Friday Sep 12, 2008

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Today, or yesterday rather, I miss my grandparents most.

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My mom got divorced from my abusive sperm donor when I was 7 months old. We moved to NM and lived with my grandparents until I was 9. My grandfather was a retired full Colonel and my grandmother, who never worked outside of raising 4 kids, were the major influences in my life. At age 9 my mom and i moved out, yet I still stayed with my grandparents OFTEN. They both were aware of my moms "mental health" and so I always looked at them like parents, and my mom a big sister.
Growing up I would hear the "grown ups" talking about the military and what my grandfather had experienced. I learned a GREAT admiration for the military, even tho I always wished there wasnt a need.
When 9 11 happened I was completely devastated. I seem to take on the sadness and stress of the world, which has prevented me from watching the news. When I found out, I promptly threw up, and than didnt get out of bed for a week, which caused me to loose my job.
So today is one of those days that not only do I think of the men and women that protect my home and those I care about, each individual soul that we lost that day, but I think about the two wonderful people that have given me the attributes that I love about myself. My strength, that I think I dont have. My compassion for anyone or anything in need. My sense of morals, even when I flirt with trashing them, and my complete and total awe and respect I have for the military.

So to my grandparents on this day, I would like to say I love you. You did your best to teach me well and every day I try to make you proud. I hope one day I will feel that you are proud of your "daughter" and that you look at me and KNOW that you did the best job you could.
RIP both of you.


sorry about the bad pic, its late and i am tired.
Isnt she beautiful? Gawd I always said it I looked HALF as beautiful as she did or was HALF the person that they were I wasnt doin too bad! smile



sigh sorry. I probably should have warned you about that before!
If you made it thru than thank you, thats a little about me that I dont normally post.

Work was so tiring! I cant wait to get on the phones!

I gauged my ears last night. Let me give you some info and please pay attention.
NEVER EVER GAUGE YOU EARS WITH ACRYLIC OR SILICONE!!!!!
Acrylic absorbes the bacteria from your body and releases it back in to give ya a nice infection.
But SILICONE? What I gauged with? This can cause Necrosis!! I had no idea and luckily I was in a lot of pain and called a fantastic piercer who told me to get my diabetic ass to the shop so he could take them out.
I should tell you that I never yelp or scream when I am getting a tattoo or piercing or even at the doctor.
Yaaa I yelled.
Its better now. I have a pair of new pretty Pyrex plugs in and almost $60 later (which I really cant afford right now) I am better.
A very expensive lesson!!

OK so I am pretty winded from talking, errr typing so much so I am gonna end this.

I am still excited to go to Arizona!
I hear I have 40 days to wait tho and am surprised I didnt calculate that myself! surreal
This is gonna be hard!

kiss
Pisces

VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
nina_kova:
what a great post....it's amazing the people that touch and influence our lives. i think you have done them proud! kiss
faetree:
I love that picture of your grandparents, yes your grandmother is very beautiful. (but then so are you)..sometimes I think a day to remember people you love is nice, kind of bitter sweet..umm I mean..oh I dont really know blush
Umm I don't think I have seen American psycho..but I definitely have heard about it..umm, scary stuff..though I think sometimes i feel a bit like that too. i am not hugely tolerant of people..hmm.

Wow, a week has gone by since our comment..I dont think I have been spending as much time on here as I used to..which is both a good and bad thing.
Such a lovely day here today i think I am going to go out and get another coffee.

xxx

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