moya

I'm glad to see the Milwaukee Group is finally starting to make attempts at getting something started. I don't think there's been a huge get-together for our group since since I joined. I think they used to go bowling every wednesday night or something, but only the same few people showed up. The only big SG event I've gone to is the party in Madison the Wisconsin group had back last April. Wow, that was a long time ago.. Anyway, we're finally trying to get off our asses and plan something. I would really like it if we did. I need to meet more people.

I left the building today to go to WalMart. Finally got outside for more than a few petty minutes. As I was walking out the front doors, my bus went by, so I had a wonderful sit out on the front steps for about twenty minutes. The air was nice. I wish I could open our window, but Liz has a few items stacked in that area and I need a lot of leverage to get it open, and..There's just no room. Plus she usually closes it.

It is now the 10th night in a row I've forgotten to give Rhonda a call. I don't know if it's too late, being quarter to eleven and all.. We're supposed to hang out, but my sucking at phone calling makes that look bleak. I'm terrible at hanging out with people this days.

Unpacking hasn't been finished, I wonder if it will be done by the time I go home again. I have an appointment on monday, and friday. I think I may go home this weekend (when depends on if Brendon decides to come up and visit for a night this weekend), then come back monday night, and go home thursday, then..finally move my whole ass back in for class to start up again.

I've been looking forward to it, but I'm starting to dread it again. A full class load. Seven classes. I hope I can handle it. I'd like to think I'm insane, but thinking back, I know that when I signed up, I had what's best for me in mind. Class and school work to keep me busy and not thinking about sad things, less boredom..Aye. *sigh* I hope I knew what I was doing. Books alone are going to hurt me. Maybe I'll be one of those people to get out of here before four years..

Looks like another night infront of the computer..on SG or watching a movie, something. I took another nap earlier. Did that wake-up-every-hour thing. Oh man, what a dream.
I guess we were all camping, family and friends and strangers, or at some resort, something..there was a campfire, many people, and a small pond nearby. Jesse was there. There was this tension between my sister and I because of the cat. Anyway, the cat started on fire from the camp fire (don't laugh, I was terrified) and I quickly picked him up and hugged him to my chest to put the flames out, and he was frantic, too. I thought they were out and he jumped down, and the flame got big again, so I grabbed him again, ran to the pond, and hugging him to my chest tightly, I jumped in.

The flames were out, but as soon as we got out of the water, my sister grabbed the cat and said something snarky to me, and stalked off. I felt so sad and lost that she had taken him away from me, and really angry. Note: My sister is usually like that, easy to anger and then reverts to five-year-old mode, though, the cat has never been on fire. So, back to the dream, I walked back to where my dad was sitting and sat down, and from the look I had on my face, he knew what she did, looked at my mother for confirmation, she nodded her head, he rolled his eyes and shook his head.. I remember it was like she took my baby away from me. I felt like I was its mother, and she was very jealous of that. Note: My sister is jealous that the cat comes to me when she calls it.

Anyway, I felt really guilty for the maternal issues I had and why she felt like that. Then I woke up.
I wonder what my dreams mean. I hope I don't get pregnant anytime soon, though.. With the way things are going, I might not even get to be paranoid about it for awhile yet..Heh.
I also hope it doesn't mean that I'm going to be heartbroken when they move out this summer and take the cat back.. I've always known they'll take it back, and we never intended to keep it forever. It's just.. It loves me. It doesn't care what I've done or who I am or what I look like or what music I listen to. As long as I show it love, it'll love me back. It also, upon leaving, will adapt to its new parents. Like it just about forgot my sister, it will just about forget me and won't come when I call or lay with me every night.
Eh. I still don't want to block my dreams out.

I don't know if there was much else. Of course, in my life, there's always something to talk about. *cough*
I just can't remember at the moment, I suppose.
Still brainstorming is all.