UPDATE: My boss has a hard on against us carrying phones at work. His boss is a friend of my family and yells at me when I don't bring it. Wanna piss off my boss? 815-XXX-4536. I won't have a signal if I am in a cooler but I will laugh if the phone rings for a voice message or phone call. Midnight - ? on Sunday. 9pm - ? Mon - Thurs.
I see some of you found my spam testimonials. Don't ask why, I was in an odd mood. Personally I keep all spam, even in my email. It makes it feel as though I do something other than sit here, play guitar, watch movies and listen to music. I WILL NOT be bothered in the least if you decide to delete them. Ididn't leave spam because I don't like you, I did it because sometimes words will escape me that wont sound all misplaced mushy or emo. Anyway on to last night.
I arrived at the HOB for the show and got in line. I know you are thinking "Wow, exciting!" Really though the drive there was uneventful. I just sat in the holiday traffic singing to the stereo.
Soil had a decent performance. If I were in that band, I wouldn't have been on the same bill as Disturbed. I mean really they are too much alike. I parked my narrow white ass next to the bar and was waiting for the bartender. I wanted the classic Zero drink. Sapphire and Tonic, 2 twists of lime. I noticed they were serving in plastic cups and threw that right out the window. Fuck that - glass or none. I settled on beer instead. I finished 3 during their set.
At the beginning of my 4th a guy comes on the stage. He is babbling about the Jagermeister tour and shit. I wasn't paying attention to what he said or who he was. He had an all over body tattoo of reptile skin. Then he asks if we want to stand here and scratch our asses or see some fucked up shit. Who am I to turn down fucked up shit. Really, I can scratch my ass and see fucked up shit at the same time, right? The dude pulls out a giant fish hook. Sitcks it through his nose and loops it through his mouth. I was thinking, awesome Jim Rose in the House. Pun intended. I must have said it out loud because the guy next to me started laughing. I look at him and his buddy and thought I was lookin at Hellboy from the movie Haggard. Do de doh. I never found out his name.
Corrosion of Conformity took the stage. I was suprised. I hadn't seen them since 1991. The did an awesome set. Who would have known they had it in them. The sound was awesome and I was able to put away 4 more beers. I thought about getting in the mosh pit that was going on, but didn't. I am too old for that shit. But only because it would be like going to a high school and picking a fight.
CoC ended their set and I was standing there sipping my beer and thinking. "Damn, maybe the key to having a normal night is don't bring anyone with me." The freak came out again, this time with an assistant. This time he had darts thrown into his back, put a condom up his nose then out his mouth, put a drill up his nose (see a theme yet?), then as a coup de gras he lifted a Jager tap machine up by his earlobes. Hmpf, wholesome entertainment I tell ya. Not to be out done by his boss, his assistant one uped him. He pulls 2 hooks out of his pocket, hangs them from his lower eyelids and picks 2 of the bottles up of the tap machine. Then he swung them back and forth.
Then Disturbed took the stage. It was loud, angry, and everyone was going nuts. Exactly what I expected. Part way through the show there was a break. Dave was babbling on about a bad review and one of the stoners next to me struck up a conversation with a girl standing below us. She was with 2 of her friends one of which was dating this stereotypical jock guy. Dude was about as tall as me and was twice my size.
He was having a horrible time and not liking the music. He obviously was there to keep an eye on his gf who he didn't trust. Well Stoner number one tells the girl he was talking to that "The party is up here, come join us." The guy starts yelling at him and grabs his shirt. He almost pulled him over the railing. Well I did what any good christian would. I tore his hand off the other guys shirt. The dude bitch slapped me. Seriously, it wasn't his gf what the fuck was this all about. He starts screaming at me and I just start ignoring him. Stinging cheek included.
They took another short break so Dave could talk some more and I decided to go take my aggression out in the mosh pit. During the first song I notice Mr. Roid standing there at the edge of the pit elbowing people. Pussy. It was time and I was ready. You know the great thing about not going out on a date and being in a situation like this? I don't have to care if the girl I am with thinks I am some psycho. So I work my way past him a couple times letting him elbow me and end up stopping right next to him. He shouts to me. "You fucking fairies never learn do you?" Who still talks like that? I tell him I am the wrong person and this is the wrong moment. That's when he cocked his fist back. Instinct took over. A well placed steel toe to the back of his knee and kick to the stomach made him vanish for the rest of the night.
It was a good time though. It was the 4th fight I have ever been in. I really hate fighting. Almost as much as I hate people who think they have to posess everything and everyone in their lives through the use of force.
I see some of you found my spam testimonials. Don't ask why, I was in an odd mood. Personally I keep all spam, even in my email. It makes it feel as though I do something other than sit here, play guitar, watch movies and listen to music. I WILL NOT be bothered in the least if you decide to delete them. Ididn't leave spam because I don't like you, I did it because sometimes words will escape me that wont sound all misplaced mushy or emo. Anyway on to last night.
I arrived at the HOB for the show and got in line. I know you are thinking "Wow, exciting!" Really though the drive there was uneventful. I just sat in the holiday traffic singing to the stereo.
Soil had a decent performance. If I were in that band, I wouldn't have been on the same bill as Disturbed. I mean really they are too much alike. I parked my narrow white ass next to the bar and was waiting for the bartender. I wanted the classic Zero drink. Sapphire and Tonic, 2 twists of lime. I noticed they were serving in plastic cups and threw that right out the window. Fuck that - glass or none. I settled on beer instead. I finished 3 during their set.
At the beginning of my 4th a guy comes on the stage. He is babbling about the Jagermeister tour and shit. I wasn't paying attention to what he said or who he was. He had an all over body tattoo of reptile skin. Then he asks if we want to stand here and scratch our asses or see some fucked up shit. Who am I to turn down fucked up shit. Really, I can scratch my ass and see fucked up shit at the same time, right? The dude pulls out a giant fish hook. Sitcks it through his nose and loops it through his mouth. I was thinking, awesome Jim Rose in the House. Pun intended. I must have said it out loud because the guy next to me started laughing. I look at him and his buddy and thought I was lookin at Hellboy from the movie Haggard. Do de doh. I never found out his name.
Corrosion of Conformity took the stage. I was suprised. I hadn't seen them since 1991. The did an awesome set. Who would have known they had it in them. The sound was awesome and I was able to put away 4 more beers. I thought about getting in the mosh pit that was going on, but didn't. I am too old for that shit. But only because it would be like going to a high school and picking a fight.
CoC ended their set and I was standing there sipping my beer and thinking. "Damn, maybe the key to having a normal night is don't bring anyone with me." The freak came out again, this time with an assistant. This time he had darts thrown into his back, put a condom up his nose then out his mouth, put a drill up his nose (see a theme yet?), then as a coup de gras he lifted a Jager tap machine up by his earlobes. Hmpf, wholesome entertainment I tell ya. Not to be out done by his boss, his assistant one uped him. He pulls 2 hooks out of his pocket, hangs them from his lower eyelids and picks 2 of the bottles up of the tap machine. Then he swung them back and forth.
Then Disturbed took the stage. It was loud, angry, and everyone was going nuts. Exactly what I expected. Part way through the show there was a break. Dave was babbling on about a bad review and one of the stoners next to me struck up a conversation with a girl standing below us. She was with 2 of her friends one of which was dating this stereotypical jock guy. Dude was about as tall as me and was twice my size.
He was having a horrible time and not liking the music. He obviously was there to keep an eye on his gf who he didn't trust. Well Stoner number one tells the girl he was talking to that "The party is up here, come join us." The guy starts yelling at him and grabs his shirt. He almost pulled him over the railing. Well I did what any good christian would. I tore his hand off the other guys shirt. The dude bitch slapped me. Seriously, it wasn't his gf what the fuck was this all about. He starts screaming at me and I just start ignoring him. Stinging cheek included.
They took another short break so Dave could talk some more and I decided to go take my aggression out in the mosh pit. During the first song I notice Mr. Roid standing there at the edge of the pit elbowing people. Pussy. It was time and I was ready. You know the great thing about not going out on a date and being in a situation like this? I don't have to care if the girl I am with thinks I am some psycho. So I work my way past him a couple times letting him elbow me and end up stopping right next to him. He shouts to me. "You fucking fairies never learn do you?" Who still talks like that? I tell him I am the wrong person and this is the wrong moment. That's when he cocked his fist back. Instinct took over. A well placed steel toe to the back of his knee and kick to the stomach made him vanish for the rest of the night.
It was a good time though. It was the 4th fight I have ever been in. I really hate fighting. Almost as much as I hate people who think they have to posess everything and everyone in their lives through the use of force.
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no
What?