mrschainsaw

It feels like everything I'm working towards is in vain. I'm sick of "paying dues" only to face more uncertainty.

I have an idea of what I want, but it seems so far away that I don't even know what the point is.

I don't want to rush things and fuck it up, but how much longer can I wait?

Maybe the grass isn't greener, but right now it would feel really nice to work as hard as I have, and get something immediate in return. I hate that I think that because I know that I've been conditioned to think like that by our profit-driven society, but sometimes immediate gratification is all that counts.

I worked really hard this term, and I got the grades I deserve, but the novelty has already worn off. I have one more year of this. The ironic part is that I would stay in school forever to avoid looking for a job. Why else would I go during the summer?

There's my confession - I remain static so that nothing changes, even though change is the one thing I really want.
xo
stellar