And here is Part Two of a kind of dark two part play I wrote. Part One can be found in the previous journal entry. This was originally written as a comic book script. which I may still draw at some point. The comic was about a different character than seen here; throughout the 13 issue series, I delved into the secondary characters. This scene lent itself well to being, well, a scene.
It hasn't been produced as a play, but it has appeared in short story form in a now defunct comic magazine called Glyph. Though I can't remember which issue. Number 2 or 3.
CAT TALES
A Play by Daniel Kaufman
THE CHARACTERS
Mike and Andy Professional gangsters
Alex Woman in her early twenties
A Prisoner
ACT ONE
SCENE TWO
The hallway of a nice house, doors on either side. Mike stands guard at one door. From that room, the SOUND of a SILENCED GUNSHOT. Then the SOUND of STRUGGLING.
ANDY (OS): Man! What the fuck! Stay... back, Mike. I got this fucker... down.
MIKE (Whispers): Come on, our windows getting short!
The silenced gun fires.
MIKE (Whispers): Come on, Andy!
ANDY (Whispers): Justa... sec!
The silenced gun fires.
ANDY: Ahhh... fuck, man... fuck!
MIKE (Whispers): Be quiet! Are you okay?
Andy staggers to the doorway, holding his face. BLOOD leaks through his fingers.
ANDY (Whispers): M... man... it fucking stings...
MIKE (Whispers): What the fuck? (Hands Andy a hankie.) Did he have a knife?
ANDY (Demonstrates.): We... were all strugglin and shit... he pulls my head in... and I pull his head in... and the guns all wedged in... and Im all... bam! The fucking slide pops back... and cuts me... the fucking slide. What the fuck?! What the fuck, I say. (Pause.) I want to get some sleep.
MIKE (Whispers): Well be home soon, hang in there. We'll have to get you some stitch --
From across the hall, the other room, comes the sound of a FLUSHING toilet.
ALEX (OS): Junior, who are you talking to --
The men's guns come up as ALEX opens the door and steps out.. first sleepy, then a deer in headlights.
A long PAUSE, as she takes stock of the situation.
ALEX: A... are... are you going to... kill me... too?
MIKE: Uh, no... No reason to... I guess. You're in the life. You know what happens to witnesses.
ALEX: Are you going to... um... rape me?
MIKE: No! (Pause.) Im, um, married. (Pause.) Ah, Andy?
ANDY: Man, not my scene. (Tries to smile.) Why, do you want us to?
ALEX: NO! (Composes herself.) I mean, no.
ANDY: Man, I need a smoke. But it fucking hurts too much to smoke.
MIKE: Good. (to Alex) Well be on our way... then...
They move a few steps down the hallway. Then stop.
MIKE (to Alex): Do you have a washrag? Something cold he can press on his face?
ALEX: I... I guess so. Is Junior... just a minute --
Alex starts to move into the bedroom. Mike presents his gun again, stopping her.
MIKE: Sorry, that's not a good idea. The washrag, please.
Alex EXITS into the bathroom.
MIKE (Peering through the door): Where I can see you.
There is the SOUND of water running. Mike keeps track of both Alex (OS) and Andy.
ANDY: That was fucking weird.
MIKE: Getting hit with the slide of your own gun?
ANDY: No, man, that chick.
ALEX: Um, I can still hear you.
MIKE: Weird is a state of mind. Weird is something out of the left field, when you're the only one thinking... when something only makes sense to you.
ANDY: Why would we want to rape her --
Alex ENTERS with a washcloth.
ANDY (to Alex): Why would we want to rape you?
ALEX: Listen, I... I just...
Andy takes the washrag with his bloody hand and presses it against the wound.
ANDY: We break into this very secure house. We (Motions.) obviously have guns. And guns means killers, right? Are killers now rapists?
MIKE: Rapists are sometimes killers, but killers aren't usually rapists.
ALEX: Listen, I --
ANDY: That's a line you don't cross. Killing to rape. People getting killed usually deserve it...
MIKE: I knew this guy... real twisted fucker... lived on frat row when I was in school.
ANDY: Man, you were in college?
MIKE: Yeah, just for a year... just enough to know --- (Looks at Alex. She has a look on her face.) -- never mind about my college... (to Andy.) this guy... I knew this guy in college... he used to break into girls houses. Hed get in and make like he was going to rape them... had the mask and everything. Just before hed get down to business... hed stop.
ANDY: What? Hed stop?
MIKE: Yeah, hed stop. Hed tell them they were too ugly to rape and hed get up and leave.
ANDY: Youre fucking kidding me. Man, youre fucking with me, right?
MIKE: No. He was a psych major. He had this theory that it would fuck with a chicks ego as much as an actual rape would.
ANDY: Man, where do you meet these guys?
MIKE: Hey, he wasnt my friend. He was just some fucking guy I knew. You were talking about weird and I knew this guy --
ALEX: Can I go now?
ANDY (Over Alex, ignoring her.): One of my exs, man, she could sleep through anything. Used to do her while she was out. Like a blow up doll, only warm and... pulsey.
ALEX: Ahhh! What the hell is wrong with you?! Thats rape, you asshole!
ANDY: Wh... What?
ALEX: You had sex with her without permission! Thats rape! That's what turns killers into rapists.
ANDY (Pause.): No, man. She knew. I told her. Next morning.
MIKE: Sleeping Beauty was like that.
ANDY: What?
MIKE: The original Sleeping Beauty... no kiss, the Prince climbed up and fucked her. A couple of times, I think. She gave birth while she was sleeping... the baby crawled up and sucked the witches poison out of her nipple. Woke her up.
ANDY: Did the baby die?
MIKE: The baby?
ANDY: The baby. It sucked poison of her tit... did it die? Like Hamlet?
MIKE: Dont know. Maybe it was smarter than Hamlet. Maybe it was imm --
ALEX: Can I go now?! Are you going to get the fuck out of my house?
ANDY (Pause.): What the hells her problem?
They begin to leave.
MIKE: I dunno, we killed her boyfriend?
ANDY: She had to know it was coming sometime. (Pause.) It was probably you.
MIKE: What was me? Her problem?
ANDY: The rapist guy. It was you.
MIKE: Go fuck yourself.
ANDY: Im way too ugly for you.
They EXIT. Alex watches them leave.
ALEX (Almost to herself.): Theres a reason shes your ex.
Alex glances in the other room.
ALEX: Junior? What did you get yourself in -- (Heavy sigh.) Ah, I didnt need to see that.
Alex turns and pads slowly deeper into the darkened hallway.
END PLAY
It hasn't been produced as a play, but it has appeared in short story form in a now defunct comic magazine called Glyph. Though I can't remember which issue. Number 2 or 3.
CAT TALES
A Play by Daniel Kaufman
THE CHARACTERS
Mike and Andy Professional gangsters
Alex Woman in her early twenties
A Prisoner
ACT ONE
SCENE TWO
The hallway of a nice house, doors on either side. Mike stands guard at one door. From that room, the SOUND of a SILENCED GUNSHOT. Then the SOUND of STRUGGLING.
ANDY (OS): Man! What the fuck! Stay... back, Mike. I got this fucker... down.
MIKE (Whispers): Come on, our windows getting short!
The silenced gun fires.
MIKE (Whispers): Come on, Andy!
ANDY (Whispers): Justa... sec!
The silenced gun fires.
ANDY: Ahhh... fuck, man... fuck!
MIKE (Whispers): Be quiet! Are you okay?
Andy staggers to the doorway, holding his face. BLOOD leaks through his fingers.
ANDY (Whispers): M... man... it fucking stings...
MIKE (Whispers): What the fuck? (Hands Andy a hankie.) Did he have a knife?
ANDY (Demonstrates.): We... were all strugglin and shit... he pulls my head in... and I pull his head in... and the guns all wedged in... and Im all... bam! The fucking slide pops back... and cuts me... the fucking slide. What the fuck?! What the fuck, I say. (Pause.) I want to get some sleep.
MIKE (Whispers): Well be home soon, hang in there. We'll have to get you some stitch --
From across the hall, the other room, comes the sound of a FLUSHING toilet.
ALEX (OS): Junior, who are you talking to --
The men's guns come up as ALEX opens the door and steps out.. first sleepy, then a deer in headlights.
A long PAUSE, as she takes stock of the situation.
ALEX: A... are... are you going to... kill me... too?
MIKE: Uh, no... No reason to... I guess. You're in the life. You know what happens to witnesses.
ALEX: Are you going to... um... rape me?
MIKE: No! (Pause.) Im, um, married. (Pause.) Ah, Andy?
ANDY: Man, not my scene. (Tries to smile.) Why, do you want us to?
ALEX: NO! (Composes herself.) I mean, no.
ANDY: Man, I need a smoke. But it fucking hurts too much to smoke.
MIKE: Good. (to Alex) Well be on our way... then...
They move a few steps down the hallway. Then stop.
MIKE (to Alex): Do you have a washrag? Something cold he can press on his face?
ALEX: I... I guess so. Is Junior... just a minute --
Alex starts to move into the bedroom. Mike presents his gun again, stopping her.
MIKE: Sorry, that's not a good idea. The washrag, please.
Alex EXITS into the bathroom.
MIKE (Peering through the door): Where I can see you.
There is the SOUND of water running. Mike keeps track of both Alex (OS) and Andy.
ANDY: That was fucking weird.
MIKE: Getting hit with the slide of your own gun?
ANDY: No, man, that chick.
ALEX: Um, I can still hear you.
MIKE: Weird is a state of mind. Weird is something out of the left field, when you're the only one thinking... when something only makes sense to you.
ANDY: Why would we want to rape her --
Alex ENTERS with a washcloth.
ANDY (to Alex): Why would we want to rape you?
ALEX: Listen, I... I just...
Andy takes the washrag with his bloody hand and presses it against the wound.
ANDY: We break into this very secure house. We (Motions.) obviously have guns. And guns means killers, right? Are killers now rapists?
MIKE: Rapists are sometimes killers, but killers aren't usually rapists.
ALEX: Listen, I --
ANDY: That's a line you don't cross. Killing to rape. People getting killed usually deserve it...
MIKE: I knew this guy... real twisted fucker... lived on frat row when I was in school.
ANDY: Man, you were in college?
MIKE: Yeah, just for a year... just enough to know --- (Looks at Alex. She has a look on her face.) -- never mind about my college... (to Andy.) this guy... I knew this guy in college... he used to break into girls houses. Hed get in and make like he was going to rape them... had the mask and everything. Just before hed get down to business... hed stop.
ANDY: What? Hed stop?
MIKE: Yeah, hed stop. Hed tell them they were too ugly to rape and hed get up and leave.
ANDY: Youre fucking kidding me. Man, youre fucking with me, right?
MIKE: No. He was a psych major. He had this theory that it would fuck with a chicks ego as much as an actual rape would.
ANDY: Man, where do you meet these guys?
MIKE: Hey, he wasnt my friend. He was just some fucking guy I knew. You were talking about weird and I knew this guy --
ALEX: Can I go now?
ANDY (Over Alex, ignoring her.): One of my exs, man, she could sleep through anything. Used to do her while she was out. Like a blow up doll, only warm and... pulsey.
ALEX: Ahhh! What the hell is wrong with you?! Thats rape, you asshole!
ANDY: Wh... What?
ALEX: You had sex with her without permission! Thats rape! That's what turns killers into rapists.
ANDY (Pause.): No, man. She knew. I told her. Next morning.
MIKE: Sleeping Beauty was like that.
ANDY: What?
MIKE: The original Sleeping Beauty... no kiss, the Prince climbed up and fucked her. A couple of times, I think. She gave birth while she was sleeping... the baby crawled up and sucked the witches poison out of her nipple. Woke her up.
ANDY: Did the baby die?
MIKE: The baby?
ANDY: The baby. It sucked poison of her tit... did it die? Like Hamlet?
MIKE: Dont know. Maybe it was smarter than Hamlet. Maybe it was imm --
ALEX: Can I go now?! Are you going to get the fuck out of my house?
ANDY (Pause.): What the hells her problem?
They begin to leave.
MIKE: I dunno, we killed her boyfriend?
ANDY: She had to know it was coming sometime. (Pause.) It was probably you.
MIKE: What was me? Her problem?
ANDY: The rapist guy. It was you.
MIKE: Go fuck yourself.
ANDY: Im way too ugly for you.
They EXIT. Alex watches them leave.
ALEX (Almost to herself.): Theres a reason shes your ex.
Alex glances in the other room.
ALEX: Junior? What did you get yourself in -- (Heavy sigh.) Ah, I didnt need to see that.
Alex turns and pads slowly deeper into the darkened hallway.
END PLAY
uni group = my class group at university, a.k.a the bane of my existence, the people I am forced to work with and cover for to get good marks at school.
my last (long, boring) journal entry had some emails from my stupid group about an assignment we are meant to be doing...
--> edit b/c i hate bad spelling.
[Edited on Sep 07, 2004 11:57PM]