mrs_misha

Warning Super long post.. If you are interested, grab a coffee and a snack and read on...

As many of my friends on here might have noticed I have been socially MIA. Those who do see me come to my home. I have become a bit of a shut in..I didn't mean to, it has just happened. I know my husband has been a bit concerned about me folding in on myself. I did it before when we were in New Orleans and he has been seeing it happening again. I have been feeling horribly overwhelmed and everything has just seemed too much. with each new thing weighing me down a bit more. Nothing horrible is happening, just a bit more financial stress, that for some reason my body has been reacting to it out of proportion to it's severity.. But I think I have figured out the" WHY" and am working on the solution.

I have a client who is a psychologist and we were talking about a number of thing while I tattooed her. She suggested that I look into "Highly Sensitive Person self test" I did and out of 27 question.. I got 23 ! I went a bought the book about HSP. I learned alot but in reality it had little to help me with solutions for my problem.... What I got from it was this... I am not crazy, if most peoples senses go from 1 to 10 and they are usually aware at about an 8... my senses go from 1 (which is rare for me) to 11 and most of the time I am on 10. when under stress my senses become even more sensitive. bringing me up to 11. my hearing is way more acute ( I have had it tested and told this by a doctor), I taste more (which accounts for my love of food and aversion to some textures) , I am more sensitive to light, which can be a problem with glare. My touch sense can make me feel overwhelmed in a crowd. All of this has caused a great overload to my senses. The problem is that this book had all kinds of flaky new age ways of treating the problem oh and it told me to tell everyone about my problem so they can coddle me about it...I call bullshit on that, yes awareness is good for the general public, but in reality I need to deal with this in a way so I can function in everyday life without the world on eggshells around me..

At the time I bought the HSP book I also found a book that's title described my life in a nutshell
Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight: What to Do If You Are Sensory Defensive in an Overstimulating World. this may be the most amazing book I have ever read.. And I am only half way thru it. I am someone who is constantly feeling overwhelmed and irritated by environmental stimuli, to the point where others sometimes think I'm Touchy, neurotic and even slightly crazy. I now feel great sense of relief that there is actually a "name" for the confusing and painful feelings I have experienced my whole life.

The book starts with an overview on how the body works to interpret stimuli, how the senses work with each other and with the overall working of the body. I find it fascinating! I will put it in a nutshell.. Basically the senses tell us if we are in danger. If we are startled by a loud noise or some one sneaking up behind us or another stimuli, in most people the body will get the stimuli and immediately start flooding the body with fight or flight chemicals so we can react to this stimuli.. when the body discovers there is no real threat, is stops the production of these chemicals and returns it back to normal levels of thes chemicals. The person might feel a bit of a rush from the quick release of adrenalin and other chemicals but the body will bring itself back to normal levels. That's why roller coasters and haunted houses are fun for many people. You get the quick thrill of this feeling and then your body goes back to normal... but in a Sensory Defensive person the body may continue to pump these chemicals, even if the person is aware there is no real danger and the stimulis is removed. This will cause the person to feel tension , Anxiety, avoidence, agitation, anger and possibly even violence.. The sensory defensive may feel this anger, fight or flight and not know why... I have spent most of my life with this to varying degrees. It appears that stress in your life can make this worse and this can make the stress in your life worse.. Fun huh

For someone who can't quite get what the big deal would be.. imagine that you are stuck in traffic listening to music you hate way too loud while trying to talk to someone next to you that hasn't bathed for a week... your senses are so overloaded that you can't focus, you are frustrated and your adrenalin is pumping hard... you have a hard time controlling your anger and agitation and it keeps escalating. Now imagine if you had that all the time..

Not all HSP's are Sensory Defensive.. it may not cause the fight or flight chemicals to flow.. and many everyday people may suffer from some degree of Sensory Defensiveness.. Funny but I thought I had it bad.. I am only mildly to moderately Sensory Defensive.. From what I am reading in this book there are many who it can totally control every thing they do in their lives and make them a prisoner to it, I am glad I am not that bad off. Also Sensory Defensiveness can appear in those with ADHD and Autism..

The book has useful solutions too. No drugs can solve this problem.. you need to do it with some awareness of what is going on with your body and some occupational therapy. I am now reading this part.. amazing what can work.. So as I get better with this my friends, I will be out more.. I will be less crabby and anti social and I will enjoy m life more.. most importantly I now know that I am not just some overly sensitive freak... Yes my senses are sensitive but I can work with them and use them to my advantage..

I am sharing this mostly because if one person reads this and finds they they or some one they know might be sensory defensive, they might pick up this book..If one other person who has suffered like I have can get some help by buying this book it will be worth sharing my discovery. This book has changed my life for the better.