mro

Does anyone have a spare stomach knocking around? I need to replace mine because it is broken.

For the second time in the last 7 days I have serious tummy cramps and runny shits. I don't like it, moreso because I don't have a bidet at home. I last had the squits in a hotel room with en suite bidet, which meant I could gently wash my bum with warm water without any discomfort whatsoever.

I only have toilet paper at home and I may as well be wiping my tender arse with industrial grade sandpaper

Uh oh...

*gurgle*

...gotta go......