thick olive oi. That's what it's like. So before we start I tell her that we cannot do this. We have to strip the doors of the original paint first. That is a bitch when you can't use thinner because of her asthma. So I tell her if she rents a sander I will take the paint off of the doors for her. I tell her it has to be a fast, strong, big-assed sander. She informs me that she has one. I already know that if the rest of this good samaritan session is any indication this sander will blow dick. Lo and behold, it's a fucking tiny-assed sander that wouldn't scratch my ass. She begs me to try and sand the door. Half an hour later I have one side sanded. I tell her I'm not going to do this. Either get some thinner or buy some new doors. Then she farts. That was pretty disgusting. So I spent three hours of my day arguing with a fifty-six year old lady about how we should paint her doors. Fuck.
So then I come home and shower because for the next three hours I'm going to spend my time going to tuxedo shops looking for a tux for my roommates wedding. This was actually cool because it only took two hours and I got to hit on a fucking ridiculously hot nineteen year-old girl who has a great set of breasts. Freaking perfect. And when I was done flirting I just left. No trying to get the number or anything. It was just pure innocent flirtation and it felt great.
So then I go to my first of three Halloween parties. I walk in and everyone loves the vagina costume. They love it too much. The next person who calls me a big pussy and tries to dry-fuck me is going to receive an ass kicking. It wasn't that so much as the fact that there was one person at the party who I really do not like and he made it a point to try and fuck me the whole the time I was there. I should have just wasted his ass and got it over with. He's just one of those guys who is full of shit and a real annoyance. But his sister. lordy lordy, I kissed on the mouth more than a few times tonight. She's the total opposite of him and is freaking hot for a thirty-two year old. Too bad she's married. Oh well, only two more parties to wear my Giant Vagina to and then I can retire it to a watery grave. Plus side, I will soon have a pic to put in my profile. Me in a vagina costume. Wicked.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
ms:
Bye bye Inara....
ms:
Oh...she's back.....Hello Inara...punkass