Over the last couple days I pieced together some of the things that happened. It is kind of unnerving to wake up and you pocket contains 3 cigarette butts, an empty condom wrapper, a motel receipt and no cash. (I left with 300 in cash on me.)
I knew it was going to be a good night. I was getting gas before going to Mike's house and the wind blew a girl's skirt up. God bless women and short skirts on windy evenings. This was just the beginning. When we got to the first bar, Mike and his girltoy type person got out of the car. Once again the wind prevailed and her skirt was blown up. Much to my amusement many a horn started honking.
When we got into the bar there was a shitty cover band playing. This caused me to switch from beer to the hard stuff. I had decided since I wasn't driving in the next 8 hours, it was a good idea to drink 2 Jaegerbombs, a shot of Jack and have a gin and tonic in rapid sucession. From what I can piece together this put me in rare form with everyone around me.
You see, when you work in the business I do you meet a lot of shit talkers and smart asses. Imagine how nifty it is to get all these people in a bar together and they decide it is a good idea to rotate all the old beer out of the well. I was standing next to the bar thinking 'This is the shittiest rendition of Dream On I haver ever heard." I must have said it out loud because the girl at the bar next to me started laughing. I started chit chatting with her and the guys with me faded out to the other end. Next thing I know there is some guy tapping me on the shoulder. I love this type of person. He starts telling me how this is "his woman" and I should go elsewhere. You have probably seen this type of asshole out and about. He wears a polo shirt, khaki pants and flops to a bar. he thinks he is well equipped to start a fight with the tall skinny guy talking to his girlf friend at the bar. Never mind that one stomp on his foot from my steel toed engineer boots will give him stitches and make him cry like a 2 year old. It doesn't matter, He played football or some such ego boosting thing in high school and he is still a macho terror. My friend Bryan sensed the trouble and decided to hang out near by. He was the sober one. From what Brian tells me this guy grabbed me by the shirt and started yelling at me. He tells me that the hole time I just smiled and finally said, "If you don't take your hands off me I will knock all your teeth out and then strech your scrotum over your head." That is when the bouncer showed him and his girl friend the door. On their way out I was sure to blow him a kiss while he was cursing at me.
Tomorrow's update: The butts, the receipt and custom drinks.
I knew it was going to be a good night. I was getting gas before going to Mike's house and the wind blew a girl's skirt up. God bless women and short skirts on windy evenings. This was just the beginning. When we got to the first bar, Mike and his girltoy type person got out of the car. Once again the wind prevailed and her skirt was blown up. Much to my amusement many a horn started honking.
When we got into the bar there was a shitty cover band playing. This caused me to switch from beer to the hard stuff. I had decided since I wasn't driving in the next 8 hours, it was a good idea to drink 2 Jaegerbombs, a shot of Jack and have a gin and tonic in rapid sucession. From what I can piece together this put me in rare form with everyone around me.
You see, when you work in the business I do you meet a lot of shit talkers and smart asses. Imagine how nifty it is to get all these people in a bar together and they decide it is a good idea to rotate all the old beer out of the well. I was standing next to the bar thinking 'This is the shittiest rendition of Dream On I haver ever heard." I must have said it out loud because the girl at the bar next to me started laughing. I started chit chatting with her and the guys with me faded out to the other end. Next thing I know there is some guy tapping me on the shoulder. I love this type of person. He starts telling me how this is "his woman" and I should go elsewhere. You have probably seen this type of asshole out and about. He wears a polo shirt, khaki pants and flops to a bar. he thinks he is well equipped to start a fight with the tall skinny guy talking to his girlf friend at the bar. Never mind that one stomp on his foot from my steel toed engineer boots will give him stitches and make him cry like a 2 year old. It doesn't matter, He played football or some such ego boosting thing in high school and he is still a macho terror. My friend Bryan sensed the trouble and decided to hang out near by. He was the sober one. From what Brian tells me this guy grabbed me by the shirt and started yelling at me. He tells me that the hole time I just smiled and finally said, "If you don't take your hands off me I will knock all your teeth out and then strech your scrotum over your head." That is when the bouncer showed him and his girl friend the door. On their way out I was sure to blow him a kiss while he was cursing at me.
Tomorrow's update: The butts, the receipt and custom drinks.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
if we ever talk online then you might get some dirty messages.
i'll miss you!
take care dear.
i'll talk to you soon.