This is the second scene for my second play, The Two Megans. The first scene is one entry back and I'd highly advise checking it out first, if you haven't already. Actually, if you like the play, you'll end up having to come back and check stuff there by the end, anyway.
The Two Megans
Scene 2 - Used Book Store - CORY sorts books. KYLE ENTERS, wearing a nice, but rumpled, misbuttoned shirt and wrinkled slacks.
KYLE
Hey, dI miss anything?
CORY
(looks him over)
Getting home last night apparently. No,
same ol, same ol. This woman brings in about a million pieces of crap, thinking shes going to cash it in.
KYLE
(as he unbuttons and rebuttons his shirt)
Good stuff, huh?
CORY
Oh, yeah... Reader Digest... A set of Encyclopedias that still had little dashes after JFKs birthdate. You know; John Fitzgerald Kennedy, May 29, 1917, -
(motions)
dash....
KYLE
Whaddya give her?
CORY
Four bucks. She spazed, of course.
(shaking a Readers Digest Book)
Each onna these has three whole books in em. And Im all, These are Readers Digest books maam, we dont buy those. And shes all Why the ell not? And Im all, Theyre condensed maam. Abridged. And then we get into this whole thing about what abridged is and I let slip that its the same thing as books on tape, but for different reasons and that never makes them happy.
KYLE
Yeah, Readers Digest books are scorned, but audio books are king of the hill for lazy people. Did she take the money?
CORY
Of course. And left the rest of this garage sale cast off for us to take care of.
KYLE
Thatll get her another pack of cigarettes.
CORY
Shell have them smoked by lunch time.
(finds a Stephen Jay Gould book)
Do you want this?
KYLE
Nope.
CORY
I thought you liked all that Natural History/Darwin crap.
KYLE
I have it.
CORY
How can you do both?
KYLE
What do you mean?
CORY
You read this -
(motions Gould)
and you read your horoscope every day. I cant even remember what I am and you have the charts in your head. Astrology cant be considered a science.
KYLE
No, not really. I mean, it was the science that became astronomy.
CORY
Yeah, so you said last night. In between shushing me up about the girl -
KYLE
Shush!
CORY
Oh. Um, then, did you watch special edition TOS last night?
KYLE
You cant prove astrology anymore than... the Greeks could prove evolution.
CORY
Spectre of The Gun. Wild west shoot-outs. I read that the reason they had all those weird sets was a lack of budget... See, everybody thought it was this cool, minimalist art thing, but it was really a lack of cash --
KYLE
What the hell are you talking about? What is TOS?
CORY
Star Trek. The Original Series. TOS. Spectre of the Gun was the one where they were transported to the OK Corral... a re-creation of the OK Corral, of course.
KYLE
TOS? Why not just call it... um, I dont know... Star Trek?!
CORY
Well, theres Star Trek Next Generation. And Star Trek Deep Space Nine --
KYLE
Star Trek. Next Gen. DS9. Cory, its people like you that make me not admit I even like Star Trek. I used to sit home every Sunday night and watch X-Files, too, but Ill never admit it now.
CORY
Did you know the gunfight at the OK Corral actually happened up the street from it?
KYLE
Who fucking cares. Seriously.
CORY
Hey, youre the one that just made an evolution versus astrology comparison and managed to drag fucking ancient Greeks into it.
KYLE
I was just saying -
CORY
I know what you were saying. Youre saying your weird trivia is somehow cooler than my weird trivia. That calling TV shows by their name is somehow less hoity toity than pulling the Greeks out of your ass to make points.
KYLE
Its fucking Star Trek, Cory. Let me know when it features Socrates on a regular basis.
CORY
Whatever.
KYLE
Whenever you want to say something out loud, imagine that youre telling it to some hot chick you just met. Run it through the is this helping me to get laid filter.
CORY
Which you are a master of.
KYLE
Shush, I say! I mean, you wouldnt talk about ancient Romulan Architecture as it applied to modern Klingon sensibilities, if you met some hottie.
CORY
I did meet some hottie.
KYLE
You mean last night? After dinner?
CORY
So, seriously, do you believe in science? Or newspaper fortunes? Ive known you for a long time, Kyle. How do you rationalize... being the child of science and superstition?
KYLE
What do you mean?
CORY
Do you have faith?
KYLE
I have faith, sure.
CORY
Faith things will work out?
KYLE
Sure.
CORY
On the larger scale.
KYLE
Of course.
(pause)
Because it all boils down to fear.
CORY
What boils down to fear?
KYLE
Everything boils down to fear.
(pause)
What are we afraid of? Fear of being alone. Fear of death. Fear there's nothing after this life. That you've blown the only chance you've had. That's fear. Anger? Anger is fear, too. Of being wrong. Of being right. Of being wronged. Fear your partner... or your opponent... doesn't see your point of view. Fear of not being understood. That you are the only one that thinks that way. And now were back to the beginning. Fear you are alone.
CORY
You meaning people in general.
KYLE
Faith... faith is the name of thing we created to dispel fear. Faith that God is watching out for you. Faith there is a Heaven. That there's Something More. Faith they understand.
(pause)
Of course I have Faith. Because I do not wish to live in fear.
CORY
What about suicide? When you kill yourself you arent scared of dying. Are you then full of faith?
KYLE
If you kill yourself you are not scared of death. Youre scared of life.
CORY
I dont agree with that. Not being scared of death doesnt mean youre scared of life.
KYLE
Sure, but were talking about suicide. Specifically, right? Suicide is being so depressed about life... so scared of what it might bring... that you would rather face the unknown. Maybe youre scared of both. Maybe all of us are scared of both. And its only a matter of which one wins out. Day to day.
CORY
What if youre not scared of either? Maybe life has run its course for you. Theres nothing left to live for. And that makes death a new experience. Does that make you faithful? Or faithless? You can be depressed and not scared, right?
KYLE
(pause)
Sure.
CORY
(pause)
So things will work out.
KYLE
Between you and this mysterious hottie? Who knows? Asking God for girls never seemed like a very faithful act to me.
CORY
Are you kidding me? That goes against your very argument. Fear of being alone. Fear begets Faith. Faith means you pray to your God. To not be alone.
KYLE
That's not it. Faith means you have faith it will work out. Being alone, I mean. Faith should take away the fear. God should take away the fear.
CORY
By giving me a girl.
KYLE
God is not a pimp.
CORY
But shed have these wrists... these arms...
KYLE
This girl? Are you talking about this girl?
CORY
Yeah.
KYLE
She has?
CORY
Right, sorry. Has. She has the kind of limbs you could... she...
KYLE
Her arms are thin?
CORY
Not thin. Her arms are not... thin. Thin sounds like she's... like bird legs.
KYLE
Chicken legs. She has chicken legs.
CORY
That has a negative connotation. Chicken legs.
KYLE
Thin does.
CORY
Sometimes. Sometimes thin means too thin. Bad thin.
KYLE
But in this case --
CORY
In this case thin means... lean. Thin is swan. Graceful. Thin is --
KYLE
You like her arms.
CORY
I love her arms. Her wrists. Her limbs... are like... she has ballet tied to her bones.
KYLE
Graceful.
CORY
Thin! But this case thin means movement...
There is a pause.
KYLE
Then just say so.
CORY
(pause, as Cory continues sorting... then--)
She has dance... for skin. For bone... And muscle. She has --
KYLE
I get it!
(pause)
Fine. Fine, who is she? Where'd you --
CORY
Meet?
(pause)
We don't have to talk about this. We shouldnt talk about...
KYLE
You want to talk about it. So we can talk about it.
CORY
But you don't want to. Shush, you say!
KYLE
Would I have started the subject? No. But I wouldnt have started a conversation about William Shatner playing Wyatt Earp.
CORY
Ike Clanton. Shatner played Ike --
KYLE
Would I listen? For a friend. Yes. I would listen... I will listen. For you. You can talk about Star Trek. You can talk about girls --
CORY
Bathroom.
KYLE
Talk about whatever you want. I say. Yes.
CORY
Before dinner.
KYLE
(pause)
What?
CORY
You said yes.
KYLE
For talking, I did. So... in that spirit...
CORY
Where did we meet?
KYLE
Yes.
(pause)
Where did you... and this girl --
CORY
Anna?
KYLE
Yes. Where did you and... Anna... meet?
CORY
(pause)
In the bathroom. Last night. Before dinner.
KYLE
Really? You werent kidding?
CORY
Yes. I mean. I wasnt kidding.
KYLE
(pause)
Men's or women's?
CORY
See, that's always the next question, isn't it?
KYLE
I suppose. I don't know. Is it?
CORY
I would think... if I were write a research paper... it just seems that would be the next question.
KYLE
Not what you -- and by you I mean the two of you -- Not what were you doing in the bathroom?
CORY
Well, because there is an obvious answer for that.
KYLE
And there is the obvious question, then.
CORY
Men's or Women's.
KYLE
So you know who was in the wrong bathroom.
CORY
So that what were you doing in the bathroom... you meaning both of you...
KYLE
Becomes what were you --
(points)
doing in the wrong bathroom.
CORY
(pause)
Correct.
KYLE
It was you --
(points again)
CORY
No.
KYLE
RE-ally?
CORY
Yes.
(pause)
It wasn't me.
KYLE
You were in the men's room.
CORY
(pause)
Yes.
KYLE
I guess that makes sense. The lines would be shorter.
CORY
Motivation. You're talking her motivation. She could have... she didn't want to wait.
KYLE
Maybe couldn't wait. And the situation is less threatening.
CORY
Men in women's restrooms are bad. No good for anyone.
KYLE
Sure.
CORY
A dad would bring a little daughter in the men's --
KYLE
Which is the point. Women in men's okay.
(pause)
Why was Anna in the men's restroom?
CORY
Anna, maybe.
KYLE
What does that mean? You think her name was Anna?
CORY
She said it was Anna.
KYLE
Why was Anna in the men's restroom?
CORY
Shorter lines? Slightly perverted?
KYLE
You mean she likes wearing men's briefs?
CORY
Yes, thats exactly what I meant. You know what I meant.
KYLE
She was scared she would pee her pants.
CORY
Under your system she had faith she would pee her pants. Since the line was so long.
KYLE
Why was she in the bathroom?
CORY
(quick)
Jesus died when he was 33.
KYLE
Yeah, I know.
CORY
That's why the Freemasons use the number 33 in everything.
KYLE
That I did not know.
CORY
Sure. There are 33... levels of freemasondry. Whatever they call them.
KYLE
There are 33 vertebrae in the human skeleton.
CORY
The first atomic bomb was detonated in White Sands... which is on the 33rd degree of latitude.
KYLE
Kennedy was killed under a triple underpass.
CORY
Also on the 33rd degree of latitude.
KYLE
What was --
CORY
Seriously, Dallas is on the 33rd --
KYLE
What was Anna doing in the bathroom?
(pause)
Does Anna like to pee on guys?
CORY
(immediate)
Stop with that! Who fucking knows!?
(pause)
I didn't ask. But she obviously wasn't scared of me when I walked in on her.
KYLE
In a world without fear we would have no faith.
CORY
Im scared I might like this girl.
KYLE
Do you have faith youll go out again?
CORY
Yeah. Its already set up.
KYLE
Then you should have no fear.
CORY
Did Jesus have fear I wonder? When he died at 33?
KYLE
Depends on whether you believe he was the actual son of the actual God... or just a guy with something to say.
CORY
Was Jesus astrology or science? Why couldnt the Son of God show fear? He was more man than deity either way, right?
KYLE
I think if he was the Son of God he showed no fear. I think that would be the point. I mean, Green Lantern shows no fear and hes just a super hero.
CORY
Green Lantern?
KYLE
Yeah, the guy with the power ring. Weakness against the color yellow. Member in good standing with the Justice League of America.
CORY
And he showed no fear?
KYLE
That was his shtick. He didnt just show no fear... he had no fear. He was incapable of it.
CORY
How can you be incapable of fear?
KYLE
Ask Jesus.
CORY
I cant even imagine that. No fear of death? Does that mean he took unnecessary risks?
KYLE
No, he wasnt stupid. Fear wasnt a motivating factor in his decision making process.
CORY
Then under your logic he was the most faithless guy alive.
KYLE
Thats not right. Just the opposite, I think. Im saying faith was created to combat fear. A man of true faith removes his fear. A man of no fear has true faith.
CORY
So Green Lantern has more faith than Jesus.
KYLE
What?
CORY
Father why have you forsaken me? Jesus cried to the heavens for help. He lost faith there for a second. He was scared.
KYLE
That cant be proven. He may have just been sad or... wondering what was going on.
(pause)
But could you imagine what he would say to his son? God, I mean? Did Jesus know what he was in for?
CORY
He must have. Maybe it was a duty. Maybe he wanted to. Make his father proud.
(pause)
Everything boils down to fear, you said. Fear of dying. Fear of abandonment. Fear he really wasnt the Son of God. That there was no happily ever after.
KYLE
I think if anyone had faith, it was the Son of God.
CORY
If he was science.
(pause)
Man, he must have gotten a lot of chicks.
KYLE
I think the bibles pretty clear on that.
CORY
Not Jesus, Green Lantern. A man with no fear of rejection? Every time he saw a hot chick, there was no mechanism to make him hesitant. No reason to make excuses.
(pause)
Jesus might have gotten girls too. If he wasnt the Son of God.
KYLE
Ive got news for you. Youre not Green Lantern.
CORY
And Im certainly not Jesus.
KYLE
So good luck with Anna, because youre going to need it. Luck and rubber sheets.
CORY
Where do angels fear to tread?
KYLE
Trick question?
CORY
Maybe. If you were an angel... where would you fear to go? You know heaven exists. You know there is a God. Where are you scared? Why are you scared?
KYLE
I guess if you thought God didnt love you. If you thought he wasnt watching out for you. Or he was going to hang you on a cross.
CORY
Yeah. If God had more kids, think about what kind of fear they lived under.
KYLE
Be like the Brady Bunch if Mr. Brady had hung Greg on a cross when they all moved in together. Just for show. Youre under my roof now, you little shits.
CORY
And that is actually the saddest analogy I ever heard.
KYLE
Who cares. Seriously.
END SCENE TWO
The Two Megans
Scene 2 - Used Book Store - CORY sorts books. KYLE ENTERS, wearing a nice, but rumpled, misbuttoned shirt and wrinkled slacks.
KYLE
Hey, dI miss anything?
CORY
(looks him over)
Getting home last night apparently. No,
same ol, same ol. This woman brings in about a million pieces of crap, thinking shes going to cash it in.
KYLE
(as he unbuttons and rebuttons his shirt)
Good stuff, huh?
CORY
Oh, yeah... Reader Digest... A set of Encyclopedias that still had little dashes after JFKs birthdate. You know; John Fitzgerald Kennedy, May 29, 1917, -
(motions)
dash....
KYLE
Whaddya give her?
CORY
Four bucks. She spazed, of course.
(shaking a Readers Digest Book)
Each onna these has three whole books in em. And Im all, These are Readers Digest books maam, we dont buy those. And shes all Why the ell not? And Im all, Theyre condensed maam. Abridged. And then we get into this whole thing about what abridged is and I let slip that its the same thing as books on tape, but for different reasons and that never makes them happy.
KYLE
Yeah, Readers Digest books are scorned, but audio books are king of the hill for lazy people. Did she take the money?
CORY
Of course. And left the rest of this garage sale cast off for us to take care of.
KYLE
Thatll get her another pack of cigarettes.
CORY
Shell have them smoked by lunch time.
(finds a Stephen Jay Gould book)
Do you want this?
KYLE
Nope.
CORY
I thought you liked all that Natural History/Darwin crap.
KYLE
I have it.
CORY
How can you do both?
KYLE
What do you mean?
CORY
You read this -
(motions Gould)
and you read your horoscope every day. I cant even remember what I am and you have the charts in your head. Astrology cant be considered a science.
KYLE
No, not really. I mean, it was the science that became astronomy.
CORY
Yeah, so you said last night. In between shushing me up about the girl -
KYLE
Shush!
CORY
Oh. Um, then, did you watch special edition TOS last night?
KYLE
You cant prove astrology anymore than... the Greeks could prove evolution.
CORY
Spectre of The Gun. Wild west shoot-outs. I read that the reason they had all those weird sets was a lack of budget... See, everybody thought it was this cool, minimalist art thing, but it was really a lack of cash --
KYLE
What the hell are you talking about? What is TOS?
CORY
Star Trek. The Original Series. TOS. Spectre of the Gun was the one where they were transported to the OK Corral... a re-creation of the OK Corral, of course.
KYLE
TOS? Why not just call it... um, I dont know... Star Trek?!
CORY
Well, theres Star Trek Next Generation. And Star Trek Deep Space Nine --
KYLE
Star Trek. Next Gen. DS9. Cory, its people like you that make me not admit I even like Star Trek. I used to sit home every Sunday night and watch X-Files, too, but Ill never admit it now.
CORY
Did you know the gunfight at the OK Corral actually happened up the street from it?
KYLE
Who fucking cares. Seriously.
CORY
Hey, youre the one that just made an evolution versus astrology comparison and managed to drag fucking ancient Greeks into it.
KYLE
I was just saying -
CORY
I know what you were saying. Youre saying your weird trivia is somehow cooler than my weird trivia. That calling TV shows by their name is somehow less hoity toity than pulling the Greeks out of your ass to make points.
KYLE
Its fucking Star Trek, Cory. Let me know when it features Socrates on a regular basis.
CORY
Whatever.
KYLE
Whenever you want to say something out loud, imagine that youre telling it to some hot chick you just met. Run it through the is this helping me to get laid filter.
CORY
Which you are a master of.
KYLE
Shush, I say! I mean, you wouldnt talk about ancient Romulan Architecture as it applied to modern Klingon sensibilities, if you met some hottie.
CORY
I did meet some hottie.
KYLE
You mean last night? After dinner?
CORY
So, seriously, do you believe in science? Or newspaper fortunes? Ive known you for a long time, Kyle. How do you rationalize... being the child of science and superstition?
KYLE
What do you mean?
CORY
Do you have faith?
KYLE
I have faith, sure.
CORY
Faith things will work out?
KYLE
Sure.
CORY
On the larger scale.
KYLE
Of course.
(pause)
Because it all boils down to fear.
CORY
What boils down to fear?
KYLE
Everything boils down to fear.
(pause)
What are we afraid of? Fear of being alone. Fear of death. Fear there's nothing after this life. That you've blown the only chance you've had. That's fear. Anger? Anger is fear, too. Of being wrong. Of being right. Of being wronged. Fear your partner... or your opponent... doesn't see your point of view. Fear of not being understood. That you are the only one that thinks that way. And now were back to the beginning. Fear you are alone.
CORY
You meaning people in general.
KYLE
Faith... faith is the name of thing we created to dispel fear. Faith that God is watching out for you. Faith there is a Heaven. That there's Something More. Faith they understand.
(pause)
Of course I have Faith. Because I do not wish to live in fear.
CORY
What about suicide? When you kill yourself you arent scared of dying. Are you then full of faith?
KYLE
If you kill yourself you are not scared of death. Youre scared of life.
CORY
I dont agree with that. Not being scared of death doesnt mean youre scared of life.
KYLE
Sure, but were talking about suicide. Specifically, right? Suicide is being so depressed about life... so scared of what it might bring... that you would rather face the unknown. Maybe youre scared of both. Maybe all of us are scared of both. And its only a matter of which one wins out. Day to day.
CORY
What if youre not scared of either? Maybe life has run its course for you. Theres nothing left to live for. And that makes death a new experience. Does that make you faithful? Or faithless? You can be depressed and not scared, right?
KYLE
(pause)
Sure.
CORY
(pause)
So things will work out.
KYLE
Between you and this mysterious hottie? Who knows? Asking God for girls never seemed like a very faithful act to me.
CORY
Are you kidding me? That goes against your very argument. Fear of being alone. Fear begets Faith. Faith means you pray to your God. To not be alone.
KYLE
That's not it. Faith means you have faith it will work out. Being alone, I mean. Faith should take away the fear. God should take away the fear.
CORY
By giving me a girl.
KYLE
God is not a pimp.
CORY
But shed have these wrists... these arms...
KYLE
This girl? Are you talking about this girl?
CORY
Yeah.
KYLE
She has?
CORY
Right, sorry. Has. She has the kind of limbs you could... she...
KYLE
Her arms are thin?
CORY
Not thin. Her arms are not... thin. Thin sounds like she's... like bird legs.
KYLE
Chicken legs. She has chicken legs.
CORY
That has a negative connotation. Chicken legs.
KYLE
Thin does.
CORY
Sometimes. Sometimes thin means too thin. Bad thin.
KYLE
But in this case --
CORY
In this case thin means... lean. Thin is swan. Graceful. Thin is --
KYLE
You like her arms.
CORY
I love her arms. Her wrists. Her limbs... are like... she has ballet tied to her bones.
KYLE
Graceful.
CORY
Thin! But this case thin means movement...
There is a pause.
KYLE
Then just say so.
CORY
(pause, as Cory continues sorting... then--)
She has dance... for skin. For bone... And muscle. She has --
KYLE
I get it!
(pause)
Fine. Fine, who is she? Where'd you --
CORY
Meet?
(pause)
We don't have to talk about this. We shouldnt talk about...
KYLE
You want to talk about it. So we can talk about it.
CORY
But you don't want to. Shush, you say!
KYLE
Would I have started the subject? No. But I wouldnt have started a conversation about William Shatner playing Wyatt Earp.
CORY
Ike Clanton. Shatner played Ike --
KYLE
Would I listen? For a friend. Yes. I would listen... I will listen. For you. You can talk about Star Trek. You can talk about girls --
CORY
Bathroom.
KYLE
Talk about whatever you want. I say. Yes.
CORY
Before dinner.
KYLE
(pause)
What?
CORY
You said yes.
KYLE
For talking, I did. So... in that spirit...
CORY
Where did we meet?
KYLE
Yes.
(pause)
Where did you... and this girl --
CORY
Anna?
KYLE
Yes. Where did you and... Anna... meet?
CORY
(pause)
In the bathroom. Last night. Before dinner.
KYLE
Really? You werent kidding?
CORY
Yes. I mean. I wasnt kidding.
KYLE
(pause)
Men's or women's?
CORY
See, that's always the next question, isn't it?
KYLE
I suppose. I don't know. Is it?
CORY
I would think... if I were write a research paper... it just seems that would be the next question.
KYLE
Not what you -- and by you I mean the two of you -- Not what were you doing in the bathroom?
CORY
Well, because there is an obvious answer for that.
KYLE
And there is the obvious question, then.
CORY
Men's or Women's.
KYLE
So you know who was in the wrong bathroom.
CORY
So that what were you doing in the bathroom... you meaning both of you...
KYLE
Becomes what were you --
(points)
doing in the wrong bathroom.
CORY
(pause)
Correct.
KYLE
It was you --
(points again)
CORY
No.
KYLE
RE-ally?
CORY
Yes.
(pause)
It wasn't me.
KYLE
You were in the men's room.
CORY
(pause)
Yes.
KYLE
I guess that makes sense. The lines would be shorter.
CORY
Motivation. You're talking her motivation. She could have... she didn't want to wait.
KYLE
Maybe couldn't wait. And the situation is less threatening.
CORY
Men in women's restrooms are bad. No good for anyone.
KYLE
Sure.
CORY
A dad would bring a little daughter in the men's --
KYLE
Which is the point. Women in men's okay.
(pause)
Why was Anna in the men's restroom?
CORY
Anna, maybe.
KYLE
What does that mean? You think her name was Anna?
CORY
She said it was Anna.
KYLE
Why was Anna in the men's restroom?
CORY
Shorter lines? Slightly perverted?
KYLE
You mean she likes wearing men's briefs?
CORY
Yes, thats exactly what I meant. You know what I meant.
KYLE
She was scared she would pee her pants.
CORY
Under your system she had faith she would pee her pants. Since the line was so long.
KYLE
Why was she in the bathroom?
CORY
(quick)
Jesus died when he was 33.
KYLE
Yeah, I know.
CORY
That's why the Freemasons use the number 33 in everything.
KYLE
That I did not know.
CORY
Sure. There are 33... levels of freemasondry. Whatever they call them.
KYLE
There are 33 vertebrae in the human skeleton.
CORY
The first atomic bomb was detonated in White Sands... which is on the 33rd degree of latitude.
KYLE
Kennedy was killed under a triple underpass.
CORY
Also on the 33rd degree of latitude.
KYLE
What was --
CORY
Seriously, Dallas is on the 33rd --
KYLE
What was Anna doing in the bathroom?
(pause)
Does Anna like to pee on guys?
CORY
(immediate)
Stop with that! Who fucking knows!?
(pause)
I didn't ask. But she obviously wasn't scared of me when I walked in on her.
KYLE
In a world without fear we would have no faith.
CORY
Im scared I might like this girl.
KYLE
Do you have faith youll go out again?
CORY
Yeah. Its already set up.
KYLE
Then you should have no fear.
CORY
Did Jesus have fear I wonder? When he died at 33?
KYLE
Depends on whether you believe he was the actual son of the actual God... or just a guy with something to say.
CORY
Was Jesus astrology or science? Why couldnt the Son of God show fear? He was more man than deity either way, right?
KYLE
I think if he was the Son of God he showed no fear. I think that would be the point. I mean, Green Lantern shows no fear and hes just a super hero.
CORY
Green Lantern?
KYLE
Yeah, the guy with the power ring. Weakness against the color yellow. Member in good standing with the Justice League of America.
CORY
And he showed no fear?
KYLE
That was his shtick. He didnt just show no fear... he had no fear. He was incapable of it.
CORY
How can you be incapable of fear?
KYLE
Ask Jesus.
CORY
I cant even imagine that. No fear of death? Does that mean he took unnecessary risks?
KYLE
No, he wasnt stupid. Fear wasnt a motivating factor in his decision making process.
CORY
Then under your logic he was the most faithless guy alive.
KYLE
Thats not right. Just the opposite, I think. Im saying faith was created to combat fear. A man of true faith removes his fear. A man of no fear has true faith.
CORY
So Green Lantern has more faith than Jesus.
KYLE
What?
CORY
Father why have you forsaken me? Jesus cried to the heavens for help. He lost faith there for a second. He was scared.
KYLE
That cant be proven. He may have just been sad or... wondering what was going on.
(pause)
But could you imagine what he would say to his son? God, I mean? Did Jesus know what he was in for?
CORY
He must have. Maybe it was a duty. Maybe he wanted to. Make his father proud.
(pause)
Everything boils down to fear, you said. Fear of dying. Fear of abandonment. Fear he really wasnt the Son of God. That there was no happily ever after.
KYLE
I think if anyone had faith, it was the Son of God.
CORY
If he was science.
(pause)
Man, he must have gotten a lot of chicks.
KYLE
I think the bibles pretty clear on that.
CORY
Not Jesus, Green Lantern. A man with no fear of rejection? Every time he saw a hot chick, there was no mechanism to make him hesitant. No reason to make excuses.
(pause)
Jesus might have gotten girls too. If he wasnt the Son of God.
KYLE
Ive got news for you. Youre not Green Lantern.
CORY
And Im certainly not Jesus.
KYLE
So good luck with Anna, because youre going to need it. Luck and rubber sheets.
CORY
Where do angels fear to tread?
KYLE
Trick question?
CORY
Maybe. If you were an angel... where would you fear to go? You know heaven exists. You know there is a God. Where are you scared? Why are you scared?
KYLE
I guess if you thought God didnt love you. If you thought he wasnt watching out for you. Or he was going to hang you on a cross.
CORY
Yeah. If God had more kids, think about what kind of fear they lived under.
KYLE
Be like the Brady Bunch if Mr. Brady had hung Greg on a cross when they all moved in together. Just for show. Youre under my roof now, you little shits.
CORY
And that is actually the saddest analogy I ever heard.
KYLE
Who cares. Seriously.
END SCENE TWO
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
There, hard brutal life, followed by marriage, children, and death.
Again, I appreciate your comments, I look forward to reading them, and I would like to continue this debate at a later date. I'm not wanting to dismiss your comments, nor do I agree with them, but I simply do not have the time.
And I concede on the misuse of the word misogynistic. My bad, I own up to it.
[Edited on May 12, 2004 10:38PM]