moya

I still have a comment or two to return, I'm just updating this because I've been on an every-other-day roll, maybe I won't get too distracted in an hour and a half..

I just woke up, so everything may sound a little blurry because the facts are still floating around. That was quite the long nap I took.. I'm kind of sad I didn't get up an hour earlier. I forgot to make a phone call for the fifth night in a row. Little known fact: I'm a terrible friend offline, and I don't often wonder why people stop talking to me. I stop talking first (in most cases).. Also, the snot I keep sucking back in the back of my throat tastes like water.

Oh, the holiday..was okay. Saturday night we went to my Aunt Cindys house and realized I forgot to make my cousin Laura a card. I say it was because I was too busy chatting it up with bateman and my putzing on the webcam. Kidding..It's not his fault. I told her I'd email her one. See how bad I am? I can't even remember to make a simple card.
But it's okay, because she had forgotten and made mine on the way up from Illinois.

I talked with my cousins girlfriend alot.. Found out she wasn't able to get into that science class she was going to take, so I'm in there by myself. Then after she and my other cousins girlfriend had a few drinks in them, we started talking about school/housing for next year. I'm to get an apartment downtown for them to come pass out at.
"Who are these people?"
"Oh, that's my cousin and his chick..just walk over them, they'll leave when they wake up."

I ended up with a book called "Wierd Wisconsin' and has all these wierd facts about it, haunted places, roadside stops, attractions, myths.. Midgets living in cornfields. I knew there was a reason I panicked when I'm in a cornfield. It's really interesting!

In the gift exchange, a box of Harry Potter jelly bellies came with the book. Now, I'm a fan of jelly bellies. But apparently these were from the movie Harry Potter, with flavors like 'rotten egg', 'vomit', 'dirt', 'soap', 'earwax', and etc.. Tasted like the real thing, too. My cousins and I just sat around and each had a few, watching eachother make faces we'd never seen that person make..and then got cruel. We gave a 'rotten egg' one to my two year old um..Half cousin? My cousins' daughter, Amanda. If I ever consider having a kid, she'd be the reason. No other child is as cutre as her. And we gave her one of the worst tasting jelly bellies. It took some time to con her into it, but she stuck it in her mouth, and then spit it back out, and gave it to her uncle Matt to eat.
Matt only has two looks I'm aware of: a smile, and his military-seriousnesss, whatever it's called. I have also now seen 'completely disgusted with the taste in my mouth'.

We got home at about midnight and depression ensued, right on time. I can't remember much else.

The next day, my sister and chris came over for unwrapping presents. I'll take pictures of each item on me. This is the day I don't really look forward to anymore.

One thing I got was a (edit, sorry, bad link, hold on) You know, those hollow ones? My sister and I each got one, mine of course black, and hers blue. My grandma showed up later with my previously mentioned psycho aunt. I was sitting in a chair in the family room, my back to them, and my sister was nestled into the couch with the safety of her boyfriend. This is the grandma that always makes ignorant enough comments that I end up crying by the end of whatever visit it is, including christmas day. She must be getting older, she's lost her stuff, I didn't cry.
Anyway, my aunt walked in, and saw me wearing my scarf. She came up to me, and it was wrapped around my shoulders, and petted it. I got a, "Ooh, this is so nice! Oh, and it's soft, too! This that thing hookers wear!'. I don't think I believed I heard her say that at first, I just remember looking around the room at everyone who was seated with my mouth gaping open as she continued her examination. They all gave me the same look back.

Everyone called me a hooker/floozy for the rest of the day.

I also got into arguments with my father, one which ended up making me retreat into here and then I just tried to avoid everyone even more. Atleast I know my dyke/bitch-friends are allowed in the house now, since I can't get a guy.

I have pictures, but I won't put any up of my family, or try not to. Just incase they don't want to be recognized by strangers.
This was taken weeks ago, so it's not a Christmas picture.. But the rest are.


The black scarf that makes me a hooker. There's my mom, too.


In the safety of the room.


This fella


Sends his loving regards to the world.


Oh. We aso hooked our camera up to our big screen TV and watched the slideshow. No one really looked at what was still on the camera, some were still from summer. Some we saw for the first time.. Um. It ended with a view down my pants.

Let's just say I'm really glad I almost always delete the pictures I take of myself on there.. Well, there were still quite a few, but none obscene. Embarressing, yes..

I was in bed before my parents last night. Today we saw King Kong. Holy wow.. I liked it! I also just saw the preview for Hostel, it comes out on my birthday. Maybe I'll take myself to go see it. I have no plans again, I think I might spend the night in my room by myself again, sleeping again. I haven't celebrated in years, I guess why should I start again now. Each year I just feel shittier because bad stuff always happens. So, say it now because I'm considering removing my birthdate from the left for the day so no one sees..
When the hell did I get so bitter about it, eh?

I am also not doing anything for New Years, again. Unless I call Rhonda and she's got something going on and invites me, it might be another night here wit the parents, like every other year. There are two things going on at the Rave, but they end three hours after the buses stop running, assuming I'd be back at school by then. But I can't decide between the two anyway, of course. Brendon and I have been arguing because he wanted to drive up from Texas to see me for the night and I guess I was being too vague everytime I kept saying 'no' so it turned into this thing, and he started to make it sound like I don't think I'm worth it or some shit.
That's a whole weight that's on my shoulders and it gets heavier with each argument which is so often. Maybe we need a break from the friendship. I honestly don't think he's handling it quite well. It's wearing me down.

I seem to have fucked up most of my friendships with males in the past few months, I'd like to just disassociate myself with both men and women since I'm just terrible with each.

On a happier note, this is what's been on my lap as I wrote this.