moya

I..just ate an entire 12 in sub in 20 minutes, If I can do that, then why the fuck am I so small and skinny? (yay metabolism ) I'm getting angry at people that tell me to shut up because I'm skinny, or to stop being anorexic, or that if I finally ate something, I might GROW. Well, god, maybe I haven't grown in years because I've stopped growing?! Seriously. Can someone really call me anorexic, because of my size, after I eat shit loads of food constantly? This whole size thing really isn't my fault.. I'm surprised I'm the one who is insanely happy about being as short/small as I am, and other people are so irritated by it.. What does that mean about them.. People are so wierd, it really confuses me.

I am freezing. It's so difficult to even type, I might have to cut this entry off shorter than usual . The insanely violent hiccups have also arrived, and killing me. Though I already feel bad.

I woke up with a pulled back muscle (I'm thinking). On the right side of my spinal cord, it feels like there's a vertical muscle that runs the length of my entire back, top of neck to ass, and it's been fucked with or something. Well, it feels that way, I'm no anatomy expert. But unless I sit straight, it really, really kills. No slouching, no strecthing, no cracking back, no arching back, basically I'm almost immobile. My lungs feel like they're failing me today as well. Deep breaths/sighs make them feel like they're being squished, and it feels worse because it affects my back muscle too. It's very odd, the way my body is wired, so don't even start with the 'that's not possible'. I've put kinks in my neck that last weeks from stretching a leg. But yea. The lungs just don't bring in enough air without alot of hurt, so I breathe smaller breaths, and so I'm feeling tired. Every inhale is a stab of pain. And these hiccups! Oh god! It makes it feel like the organ/slab of fat/whatever is behind my right breast (not the actual breast itself) has fingernails digging into it, not even doing anything. Damn these ribs, too, I guess. Damn these structural defects. I have so many . I truly think my lung problem has started up because of the chemicals I constantly inhale at work. Breathing airborne acid/fumes and zepexo almost every second..burns, makes you choke, can't breathe..And voila, here is the long-term effect.. But, doc, I'm so young still..

I'd like to go take a nice warm bath, but despite my shortness, I still get pissed when my legs/knees and boobs are out of the water. I would love a bigger tub. Alot bigger. That you can fit an entire person into. Deep, too, so everything is underwater, that would stop the constant shivering.

Coughing just murdered me. I have a manicure, my first one, at 4 tonight. Atleast these claws will finally be under control. I think I'm either going to go rent a movie off the tv, or run to blockobuster. After I peel myself away from here.