Alright (rubs hand together), it's play time again! The next Act for my first play, Searching For Julie Wisch. The poster can be found here: Original website
The previous parts of the play can be found in segments in between my daily rants and raves, at these locations:
Prelude
Act One
Interlude
Act Two
Second Interlude
And, now, Act Three of Searching For Julie Wisch.
ACT THREE - AN APARTMENT - NIGHT
Lights up.
The NARRATOR enters, followed in HOT PURSUIT by SAMANTHA. THE NARRATOR begins packing quickly.
SAMANTHA
Im not sure where you think youre going.
NARRATOR
I assume youre kicking me out.
SAMANTHA
Of course I am. But you cant lay in there, tell me your cheating on me, then get up and pack without a further word.
NARRATOR
Not cheating. Cheated.
SAMANTHA
You boys with your stats. Its all a matter of semantics for you, isnt it? The right spin.
NARRATOR
Samantha --
SAMANTHA
Its ingrained, isnt it? Natural defense mechanism? If you can rationalize it in your own mind, you can say it out loud with enough conviction that poor ol me will eventually sync up? Oh, yeah, honey, one time, my bad. Go ahead and give that dick a quick wipe and poke it back up in me.
NARRATOR
Geez, Samantha --
SAMANTHA
Was it worth it?
NARRATOR
Samantha --
Samantha paces. She occasionally helps him grab clothes.
SAMANTHA
Was she worth it? Was it the fuck that erased two years of your life?
NARRATOR
Samantha --
SAMANTHA
Its good you remember my name. It would be bad if you accidentally called me by her name, huh? Wouldnt that be embarrassing? The fuck that made you forget my name.
(pause)
Well? Was she good? Better?
NARRATOR
Im not going to answer that, Samantha. I did something wrong, but that doesnt make it okay for you to ask me that.
SAMANTHA
Pla-lease.
NARRATOR
So, I dont have a say?
SAMANTHA
(finds a shoe)
Not about the asking.
(pause)
You havent used my name that many times in a month, sweety. Maybe it was the fuck that made you forget my name. Maybe you keep repeating it over and over so you wont call me Jen by mistake. Thats who it was, right, one of the Jennifers?
NARRATOR
Im not answering that, either.
SAMANTHA
Oh, go ahead. If I was going to kick anyones ass, it would be yours. Besides, you know, like, fourteen of them, right?
(hands him the shoe)
Jennifer Green. Naw, too bitchy. She wouldnt even open her mouth to say hi, much less stick her tongue down your throat. Jennifer Archer? Shes too busy to get busy. Jennifer Brandon? You love that long, straight hair, blond
(motions her hair)
or red. And I wont even get into her age.
(builds)
Jen Ruckdechel? She of the unfortunate last name. One of those cutesy
(motions quotes)
"actress slash artist" types, know for their
(motions quotes)
"impulsive nature" or "creative freedom". Not that I don't think you played a part.
NARRATOR
Is this making you feel better?
SAMANTHA
Jen Dickinson? Jennifer Douglas? Jen Bishop? Shes got quite a
(motions again)
"curvy" body. More semantics. Give a girl big tits and any hips and watch the terms fly. Like a fucking... like a fucking book of synonyms exploding.
NARRATOR
Dictionary.
SAMANTHA
A dictionary? For synonyms?
NARRATOR
Yeah, a dictionary
SAMANTHA
Thats for definitions.
NARRATOR
No, a dictionary of synonyms.
SAMANTHA
They say dictionary of synonyms?
NARRATOR
Sure. Yes.
SAMANTHA
Wow. So what youre saying is a book of synonyms doesnt have its own term, like a regular dictionary or a thesaurus, and that you held Jen Brandons long red hair like a bridle, while you pounded her from behind?
NARRATOR
Ah, christ!
SAMANTHA
Well, there you were! There you were trying to act normal! Trying to blather on with your clever know it all blah blah, in hopes I would forget your fingers smell like the third week of Jennifer Douglas menstrual cycle!
NARRATOR
Now youre just trying to shock me, speaking of clever blah, blah.
SAMANTHA
Yes, Im trying to shock you. Its all about you. And your dick. Im trying to give you that feeling in the pit of your stomach like... um, I dont know... like when the man you love comes home one day and tells you hes been porking Jen Ruckdechel in hopes of getting her slutty ass a fucking scholarship at fucking Cornish!
NARRATOR
Im going to leave now.
SAMANTHA
Was she better than me?
NARRATOR
No.
SAMANTHA
Oh, come on... she had to have been prettier than me, right?
(pause, lighter)
Wait, she had bigger boobs than me.
NARRATOR
What?
SAMANTHA
(motions)
You know, these things you try to yank off my chest every night.
(pause)
Her boo --
NARRATOR
I heard what you said. It wasn't... it...
SAMANTHA
Smaller, then? I bet you'd always wished I had smaller breasts, huh? So your Saturday night card buddies would look at their poker hands instead of my tits?
NARRATOR
Enough, Samantha.
SAMANTHA
(pause)
Then why?
NARRATOR
Because girls dont carry sign saying how good they are in bed.
SAMANTHA
Why?
NARRATOR
She was different.
SAMANTHA
I thought you were different.
They have almost reached a moment of peace, of understanding. Samantha has stopped moving, calm... then --
NARRATOR
Jen Ruckdechel has a boyfriend.
SAMANTHA
What?
NARRATOR
It wasnt Jennifer Ruckdechel. She has a boyfriend.
SAMANTHA
(pause)
You had a girlfriend.
NARRATOR
She wouldnt. She has a boyfriend.
SAMANTHA
What are you saying?
NARRATOR
I... I dont know. Never mind. It wasnt her.
SAMANTHA
Are you saying you have more respect for her relationship than for ours?
NARRATOR
Never mind.
Samantha's on the move again.
SAMANTHA
Oh. Oh, youre saying you wouldve fucked Jen Ruckdechel but she wouldnt let you. So you fucked runner up Jen--
NARRATOR
No.
SAMANTHA
She wouldnt let you.
NARRATOR
No, I mean, thats not it. It wasnt her.
SAMANTHA
No, wait, I want to pursue this line of reasoning. How do you know she wouldnt? Did you guys have a talk? Were you all Gosh Jen, if Paul doesnt find out and Samantha doesnt find out, could I come over and fuck you?
She's near the LAMP Julie turned on.
SAMANTHA (cont'd)
And she was all Gosh, I dont know, I would like to fuck you, but my boyfriend might mistake that as a betrayal of our relationship. Maybe I could just give you head. Was that about how it wen --
NARRATOR
Stop it, Jenni --
Samantha PUNCHES the lamp over.
Silence. Then --
NARRATOR
Samantha. Please stop.
SAMANTHA
Go on, then.
NARRATOR
Shes got a daughter.
SAMANTHA
Go on. I dont care whose mother youre fucking.
NARRATOR
Fucked.
SAMANTHA
Oh. My bad.
NARRATOR
And it wasnt her.
SAMANTHA
I don't care.
END ACT THREE
The previous parts of the play can be found in segments in between my daily rants and raves, at these locations:
Prelude
Act One
Interlude
Act Two
Second Interlude
And, now, Act Three of Searching For Julie Wisch.
ACT THREE - AN APARTMENT - NIGHT
Lights up.
The NARRATOR enters, followed in HOT PURSUIT by SAMANTHA. THE NARRATOR begins packing quickly.
SAMANTHA
Im not sure where you think youre going.
NARRATOR
I assume youre kicking me out.
SAMANTHA
Of course I am. But you cant lay in there, tell me your cheating on me, then get up and pack without a further word.
NARRATOR
Not cheating. Cheated.
SAMANTHA
You boys with your stats. Its all a matter of semantics for you, isnt it? The right spin.
NARRATOR
Samantha --
SAMANTHA
Its ingrained, isnt it? Natural defense mechanism? If you can rationalize it in your own mind, you can say it out loud with enough conviction that poor ol me will eventually sync up? Oh, yeah, honey, one time, my bad. Go ahead and give that dick a quick wipe and poke it back up in me.
NARRATOR
Geez, Samantha --
SAMANTHA
Was it worth it?
NARRATOR
Samantha --
Samantha paces. She occasionally helps him grab clothes.
SAMANTHA
Was she worth it? Was it the fuck that erased two years of your life?
NARRATOR
Samantha --
SAMANTHA
Its good you remember my name. It would be bad if you accidentally called me by her name, huh? Wouldnt that be embarrassing? The fuck that made you forget my name.
(pause)
Well? Was she good? Better?
NARRATOR
Im not going to answer that, Samantha. I did something wrong, but that doesnt make it okay for you to ask me that.
SAMANTHA
Pla-lease.
NARRATOR
So, I dont have a say?
SAMANTHA
(finds a shoe)
Not about the asking.
(pause)
You havent used my name that many times in a month, sweety. Maybe it was the fuck that made you forget my name. Maybe you keep repeating it over and over so you wont call me Jen by mistake. Thats who it was, right, one of the Jennifers?
NARRATOR
Im not answering that, either.
SAMANTHA
Oh, go ahead. If I was going to kick anyones ass, it would be yours. Besides, you know, like, fourteen of them, right?
(hands him the shoe)
Jennifer Green. Naw, too bitchy. She wouldnt even open her mouth to say hi, much less stick her tongue down your throat. Jennifer Archer? Shes too busy to get busy. Jennifer Brandon? You love that long, straight hair, blond
(motions her hair)
or red. And I wont even get into her age.
(builds)
Jen Ruckdechel? She of the unfortunate last name. One of those cutesy
(motions quotes)
"actress slash artist" types, know for their
(motions quotes)
"impulsive nature" or "creative freedom". Not that I don't think you played a part.
NARRATOR
Is this making you feel better?
SAMANTHA
Jen Dickinson? Jennifer Douglas? Jen Bishop? Shes got quite a
(motions again)
"curvy" body. More semantics. Give a girl big tits and any hips and watch the terms fly. Like a fucking... like a fucking book of synonyms exploding.
NARRATOR
Dictionary.
SAMANTHA
A dictionary? For synonyms?
NARRATOR
Yeah, a dictionary
SAMANTHA
Thats for definitions.
NARRATOR
No, a dictionary of synonyms.
SAMANTHA
They say dictionary of synonyms?
NARRATOR
Sure. Yes.
SAMANTHA
Wow. So what youre saying is a book of synonyms doesnt have its own term, like a regular dictionary or a thesaurus, and that you held Jen Brandons long red hair like a bridle, while you pounded her from behind?
NARRATOR
Ah, christ!
SAMANTHA
Well, there you were! There you were trying to act normal! Trying to blather on with your clever know it all blah blah, in hopes I would forget your fingers smell like the third week of Jennifer Douglas menstrual cycle!
NARRATOR
Now youre just trying to shock me, speaking of clever blah, blah.
SAMANTHA
Yes, Im trying to shock you. Its all about you. And your dick. Im trying to give you that feeling in the pit of your stomach like... um, I dont know... like when the man you love comes home one day and tells you hes been porking Jen Ruckdechel in hopes of getting her slutty ass a fucking scholarship at fucking Cornish!
NARRATOR
Im going to leave now.
SAMANTHA
Was she better than me?
NARRATOR
No.
SAMANTHA
Oh, come on... she had to have been prettier than me, right?
(pause, lighter)
Wait, she had bigger boobs than me.
NARRATOR
What?
SAMANTHA
(motions)
You know, these things you try to yank off my chest every night.
(pause)
Her boo --
NARRATOR
I heard what you said. It wasn't... it...
SAMANTHA
Smaller, then? I bet you'd always wished I had smaller breasts, huh? So your Saturday night card buddies would look at their poker hands instead of my tits?
NARRATOR
Enough, Samantha.
SAMANTHA
(pause)
Then why?
NARRATOR
Because girls dont carry sign saying how good they are in bed.
SAMANTHA
Why?
NARRATOR
She was different.
SAMANTHA
I thought you were different.
They have almost reached a moment of peace, of understanding. Samantha has stopped moving, calm... then --
NARRATOR
Jen Ruckdechel has a boyfriend.
SAMANTHA
What?
NARRATOR
It wasnt Jennifer Ruckdechel. She has a boyfriend.
SAMANTHA
(pause)
You had a girlfriend.
NARRATOR
She wouldnt. She has a boyfriend.
SAMANTHA
What are you saying?
NARRATOR
I... I dont know. Never mind. It wasnt her.
SAMANTHA
Are you saying you have more respect for her relationship than for ours?
NARRATOR
Never mind.
Samantha's on the move again.
SAMANTHA
Oh. Oh, youre saying you wouldve fucked Jen Ruckdechel but she wouldnt let you. So you fucked runner up Jen--
NARRATOR
No.
SAMANTHA
She wouldnt let you.
NARRATOR
No, I mean, thats not it. It wasnt her.
SAMANTHA
No, wait, I want to pursue this line of reasoning. How do you know she wouldnt? Did you guys have a talk? Were you all Gosh Jen, if Paul doesnt find out and Samantha doesnt find out, could I come over and fuck you?
She's near the LAMP Julie turned on.
SAMANTHA (cont'd)
And she was all Gosh, I dont know, I would like to fuck you, but my boyfriend might mistake that as a betrayal of our relationship. Maybe I could just give you head. Was that about how it wen --
NARRATOR
Stop it, Jenni --
Samantha PUNCHES the lamp over.
Silence. Then --
NARRATOR
Samantha. Please stop.
SAMANTHA
Go on, then.
NARRATOR
Shes got a daughter.
SAMANTHA
Go on. I dont care whose mother youre fucking.
NARRATOR
Fucked.
SAMANTHA
Oh. My bad.
NARRATOR
And it wasnt her.
SAMANTHA
I don't care.
END ACT THREE
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I just have to tell you that as a music engineer who's up to date on all the latest trends, ideas and technology, I hold a very common view amongst my professional peers. From Hollywood, CA to Hollywood, FL the general consensus is that the majors are finally getting what's coming to them. No one I know except for those at the very, very top have any sympathy for the record industry. And we're complicit in the scam! The feeling is that the truth is exposed, and we can all sleep easier now that we're free of living this lie.
I write for one of the three major industry mags and they all editorialize on the greed and short sightedness of the record industry. If they had shifted gears to a downloadable product in time, they could have avoided suing their customers. What other industry sues people for not buying their product? And what is their product most of the time? A lot would say mass marketed crap. Not inspirational art. I know that's subjective, but that's what seems to be happening. Consumers are placing lower value on certain artists and styles. The labels with different and friendlier business models and a more diverse catalog are the ones that will suvive.