It seems I am back faster than I thought! That is thanks FIRST to lilli and aldremech, who were wonderful in letting me get out my frustration and giving me the support and love that I needed. Thanks you two!
Second but certainly not any less important to me I got some of the best messages I have ever read!! It was almost like you all were in one room together sending me messages!! They all touched me so very much in different way but I need to tell you all a part of one:
"I don't know any of the details, but I know that this is not like you, dear. You have never struck me as the type to run from something that is bothering you. You seem to have faced quite a bit of adversity over the past several months, but you ALWAYS find a way, through strength and willpower."
and ya know what? The light bulb went off in my head. You see I was so bored in class tonight that I had more time than normal to sit and think. I first thought about the whole situation and how it started and how it ended and I realized that I feel NO guilt. I did the right thing and sometimes that hurts, but pain eases over time. THEN I realized that if someone was gonna treat me in such a way that I was better off NOW! I am in a MUCH better place and MUCH happier!! My life is starting to go in the direction that I have wanted for years. Why the hell would I give a person that kind of power over me? The kind of power that makes me cry and not feel safe IN MY FUCKING SAFE PLACE!!!??
My friend was right, I AM strong. I HAVE faced quite a bit of adversity, and I HAVE found a way!
SO ya know what? Although I AM still gonna be taking some ME time, I am by NO MEANS leaving the site! I am not taking a break and I am not hating people either. I am just gonna BE.
I have a great new job, and I have a fantastic man that I am looking forward to going to see in 32 DAYS! I dont need to be worrying about the bullshit.
So in honor of something I said above I have a youtube video for you all. I havent been able to get the last line of the video out of my head all damn evening. Yes its a cheesy movie but I love it anyway!!!
I mean honestly, I should get MAD kudos for quoting this damn movie!!
ok I dont wanna talk about this anymore. I wanna move on and just BE!
I know I said it before but...32 more days 32 more days 32 more days 32 more days!!
Sounds silly but we might spend the entire 41/2 days in the airport. I cant see me wanting to move from the spot where I get my first hug!
