mrcrisp

i want to delete all her pictures. i couldn't possibly care less about her right now, give less of a shit as i already do. i'm pooped, tired of dealing with this. i was over her a week ago. but i can't look at her pictures without feeling everything at once. what's worse is that i know i did nothing wrong. all i've ever heard from her is how terrific i am, how perfect i am. and then she disappears for a week, coming back just long enough to tell me that she's not ready. so yeah, i'm pretty much getting the impression that being a great guy is completely worthless and that putting any energy into any relationship is an utter waste of time. or maybe i'm just too awesome to handle. it's a shame, because i really dug her. now it's back to being an emotional vampire. i need sustenance.

also, i fucking hate having short hair.



fuck the navy.

i've been pretty low lately, but not because of her. i've been exercising more, and i quit drinking and smoking. i think it's because work is dragging me down; it's like my life. sure, i have days off, but it's only time to get ready to go back to work and they flash by so quickly the next thing i know i'm back at work, standing in the same room doing nothing important for another 12 hours straight. plus, all that medical shit that continues to go unresolved. and maybe i'm just anxious to go back to california. i can't wait.

the girl said to me the other day "it's hard being with somebody who doesn't enjoy anything in life." yeah, try being that guy. try walking a mile in my unexciting shoes.
i can't wait to be happy again.