That was fun wasn't it? Like a freight train running over a Pinto. You just couldn't help yourself could you? For some of you this was the first story others this was one of a few. THe question is where do we go from here? How about a trip down memory lane.
When I was in high school AOL was just getting started. There wasn't a computer in every home. We had to do stupid shit to entertain ourselves. I was in a medival recreation group, played guitar in a band, played D&D, smoked a lot of weed and drank a lot. I didn't know more than about 5 peopl that didn't live in Tucson or Phoenix. So what do teenagers do on the weekend? We drive out into the desert with 2 kegs in the back of a pickup truck and have a big old party!
I have always been super shy. Especially when it comes to women. I know what you are thinking, "Mister Never Shuts the Fuck Up? Shy? Never." The internet is a whole different animal. I dont have to figure out what to say to you when I see you sitting at a bar or playing putt-putt or some other shit. You are pretty much a captive audience. You can either read this or not. It is your choice. The beautiful thing about this is. If you laugh at me or call me a dumb ass outloud. I don't hear it. I don't even have to worry about that happening because really you are not right here.
So, this one weekend we are out in the middle of the desert having a party. I had drank quite a bit and was stoned off my ass. We had just done one of these battle of the bands at the school and took 2nd. I was in a great mood. Nay, I felt invincible. I stood at the keg talking with one of my friends from school. We were talking about how the show went. He was telling me about how I should move around more when I play and that I should make eye contact with the audience. (Yeah right fucko that is gonna happen) From behind be I hear a voice chime in agreement. I turn around and see Crystal standing there.
I had such a crush on her for the entire school year. For all I knew she didn't even know I existed. (It turns out I was waayy wrong about more than one girl in school but that is a different story.) I just stood there. I felt like I was going to piss myself. My jaw worked, my chest got tight and my throat was dryer than the desert we were standing in. I took a drink of my beer and looked for my friend to say something and he was gone. Fucking bastard left me hangin. So I stood there for a second and asked her what she thought of the show. For a wonder the conversation started to flow. This then, that. After a while she told me she had to use the bathroom and asked me to hold her beer. I stood there with what I can only guess was a look of mystification on my face. She said "You know girls have all the same urges you boys do." And sehs walked off.
My friend returned and asked how it was going. I cursed him out for leaving me hangin like that when he knew about how shy I am. He laughed and made fun of me until Crystal returned. She took her beer from me and kissed me on the cheek. She told me she ran into the friends she came with and told them she was going to leave with me. I was shocked. "That's ok isn't it?" Brought me out of the semislumber I was falling into. I stammered out yes. She told me she would be right back she just wanted to tell them.
My friend returned again and asked me if he was getting a ride home from someone else. That is when it dawned on me. I was set up. getting me by the keg and talking to me. Bringing up the subject of the show. It was all planned out. He knew he was going to need a ride home in fact, he had plotted a new way home before we left the school. Then it happend.
The moonlight was shattered by a bright blinding light. And you could hear the helicopter coming lower to the ground. Fuckin cops. Everyone running to their cars. He grabbed me and yelled "Let's get the fuck out of here." So we ran to my car and go tthe hell out. Fuckin cops man. I tell you this was the worse cockblock in my entire life. How the hell do you compete with a police helicopter spotlight when you are underage and drinking?
Just so I don't leave the story hanging, It ends about how you would expect. We were in high school. She jumped in a car with a friend of a bandmate. They were going to find us but, the 2 of us in my car decided to call it a night. She hit it off so well with her ride that they started dating. In fact last I heard, about 4 years after high school they were still dating.
When I was in high school AOL was just getting started. There wasn't a computer in every home. We had to do stupid shit to entertain ourselves. I was in a medival recreation group, played guitar in a band, played D&D, smoked a lot of weed and drank a lot. I didn't know more than about 5 peopl that didn't live in Tucson or Phoenix. So what do teenagers do on the weekend? We drive out into the desert with 2 kegs in the back of a pickup truck and have a big old party!
I have always been super shy. Especially when it comes to women. I know what you are thinking, "Mister Never Shuts the Fuck Up? Shy? Never." The internet is a whole different animal. I dont have to figure out what to say to you when I see you sitting at a bar or playing putt-putt or some other shit. You are pretty much a captive audience. You can either read this or not. It is your choice. The beautiful thing about this is. If you laugh at me or call me a dumb ass outloud. I don't hear it. I don't even have to worry about that happening because really you are not right here.
So, this one weekend we are out in the middle of the desert having a party. I had drank quite a bit and was stoned off my ass. We had just done one of these battle of the bands at the school and took 2nd. I was in a great mood. Nay, I felt invincible. I stood at the keg talking with one of my friends from school. We were talking about how the show went. He was telling me about how I should move around more when I play and that I should make eye contact with the audience. (Yeah right fucko that is gonna happen) From behind be I hear a voice chime in agreement. I turn around and see Crystal standing there.
I had such a crush on her for the entire school year. For all I knew she didn't even know I existed. (It turns out I was waayy wrong about more than one girl in school but that is a different story.) I just stood there. I felt like I was going to piss myself. My jaw worked, my chest got tight and my throat was dryer than the desert we were standing in. I took a drink of my beer and looked for my friend to say something and he was gone. Fucking bastard left me hangin. So I stood there for a second and asked her what she thought of the show. For a wonder the conversation started to flow. This then, that. After a while she told me she had to use the bathroom and asked me to hold her beer. I stood there with what I can only guess was a look of mystification on my face. She said "You know girls have all the same urges you boys do." And sehs walked off.
My friend returned and asked how it was going. I cursed him out for leaving me hangin like that when he knew about how shy I am. He laughed and made fun of me until Crystal returned. She took her beer from me and kissed me on the cheek. She told me she ran into the friends she came with and told them she was going to leave with me. I was shocked. "That's ok isn't it?" Brought me out of the semislumber I was falling into. I stammered out yes. She told me she would be right back she just wanted to tell them.
My friend returned again and asked me if he was getting a ride home from someone else. That is when it dawned on me. I was set up. getting me by the keg and talking to me. Bringing up the subject of the show. It was all planned out. He knew he was going to need a ride home in fact, he had plotted a new way home before we left the school. Then it happend.
The moonlight was shattered by a bright blinding light. And you could hear the helicopter coming lower to the ground. Fuckin cops. Everyone running to their cars. He grabbed me and yelled "Let's get the fuck out of here." So we ran to my car and go tthe hell out. Fuckin cops man. I tell you this was the worse cockblock in my entire life. How the hell do you compete with a police helicopter spotlight when you are underage and drinking?
Just so I don't leave the story hanging, It ends about how you would expect. We were in high school. She jumped in a car with a friend of a bandmate. They were going to find us but, the 2 of us in my car decided to call it a night. She hit it off so well with her ride that they started dating. In fact last I heard, about 4 years after high school they were still dating.
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p.s. if you add bitch to anything it automatically adds 10 cool points