On Sunday night I watched the documentary on Netflix called "What The Health". Right away after watching it, even though it did not begin from a vegan angle, it has renewed my desire to give up meat for good.
I have been off and on again with my vegetarian diet. I mainly do not cook meat at home, but was a real milk lover, and cheese lover too. I didn't mind butter either, although I mainly used margarine. Even if people say it's horrible, more dangerous than butter could ever be. I have gone though phases of cooking meat and not. When I was a teenager of about 13, my family watched a doco called "McLibel", about a couple who were suing McDonald's over something or other. I think it was false advertising. I was horrified at the slaughter house practices, and that was when we all decided to become vegetarian. We were on a white meat only diet for a few years by that point. Mum had taken a vote, because she was interested in saving money, and was under the false impression, like many of us are under today, that chicken is less harmful to the body than red meat.
Currently, I am struggling vegan. I have been off eggs for 2 years, have not bought milk in 15 months, and no cheese for 10 months. I don't buy honey, butter, mayonnaise or any condiments or noodles containing egg. But when I go out, I am a slack vegan. I still become tempted to eat meat and take away, especially when I drink! It is terrible. I will eat it purely for convenience, it is the most flavourful thing on the menu, many times. I am still not a vegan who is interested in paying large amounts of money for menu items with parts removed from it. But after watching this film, I have a renewed sense of determination, for my own health benefit if anything. Even with everything I have learned about meat and dairy industry practices, health risks and what not, I am still learning more every time I watch one of these movies about how disgusting the meat industry is, and the toll it takes on the body. I have felt it too, after going vegan, purely vegan I mean, being well behaved for just a few weeks, I feel much better. And then if I go back and resort to eating a big meal with meat in it, it feels like a brick inside, I get sick right away with stomach cramps and end up constipated. I believe it is because meat takes 72 hours to pass through the system. I feel bloated and heavy and then have to do crazy poos after the hard work is done.
Recently I also decided to quit watching pornography, and I am going to confess now, it is much like my efforts to quit drinking alcohol or eating meat. I have now watched it a bit on the weekend. I can't help myself! But this week again, my determination has renewed, after a Facebook disagreement over women's rights, where I was asked if I watched porn, and when I refused to answer, it was taken as read that I do. So at least for my own peace of mind, I should leave it. I need to get a girlfriend or something. I went away to Spain and Greece last month, and had a blast. But I was too foolish to book a private room for myself on at least the Saturday night, we'll say. I haven't really picked up from the club, but I did make 2 separate lady friends, one in each destination, and I could have got some action if I was smart enough to get a room with some privacy. I did my best in the circumstances but it simply did not work.
Last weekend, interesting story, I went out on Friday with some guys from work. Free drinks from the boss, and several pints later, and a couple of shots, and I am totally tanked! Next thing I remember, after the night descends into a blur, is being in my flat, with a young woman, she is sitting on my bed, while I am struggling to pump up an air mattress. I am shuffling around, trying to get it to behave, it's very noisy, and there is shit everywhere on the floor. I then realise I don't know her name. I don't understand what is going on now, why is she here, if not to sleep in my bed with me? I don't understand. I decide to keep my confusion to myself. I give up, saying, we can sleep together in the bed, all good. Nothing has to happen. Joel just needs to sleep now. Sorry. She protests, but I lay down anyway, passing out shortly after. She has left me there, out in the street like she has somewhere else to sleep. That's how I thought of it the next day. I could not remember where we met or why she came home with me. I ask the guys at work and they tell me I met her in the street, while we were walking, and we left within 10 minutes of meeting each other, for my place. Go Joel! Fast forward a few days to the next Wednesday, and I have pulled back my doona and found her ID card in my bed, along with her bank card and her Oyster card for the tube. WHAT?
I managed to find her on Facebook, after 15 minutes of scrolling, and contact her. She writes back on Friday night. Apologising for being so horrible to me. I say no, it's ok. It's my fault. Because I felt like I had disappointed her, being so drunk. She says she found me passed out in the gutter! How could this be? Could both stories be true?? She says, she found me there, took me home, then felt tired. She demanded I let her sleep in my bed, and told me to pump up the air mattress, and left after she realised it was a stupid idea. I told her what they guys said, and she responds, oh, I don't know. Maybe it is my drunk brain. WHAT? Why tell me that, if you don't know? I met her the next day and gave her stuff back. She is still apologising profusely, and seems very nervous. I am 30 and she is 20. I am so confused, I return to work this Monday, asking the guys to confirm her identity, and the said yes, that's the girl! What a relief to know I was never passed out in the street! I don't know if I will be seeing her again. She seems really nice and all, apart from the obvious. But she is a bit young for me, and I am interested in someone else as well now. I went on a date which wasn't a date with a lady I met at a Dillinger concert in February. She came to watch me do comedy twice but then told me she was seeing someone. We went out for a drink in the park and a burrito. It was the first time I have had a good chance to really talk with her, the concert was loud and comedy nights are not a great place for conversation. And I dumped some acid before I went, and she was cool with that! We are planning to do some together this weekend, but she might be bringing a guy friend along. That's ok. I will still get to see her and no doubt I will be the centre of attention again, as usual! Never say no, that is my thinking. She said she already had plans with him to do something this weekend, but he likes drugs as well so might be interested in coming along. I think she likes me anyway, it is a good sign. Only thing I hope is that she does not cancel to go out with him instead. Wish me luck!