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Hey guys. It's been forever since I posted something on here. Actually it's been forever since I posted anything anywhere so I guess I shouldn't feel too bad for neglecting this place. Except for my SGAZ peeps. I hate the fact that I can't get together with them but work and trying to get into the field is kind of taking up a large part of my time right now. Sorry guys.

I guess the time I'm putting into getting out of the alarm room and into the field is not being wasted considering there are some guys (and one lady) out there are starting to know who I am--well--at least more than they knew me before. Which was not at all.

Trying to get hired to work the field and fight fires and treat the medical emergencies (which is freaking awesome to say the least) is hard freaking work. It doesn't help that I don't have family on the job. It's so much easier to get hired on if one's dad or mom is a Chief or Captain. Everybody knows the family at that time and for the most part they have seen said person grow up so they have an affinity for them (usually, sometimes they know the person is a douche but hire them anyways because--well--nepotism rules in the fire dept.)

But those people who have the luxury of getting in easy also sometimes don't appreciate it. They go in with attitudes because of who their family is and it shows. At the least they're treated with a mild disdain and it makes their job life a little harder. But there are those who are genuinely cool people and they know how the pecking order goes.

As for me, I'm no longer the lowly chick in the roost. Everybody at work knows I can do my job most awesomely and they give me a wide berth. Nobody breathes down my neck (save for a few people who just have their issues and treat most people like ass) and they just let me do what I do best. The new people also trust me which is awesome. I was told this by the person who trains all of the FNGs (Fucking New Guys.) She said that she appreciates me making the transition from classroom to alarm room easier for them. I know hard it is to be the new person. New people get yelled at. People jump on them for every little thing they do wrong. It's that way because we work in an environment where the mistakes are what kill people. The mistakes are what burn down houses. The mistakes are what fuck everything up and when things get fucked up the most awful shit happens. One learns to either deal with it or they let it get them down and it fucks with their head and they wash out. I don't know how many times I wanted to leave that room. Just flip everybody off, throw the entire Country A-L rack into the street and go work at the Virgin Megastore. But I didn't and I'm a stronger and better person for it.

I've developed a pretty thick emotional skin working there. I used to freak when I heard of people having a heart attack or a stroke. When people were choking I used to bug the fuck out and would become totally absorbed in the situation. That hardly happens anymore. I can give instructions on how to dislodge the food so the person can breathe and I can give CPR instructions to make sure the patient is, at the very least, workable for the fire units when they arrive at the scene. I can tell somebody who has no prior knowedge of any first techniques how to stop a cut wrist from bleeding out so they can transported to the hospital and get the proper care. I do it all without breaking a sweat or getting sucked into the drama. I can stone face like a motherfucker.

I recently had a baby who just stopped breathing. A healthy two-week old kid just stopped breathing and when her parents called they were losing it. Cyanosis had set in (she had turned blue.) Her parents weren't prepared for this. Her mom had been holding her when it happened. The kid stiffened up and then nothing. She just went limp. Her dad calls in and he's hysterical. I 'm having a hrd time getting to do anything. The mom is just screaming in the background and all the dad can say is "Help my baby." I

'm not getting through to him at all and I just finally tell him that I can't do anything for his baby because I'm not there but he can. I need him to be my hands. He takes the kid away from the mom who proceeds to start hitting him. He tells her to sit down because he's gonna save their baby. He agrees and after that I just zone.

Textbook instructions. He follows my directions perfectly. Two small breaths, thumbs in the nipple line and squeeze her thirty times. Two more breaths, thirty more compressions. We do this for about five minutes until the firefighters get on scene and take over. I get a call about an hour later and it's Captain off of the engine who went there. He called to thank me. He says when they got in the kid was pinking up. Not fully breathing on her own but her dad kept her blood and oxygen going enough that when they got her to hospital she was totally pink and slightly responsive. He said he has no idea what I said to get the guy to work his kid so well but whatever it was saved her. As soon as they took they took her from him he lost it again. I could hear it over the phone and the Captain said that they were both emotional wrecks when they were packaging her up. it doesn't always work out like that but when it does it's another reminder of why I do what I do.

I wish I could remember their address so I could send her a present on her first birthday. No name. No return address. Just a teddy bear and a card saying Happy Birthday. I hope she turns out to be a kickass person.