So this little lady..... I'm going to Nola Wednesday to see her. She's been on hold almost two weeks. I'm very nervous. She's nine. I need to like her. I'm very very particular. My baby was very special. I never loved like I loved her. I want to love this one. Her poor very old person had to give her up after nine years. I'd have my heart ripped out if it was me. I mean.... I already have. I'm worried it's too soon, but there's something about the way her ad showed up specifically on my fb page last week. My heart stopped when I saw her. I could have sworn it was tink.
FFS, look.....
She was matted, they apparently shaved her. I saw another kitten, but I don't have 1500$ for her. She was very sweet, and beautiful. But I kept thinking about this lady. So we're driving four hours to see her.
My heart aches so much guys. I'm sorry I keep talking about it. I just have lost many many many people, and a couple pets, but nothing touches the all out relentless pain I'm experiencing right now. Nothing. I've miscarried, and that was horrible. But this still hurts more. 16.5 years of pure love and loyalty. My best friend. Sometimes, my only friend. My world. I'd go in debt all over again just to squeeze every minuite I had with her. I'd do it all again.
My routine is a mess, as an autistic person that's also devastating. So I'm in search of another to love, and hopefully will love me back. Animals are so pure. I can just imagine her pain being torn from her person after half her life. Hopefully it works out, because I will give her the best life ๐
I can't afford tink a memorial right now, so I added her a little place in my Halloween display so anyone who stops can say hello every year to our little love. It's going to be 900$ for her preservation, and who knows how much for a marker for the garden.
BUT this will do for now. It makes me cry enough. ๐
I swear I'm not an abnormal amount of crazy. Just, when I love something, I love it very very very deeply. She was the perfect snuggly, playful, sweet, soft, purry, needy little love. And I miss her so very much. She never got on counters, scratched the furniture, stole food, broke shit, peed or pooped in my house, ate my plants, etc.
Voodoo on the other hand... He does all these things. He's very independent, doesn't cuddle or purr much unless he feels like it. He's a sweet boy, but definitely his own independent little asshole of a cat. I love him. But we have zero attachments. He's definitely his daddy's boy anyway. He slept with me two whole nights the first two days tink was gone. Which was shocking. But he's definitely over that ๐. He's broken three things this week, clawed the couch, left me a few turds on the rug, puked in the hallway, chewed up a bunch of my shop stuff(plastic), and has bit and clawed my ankles more times than I can count. This cat ๐
I think he misses her too...
๐
Again....Thank you guys for putting up with me, and checking on me. No, I'm not ok right now. I won't be for a while. And that's ok๐ I'll get there eventually...
Or, tips here are good.... Or...
๐พ