Hey Everybody! This is the second act of my play, Searching For Julie Wisch. If you are stumbling on this for the first time, and at all interested in reading it, you'd do well to go back to here:
The First Act
And follow the entries. There are one or two non-play ones in-between, but those are pretty clearly marked.
And now... Act Two!
ACT TWO - SMALL APARTMENT
Lights up.
ALISON packs with restrained anger.
THE NARRATOR sits on a couch. He uses a remote control to flip through channels on a TV. He is mesmerized, inattentive.
ALISON
I guess your life will get easier, now that Im leaving.
NARRATOR
Yeah. I guess so.
ALISON
Just like that.
NARRATOR
Sometimes things just happen, Alice.
ALISON
It's Alison. Alison. Just happen? These things just happen?
NARRATOR
Yeah, you know. Things happen sometimes.
ALISON
No, I don't know. You knew this was going to happen?
NARRATOR
What does that mean?
ALISON
I mean, you knew we would break up? Did you know? In your mind, when we met? You knew these things happen? I mean, in your mind, when you knew you had a shot. At me... When you knew you had a shot at me, at dating me... at getting me into bed. When you thought you could get me into bed, the first time... you must have weighed the pros and cons. Of dating me, I mean. All men do it. Weigh the pros and cons. To get women into bed.
NARRATOR
Alice, youre off base --
ALISON
But you couldnt even be decent enough to treat me like a one-night stand. To love me and leave me. You weighed the pros and cons and the pros were enough to want to sleep with me. To date me. The pros were enough. The cons. The cons were small enough to ignore. That night.
NARRATOR
Thats not true --
ALISON
(over 'true')
-- And the next... night.
(pause)
You weighed the pros and cons and the cons were small enough to ignore for a night of sex. And you let it happen. You knew the pros and you knew the cons, and you went ahead anyway. What did that prove?
NARRATOR
I didnt know what would happen. In the future. It just happens... I don't plan --
ALISON
Bull, shit. Bull and shit. You're a grown man. You are a grown-up, an adult who can vote and pay taxes. You were not a virgin when we met, far from it. You have had many... you have had several... (huff) you have had encounters. Previous encounters. Encounters that gave you the opportunity. The practice. You have had opportunities. You have had the practice... to weigh the pros and cons -- opportunities to weigh the cons. And you should have known better.
NARRATOR
I didnt know.
ALISON
Bullshit! You said you wanted to be this, and you said you wanted to do that. You knew what you wanted when you set out. You knew, and in your mind -- in your mind -- you had weighed the cons. You knew the weight of the cons were going to outweigh the pros, you knew, and you didnt have the courtesy... you didnt have the common decency... You didnt respect me enough to treat me like a one-night stand. What did that prove?
NARRATOR
You arent making any sense.
ALISON
You could have bailed after that first night. You could have weighed your pros and bailed. You could have bailed before you even had to deal with the cons.
NARRATOR
Alice --
ALISON
I listened to your stories. I listened to the pros. How pretty I looked when, how you like it when I did what. I listened to the stories. I listened to your stories.
(pause)
And you knew. Before.
NARRATOR
I didnt know.
They are silent. Then --
ALISON
Was this to punish me? To punish me because of her? Your ex... Rebekah, with the biblical spelling? Becky. What did you call her when you were trying to seem all... when you were trying to be... when you were in a smart mood... Pre-tentious. Pretentious. A perfect word for what I'm trying to say. A big, pretentious word, to describe a big pretentious act --
NARRATOR
Alice --
ALISON
Alison. Alison --
NARRATOR
Speaking of pretentious --
ALISON
Fuck you -- what did you call her, Becky, when you were trying to be smart? Because Rebekah wasnt enough of a mythological comparison, I guess... what was... your... Juna? Juno? Jealous wife of... Zeus?
NARRATOR
Juno. It was Juno. And the husband was Jupiter. Juno was the jealous wife of Jupiter. Roman mythology --
ALISON
Who was a promiscuous bastard, right? Jupiter, I mean. Jupiter had, like, lover after lover. He was quite a little tramp. Jupiter, I mean.
(pause)
Did I get that right? You compared your ex-wife to the jealous, psychotic wife of a god? Of a god that slept around a lot? Jupiter knew the difference between one-night stands and... Jupiter didnt need to get back at his slutty, jealous wife by ignoring the cons. To show the world who's boss.
NARRATOR
What the hell? What. The. Hell. You are off the map.
ALISON
Hey, Im sorry.
NARRATOR
Yeah.
ALISON
Only today did you realize the cons.
NARRATOR
Yes.
ALISON
Am I pretty?
NARRATOR
Yes.
ALISON
And you have no regrets.
NARRATOR
Correct.
ALISON
(builds)
And youll be better equipped to handle the cons in the future. Take a tip from Jupiter. Take a moment... to think it through. Youll be able to tell the difference now, I guess. The difference when youre thinking it through. Youll be able to tell the difference now between a one-night stand -- and a fucking relationship!
NARRATOR
Ah, man...
ALISON
Did I mean anything to you?
NARRATOR
Youre a big girl.
ALISON
Adult woman.
NARRATOR
Youre a grown up, capable of voting and paying taxes.
ALISON
And youre a spoiled little brat. A spoiled little smarty pants.
NARRATOR
You knew what you were doing.
ALISON
Good thing. If I didnt, somebody might have been hurt.
NARRATOR
Is this going somewhere?
ALISON
I dont know. I guess I am.
NARRATOR
Where do you get this stuff?
ALISON
Youre like a spoiled little brat. A spoiled little brat thats spilled his milk... spilled it and is trying to blame it on someone else!
(mocking)
'Oh, it happens... these things just happen... all... fucking...'
NARRATOR
You made your own fucking decision!
ALISON
So youre saying... what you are trying to say... I guess... I guess it must be my fault, then right? Youre saying I spilled your milk. The blame is on me.
NARRATOR
Its the wrong time. Its not your fa --
ALISON
Oh, no you dont! Im sick of things not being anyones fault. If its not my fault, then its your fault. Your milk, your fault.
NARRATOR
Its nobodys fault. Its the wrong time. I thought it was the right time, but its the wrong time.
ALISON
I get it now. Your milk spilled itself.
NARRATOR
Fine... do you want to get married?
ALISON
Oooh, now its not milk.
NARRATOR
Do you want to get married?
ALISON
Yes.
NARRATOR
To me?
ALISON
I dont know.
NARRATOR
Fair enough. Then what are we talking about?
ALISON
Ah, you fucking piss me off so much!
NARRATOR
You piss yourself off. I just do what I do.
ALISON
Its like Im dealing with a two- year old!
NARRATOR
Who spills his milk all the time. Whatever that means.
ALISON
Whyd you marry? Rebekah. Why?
NARRATOR
Because I thought no one else would.
ALISON
Marry Becky?
NARRATOR
No, Alice, marry me.
ALISON
Alison.
NARRATOR
Youre a grown woman.
ALISON
Capable of changing her name.
NARRATOR
Sorry. We had already met when you decided that your parents had a poor sense of humor.
ALISON
They named me Alice... Alice Little. Of course they had a poor sense of humor.
NARRATOR
You realize only you and about four other people in the world know that Alice Liddell is Alice in Wonderland.
ALISON
Like the four people that know who Juno is.
NARRATOR
Juno didn't change her name to... Junoson... when she found out... never mind.
ALISON
Alice had to go.
NARRATOR
So Alison it is.
ALISON
(quiet)
Did I mean anything to you...
NARRATOR
When I got divorced, biblical Rebekah and I... when we... stood in court and the judge asked us if the marriage was irrevocably broken... Becky asked what if it was broken, but not irrevocably.
ALISON
Alice, at the time, paid 75 dollars to stand in front of a judge... who asked her several questions about my motivations and sincerity.
NARRATOR
And the judge replied, without a beat, Maybe you should just be separated.
ALISON
(quiet)
What did I mean to you?
NARRATOR
Judges have the legal right to refuse the divorce in most states. Thats a detail a lot of people dont know. A judge doesnt have to grant a divorce, but the judge granted ours... matter of fact... without caring how broken it was.
ALISON
What are your motivations? To listen to the cons, I mean? Were you sincere... with your prose?
NARRATOR
(pause)
Did you even read... Alice in Wonderland?
ALISON
Yeah, my parents are still alive. My parents can still read to me and notice when I change my name.
NARRATOR
(pause)
Did that make you feel better?
ALISON
You should have known... you did know...
Alison is finished packing.
ALISON (cont'd)
Maybe the pros and cons mean... maybe it means the same to you... the same no matter what the event. Is. Maybe we're broken up, but not irrevocably. I could see that. Maybe... your world... doesn't know the difference between one-night stands and marriage.
(pause)
But I doubt it.
She picks up her bag to leave.
NARRATOR
It's been raining.
ALISON
I don't care.
She exits.
END ACT TWO
The First Act
And follow the entries. There are one or two non-play ones in-between, but those are pretty clearly marked.
And now... Act Two!
ACT TWO - SMALL APARTMENT
Lights up.
ALISON packs with restrained anger.
THE NARRATOR sits on a couch. He uses a remote control to flip through channels on a TV. He is mesmerized, inattentive.
ALISON
I guess your life will get easier, now that Im leaving.
NARRATOR
Yeah. I guess so.
ALISON
Just like that.
NARRATOR
Sometimes things just happen, Alice.
ALISON
It's Alison. Alison. Just happen? These things just happen?
NARRATOR
Yeah, you know. Things happen sometimes.
ALISON
No, I don't know. You knew this was going to happen?
NARRATOR
What does that mean?
ALISON
I mean, you knew we would break up? Did you know? In your mind, when we met? You knew these things happen? I mean, in your mind, when you knew you had a shot. At me... When you knew you had a shot at me, at dating me... at getting me into bed. When you thought you could get me into bed, the first time... you must have weighed the pros and cons. Of dating me, I mean. All men do it. Weigh the pros and cons. To get women into bed.
NARRATOR
Alice, youre off base --
ALISON
But you couldnt even be decent enough to treat me like a one-night stand. To love me and leave me. You weighed the pros and cons and the pros were enough to want to sleep with me. To date me. The pros were enough. The cons. The cons were small enough to ignore. That night.
NARRATOR
Thats not true --
ALISON
(over 'true')
-- And the next... night.
(pause)
You weighed the pros and cons and the cons were small enough to ignore for a night of sex. And you let it happen. You knew the pros and you knew the cons, and you went ahead anyway. What did that prove?
NARRATOR
I didnt know what would happen. In the future. It just happens... I don't plan --
ALISON
Bull, shit. Bull and shit. You're a grown man. You are a grown-up, an adult who can vote and pay taxes. You were not a virgin when we met, far from it. You have had many... you have had several... (huff) you have had encounters. Previous encounters. Encounters that gave you the opportunity. The practice. You have had opportunities. You have had the practice... to weigh the pros and cons -- opportunities to weigh the cons. And you should have known better.
NARRATOR
I didnt know.
ALISON
Bullshit! You said you wanted to be this, and you said you wanted to do that. You knew what you wanted when you set out. You knew, and in your mind -- in your mind -- you had weighed the cons. You knew the weight of the cons were going to outweigh the pros, you knew, and you didnt have the courtesy... you didnt have the common decency... You didnt respect me enough to treat me like a one-night stand. What did that prove?
NARRATOR
You arent making any sense.
ALISON
You could have bailed after that first night. You could have weighed your pros and bailed. You could have bailed before you even had to deal with the cons.
NARRATOR
Alice --
ALISON
I listened to your stories. I listened to the pros. How pretty I looked when, how you like it when I did what. I listened to the stories. I listened to your stories.
(pause)
And you knew. Before.
NARRATOR
I didnt know.
They are silent. Then --
ALISON
Was this to punish me? To punish me because of her? Your ex... Rebekah, with the biblical spelling? Becky. What did you call her when you were trying to seem all... when you were trying to be... when you were in a smart mood... Pre-tentious. Pretentious. A perfect word for what I'm trying to say. A big, pretentious word, to describe a big pretentious act --
NARRATOR
Alice --
ALISON
Alison. Alison --
NARRATOR
Speaking of pretentious --
ALISON
Fuck you -- what did you call her, Becky, when you were trying to be smart? Because Rebekah wasnt enough of a mythological comparison, I guess... what was... your... Juna? Juno? Jealous wife of... Zeus?
NARRATOR
Juno. It was Juno. And the husband was Jupiter. Juno was the jealous wife of Jupiter. Roman mythology --
ALISON
Who was a promiscuous bastard, right? Jupiter, I mean. Jupiter had, like, lover after lover. He was quite a little tramp. Jupiter, I mean.
(pause)
Did I get that right? You compared your ex-wife to the jealous, psychotic wife of a god? Of a god that slept around a lot? Jupiter knew the difference between one-night stands and... Jupiter didnt need to get back at his slutty, jealous wife by ignoring the cons. To show the world who's boss.
NARRATOR
What the hell? What. The. Hell. You are off the map.
ALISON
Hey, Im sorry.
NARRATOR
Yeah.
ALISON
Only today did you realize the cons.
NARRATOR
Yes.
ALISON
Am I pretty?
NARRATOR
Yes.
ALISON
And you have no regrets.
NARRATOR
Correct.
ALISON
(builds)
And youll be better equipped to handle the cons in the future. Take a tip from Jupiter. Take a moment... to think it through. Youll be able to tell the difference now, I guess. The difference when youre thinking it through. Youll be able to tell the difference now between a one-night stand -- and a fucking relationship!
NARRATOR
Ah, man...
ALISON
Did I mean anything to you?
NARRATOR
Youre a big girl.
ALISON
Adult woman.
NARRATOR
Youre a grown up, capable of voting and paying taxes.
ALISON
And youre a spoiled little brat. A spoiled little smarty pants.
NARRATOR
You knew what you were doing.
ALISON
Good thing. If I didnt, somebody might have been hurt.
NARRATOR
Is this going somewhere?
ALISON
I dont know. I guess I am.
NARRATOR
Where do you get this stuff?
ALISON
Youre like a spoiled little brat. A spoiled little brat thats spilled his milk... spilled it and is trying to blame it on someone else!
(mocking)
'Oh, it happens... these things just happen... all... fucking...'
NARRATOR
You made your own fucking decision!
ALISON
So youre saying... what you are trying to say... I guess... I guess it must be my fault, then right? Youre saying I spilled your milk. The blame is on me.
NARRATOR
Its the wrong time. Its not your fa --
ALISON
Oh, no you dont! Im sick of things not being anyones fault. If its not my fault, then its your fault. Your milk, your fault.
NARRATOR
Its nobodys fault. Its the wrong time. I thought it was the right time, but its the wrong time.
ALISON
I get it now. Your milk spilled itself.
NARRATOR
Fine... do you want to get married?
ALISON
Oooh, now its not milk.
NARRATOR
Do you want to get married?
ALISON
Yes.
NARRATOR
To me?
ALISON
I dont know.
NARRATOR
Fair enough. Then what are we talking about?
ALISON
Ah, you fucking piss me off so much!
NARRATOR
You piss yourself off. I just do what I do.
ALISON
Its like Im dealing with a two- year old!
NARRATOR
Who spills his milk all the time. Whatever that means.
ALISON
Whyd you marry? Rebekah. Why?
NARRATOR
Because I thought no one else would.
ALISON
Marry Becky?
NARRATOR
No, Alice, marry me.
ALISON
Alison.
NARRATOR
Youre a grown woman.
ALISON
Capable of changing her name.
NARRATOR
Sorry. We had already met when you decided that your parents had a poor sense of humor.
ALISON
They named me Alice... Alice Little. Of course they had a poor sense of humor.
NARRATOR
You realize only you and about four other people in the world know that Alice Liddell is Alice in Wonderland.
ALISON
Like the four people that know who Juno is.
NARRATOR
Juno didn't change her name to... Junoson... when she found out... never mind.
ALISON
Alice had to go.
NARRATOR
So Alison it is.
ALISON
(quiet)
Did I mean anything to you...
NARRATOR
When I got divorced, biblical Rebekah and I... when we... stood in court and the judge asked us if the marriage was irrevocably broken... Becky asked what if it was broken, but not irrevocably.
ALISON
Alice, at the time, paid 75 dollars to stand in front of a judge... who asked her several questions about my motivations and sincerity.
NARRATOR
And the judge replied, without a beat, Maybe you should just be separated.
ALISON
(quiet)
What did I mean to you?
NARRATOR
Judges have the legal right to refuse the divorce in most states. Thats a detail a lot of people dont know. A judge doesnt have to grant a divorce, but the judge granted ours... matter of fact... without caring how broken it was.
ALISON
What are your motivations? To listen to the cons, I mean? Were you sincere... with your prose?
NARRATOR
(pause)
Did you even read... Alice in Wonderland?
ALISON
Yeah, my parents are still alive. My parents can still read to me and notice when I change my name.
NARRATOR
(pause)
Did that make you feel better?
ALISON
You should have known... you did know...
Alison is finished packing.
ALISON (cont'd)
Maybe the pros and cons mean... maybe it means the same to you... the same no matter what the event. Is. Maybe we're broken up, but not irrevocably. I could see that. Maybe... your world... doesn't know the difference between one-night stands and marriage.
(pause)
But I doubt it.
She picks up her bag to leave.
NARRATOR
It's been raining.
ALISON
I don't care.
She exits.
END ACT TWO