For whatever reason, I have never had a lot of friends. Rarely, i've been part of a group of friends, but that's not the norm for me at all; I don't know why. As a younger man I was impertinent, which can easily lead to lack of people who want to be around you, but as I've gotten older, I've made major changes in my life, and yet, i'm still turning people off from me. Don't mistake me, I have some great friends, and since I moved to PA, i've made some of the best friend (note the lack of pluralization) anyone could ask for, but I just don't get it. What is it about a person that turns you off from them? I have been told by many people that i'm funny, i think i'm alright looking, and i know i'm smart. Aren't those good traits in a friend? I mean i could list all the things that make me a good friend, but i'm not posting this in case you're a local and are looking for a goofy tall white guy for friendship. I've always felt like I was on the outside looking in, and this friendship thing is one that keeps me looking in from outside. Perhaps I'll never be that guy with a bunch of friends. I appreciate the people who are willing to call me friend and I count myself lucky that that number is more than one, but I guess I'd like an explanation. I won't try to change it, I just want to know why.
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I love you.