Right, so I just posted a blog but apparently I'm not making werewolves happen anymore so I figured I'd blog about my shitty life for a bit.
I'm in a really horrible place right now with the one that I love dearly. I'll try and keep this short. Okay probably not, but it's one helluva story that escalates pretty damn quickly..
Basically, over the past few months I've noticed my boyfriend never leaves his cellphone unattended with me. He'll go to obvious lengths to make sure that either I don't have open access to his phone, or it's turned off.
A handful of times I've called him on it, asking him why he felt it necessary to pick up his phone when he's going to the bathroom, or why when his phone buzzes in his pocket he doesn't bother to check his message.
I've always been uncomfortable with this, because face it, that looks bizarre.
He and I have had issues in the past, like him texting a female coworker when he told me he was texting his sister. On another occasion, he left me his laptop to use one day only to have not logged out of msn and his ex girlfriend sent a really excited all caps text to him (which at first he tried to act surprised about, then told me they 'ran into eachother' the other day and exchanged emails).
I've had insecurity issues in the past, but I've grown up very much in 5 years. I told him I don't give a rats ass who he talks to, as long as he doesn't lie to me.
ANYways.. Friday we were all out drinking, and we wetn to his place after the bar. His phone vibrated indicating a text message, then he said "I'm going to the bathroom", walked PASSED the bathroom right infront of him, and went to the one on the very top floor of his home. Wtf dude.
He comes down and I call him on hiding something, and ask to see his phone. He hands it to me, and when I go to check his inbox, the entire phone has been deleted of all incoming and outgoing texts. Fuking guy, I swear, tells me he didn't delete anything in those 5 minutes and acts like I'm being crazy.
We start yelling at eachother because I'm telling him to stop treating me like a fucking idiot, and he's getting super defensive. So being that I'm drunk, think it's appropriate for me to whip his phone across the room, and the battery flies out, and he freaks out some more. We fight for like another 10 minutes, then I decide I want another look at his phone.
I pop the battery back in and his phone receives another text: "hey you have to stop calling me, it's late and i'm sleeping on the couch and don't want to wake anyone up"
The text is from someone not in his address book, so I call it. I get the voicemail box of his ex, the same girl that sent the msn message several months ago.
Shit hits the fan, I write her number down and tell him I'm going to call her tomorrow to get to the bottom of this.
This is when we proceed to get physical. He tries to get the number back by snatching it from me, I get it back and push him, and he ends up ontop of me on his bed holding my arms back to get the god damned number back, ripping my earring out in the process. He gets it back and rips it up infront of my face, telling me I can't harass his friends.
I'm balling at this point, and run out of his house in a skirt and high heels at 3:30am and start running down the street. I ended up meeting a friend and crying into his lap for like 3 hours and didn't sleep until last night.
We spoke tonight, and things weren't good. He was like "Well clearly we both know whats going to happen now so I'll have your things together soon and you can get my stuff together". What the FUCK ?!!
You're not going to apologize? Not going to tell me that you love me and want to prove to me you can treat me better??
Nooo. I end up the pathetic little girl thats crying, saying that I wish we could make things work.
He told me that he lied to me about this girl because he knew I'd be mad (??!), but they're
just friends that talk about video games and stuff" and she "totally knows about you".
Idiot.
So I took it upon myself to send her a private message on facebook, which was easy to do since we have mutual friends and even though I don't know her last name to look her up her first name is that of a really nasty shade of brown that noone else I know has, so I found her really quickly.
I was as nice as pie, telling her who I was and for how long I've been with said boyfriend, and that if she thinks there's anything I need to know about her communications with him (since I'm unsure if she actually knows I exist), that I've be forever grateful, since I'm completely in the dark.
Come on, women unite for Christs' sake and just TELL ME.
Why am I SO stupid. The whole thing is so fucked. We decided we're not going to talk for a bit so we can think about things and be in touch in a week or whenever.
I hate him SO much for this, especially for breaking my heart and then being the one to decide the fate of our relationship.
I should be the one to decide that. Even if I make a stupid decision, it should be my choice to make. He doesn't deserve that.
Holy shit, I just realized how long this blog is- I'm sorry guys! I bet most of you tuned out about halfway through this crazy story.
So now I'm left feeling shattered and ugly and pathetic and abandoned.
This blows.
Now you can see why I can't talk about how amazing my roadtrip was- because HE was there.
I'll at least add a photo of me having a good time, before I became an emotional zombie.
xo
I'm in a really horrible place right now with the one that I love dearly. I'll try and keep this short. Okay probably not, but it's one helluva story that escalates pretty damn quickly..
Basically, over the past few months I've noticed my boyfriend never leaves his cellphone unattended with me. He'll go to obvious lengths to make sure that either I don't have open access to his phone, or it's turned off.
A handful of times I've called him on it, asking him why he felt it necessary to pick up his phone when he's going to the bathroom, or why when his phone buzzes in his pocket he doesn't bother to check his message.
I've always been uncomfortable with this, because face it, that looks bizarre.
He and I have had issues in the past, like him texting a female coworker when he told me he was texting his sister. On another occasion, he left me his laptop to use one day only to have not logged out of msn and his ex girlfriend sent a really excited all caps text to him (which at first he tried to act surprised about, then told me they 'ran into eachother' the other day and exchanged emails).
I've had insecurity issues in the past, but I've grown up very much in 5 years. I told him I don't give a rats ass who he talks to, as long as he doesn't lie to me.
ANYways.. Friday we were all out drinking, and we wetn to his place after the bar. His phone vibrated indicating a text message, then he said "I'm going to the bathroom", walked PASSED the bathroom right infront of him, and went to the one on the very top floor of his home. Wtf dude.
He comes down and I call him on hiding something, and ask to see his phone. He hands it to me, and when I go to check his inbox, the entire phone has been deleted of all incoming and outgoing texts. Fuking guy, I swear, tells me he didn't delete anything in those 5 minutes and acts like I'm being crazy.
We start yelling at eachother because I'm telling him to stop treating me like a fucking idiot, and he's getting super defensive. So being that I'm drunk, think it's appropriate for me to whip his phone across the room, and the battery flies out, and he freaks out some more. We fight for like another 10 minutes, then I decide I want another look at his phone.
I pop the battery back in and his phone receives another text: "hey you have to stop calling me, it's late and i'm sleeping on the couch and don't want to wake anyone up"
The text is from someone not in his address book, so I call it. I get the voicemail box of his ex, the same girl that sent the msn message several months ago.
Shit hits the fan, I write her number down and tell him I'm going to call her tomorrow to get to the bottom of this.
This is when we proceed to get physical. He tries to get the number back by snatching it from me, I get it back and push him, and he ends up ontop of me on his bed holding my arms back to get the god damned number back, ripping my earring out in the process. He gets it back and rips it up infront of my face, telling me I can't harass his friends.
I'm balling at this point, and run out of his house in a skirt and high heels at 3:30am and start running down the street. I ended up meeting a friend and crying into his lap for like 3 hours and didn't sleep until last night.
We spoke tonight, and things weren't good. He was like "Well clearly we both know whats going to happen now so I'll have your things together soon and you can get my stuff together". What the FUCK ?!!
You're not going to apologize? Not going to tell me that you love me and want to prove to me you can treat me better??
Nooo. I end up the pathetic little girl thats crying, saying that I wish we could make things work.
He told me that he lied to me about this girl because he knew I'd be mad (??!), but they're
just friends that talk about video games and stuff" and she "totally knows about you".
Idiot.
So I took it upon myself to send her a private message on facebook, which was easy to do since we have mutual friends and even though I don't know her last name to look her up her first name is that of a really nasty shade of brown that noone else I know has, so I found her really quickly.
I was as nice as pie, telling her who I was and for how long I've been with said boyfriend, and that if she thinks there's anything I need to know about her communications with him (since I'm unsure if she actually knows I exist), that I've be forever grateful, since I'm completely in the dark.
Come on, women unite for Christs' sake and just TELL ME.
Why am I SO stupid. The whole thing is so fucked. We decided we're not going to talk for a bit so we can think about things and be in touch in a week or whenever.
I hate him SO much for this, especially for breaking my heart and then being the one to decide the fate of our relationship.
I should be the one to decide that. Even if I make a stupid decision, it should be my choice to make. He doesn't deserve that.
Holy shit, I just realized how long this blog is- I'm sorry guys! I bet most of you tuned out about halfway through this crazy story.
So now I'm left feeling shattered and ugly and pathetic and abandoned.
This blows.
Now you can see why I can't talk about how amazing my roadtrip was- because HE was there.
I'll at least add a photo of me having a good time, before I became an emotional zombie.
xo
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are u from T.O missyy?