My evening last night went as follows...
Nic returned home from work around the ten o'clock hour and asked my opinion towards food. After pouring himself a glass of Mountain Dew which he placed on the coffee table, we decided on nachos and as such defrosted some ground turkey. Now said glass of Mountain Dew and its location normally would not be so important, however this particular glass of Mountain Dew struck the fancy of Gary my curiosity stricken feline, and it ended up spilled all over him and the rug. After picking Gary up and blotting the liquid out of the rug and asked Nic if the cats had any water, as they typically do not stick their nose in beverages unless they are extremely parched. Nic grabbed the tea kettle (filled with water) and headed towards the basement with me and Gary in tow.
The rest of the cats had already guessed as to the forth coming water and were already surrounding their dished by the time we arrived. Nic bent over and began filling the bowls and as he did so I noticed something funny looking laying on the rug by the washer and dryer. It was as if someone had picked up a plum and dropped it from a high altitude, flipping it mushy side up after its initial 'splat'. However, I only saw this object through the gap in between Nic's legs as he was pouring the cats water. As such, with Gary still in my arms I asked Nic what was laying on the floor. Not even picking up his head to inspect, he replied "A sock." As he stood up I peaked my head around his waist and replied, "No actually it's a bat."
Nic did a very visible double take and jumped back about six inches as if the corpse of said bat would attack his ankles any moment.
After placing the bat and his entrails into a ziplock baggie, we proceeded to look around the crime scene that was the basement. Blood spatters and droplets painted the floor of the Man Room along with a very smugged and cat hair filled blob of blood, clearly where our friend met his untimely end. While I scrubbed up the blood and Nic examined kitty paws and teeth, we tried to determine whom our of the four suspects dunnit and when.
<b>Suspect #1:</b> Charlie. Portly tan and dark brown tabby cat who lays down when he thinks he's in trouble. Twitches occasionally. Best known for spotting squirrels and chasing his tail. Spent the majority of the evening curled up on the bed, but MIA during a good chunk of late afternoon. Great at coordinating attacks, terrible at execution. Odds: 100 to 1
<b>Suspect # 2:</b> Gary. Grey and brown stripped tabby with a pension for getting into more than he can handle. Has a playful disposition and takes over any new ball or toy on the floor with in seconds, however, too clumsy to take down an animal mid flight despite the fact that he can touch the top of the door frame when he jumps underneath it. Spent the majority of the evening and afternoon upstairs in the confines of his mothers lap. Odds: 50 to 1
<b>Suspect #3:</b> Elsie. Stereotypical black cat with a pot belly that sways when she runs. Starting to show some grey hairs just like her dad. Stresses out very easily and hates playing with other cats. Fast runner and spends her time in the basement when not in her mom's lap or on her feet. Spent evening and afternoon on mom's feet until her dad came home, then MIA. Has killed previously. Odds: 25 to 1.
<b>Suspect #4:</b>Drew. Small and skinny black cat that has one patch of white chest hair one another white "pleasure patch" towards her girly bits. Known for her loud meow and cuddly qualities. Very scrappy in fights. Likes to hang out in the basement rafters. Was MIA from 4pm on. Odds: 5 to 1
While for the most part we know who did the killing, that still did not solve the mystery of "How'd the bat get in in the first place?" After inspecting all nooks and crannies in the basement, the only location of entry we could find was the vent for the chimney that dumps out in the basement. We went back upstairs, finished the nachos and monitored the cats behaviour while we determined whether or not we should call the Health Department in the morning. After waking up to none of the cats foaming at the mouth, acting surly or lethargic, we decided that was a step we did not need to take. However, if I wake up tomorrow as a zombie, you all now know what did it.
Nic returned home from work around the ten o'clock hour and asked my opinion towards food. After pouring himself a glass of Mountain Dew which he placed on the coffee table, we decided on nachos and as such defrosted some ground turkey. Now said glass of Mountain Dew and its location normally would not be so important, however this particular glass of Mountain Dew struck the fancy of Gary my curiosity stricken feline, and it ended up spilled all over him and the rug. After picking Gary up and blotting the liquid out of the rug and asked Nic if the cats had any water, as they typically do not stick their nose in beverages unless they are extremely parched. Nic grabbed the tea kettle (filled with water) and headed towards the basement with me and Gary in tow.
The rest of the cats had already guessed as to the forth coming water and were already surrounding their dished by the time we arrived. Nic bent over and began filling the bowls and as he did so I noticed something funny looking laying on the rug by the washer and dryer. It was as if someone had picked up a plum and dropped it from a high altitude, flipping it mushy side up after its initial 'splat'. However, I only saw this object through the gap in between Nic's legs as he was pouring the cats water. As such, with Gary still in my arms I asked Nic what was laying on the floor. Not even picking up his head to inspect, he replied "A sock." As he stood up I peaked my head around his waist and replied, "No actually it's a bat."
Nic did a very visible double take and jumped back about six inches as if the corpse of said bat would attack his ankles any moment.
After placing the bat and his entrails into a ziplock baggie, we proceeded to look around the crime scene that was the basement. Blood spatters and droplets painted the floor of the Man Room along with a very smugged and cat hair filled blob of blood, clearly where our friend met his untimely end. While I scrubbed up the blood and Nic examined kitty paws and teeth, we tried to determine whom our of the four suspects dunnit and when.
<b>Suspect #1:</b> Charlie. Portly tan and dark brown tabby cat who lays down when he thinks he's in trouble. Twitches occasionally. Best known for spotting squirrels and chasing his tail. Spent the majority of the evening curled up on the bed, but MIA during a good chunk of late afternoon. Great at coordinating attacks, terrible at execution. Odds: 100 to 1
<b>Suspect # 2:</b> Gary. Grey and brown stripped tabby with a pension for getting into more than he can handle. Has a playful disposition and takes over any new ball or toy on the floor with in seconds, however, too clumsy to take down an animal mid flight despite the fact that he can touch the top of the door frame when he jumps underneath it. Spent the majority of the evening and afternoon upstairs in the confines of his mothers lap. Odds: 50 to 1
<b>Suspect #3:</b> Elsie. Stereotypical black cat with a pot belly that sways when she runs. Starting to show some grey hairs just like her dad. Stresses out very easily and hates playing with other cats. Fast runner and spends her time in the basement when not in her mom's lap or on her feet. Spent evening and afternoon on mom's feet until her dad came home, then MIA. Has killed previously. Odds: 25 to 1.
<b>Suspect #4:</b>Drew. Small and skinny black cat that has one patch of white chest hair one another white "pleasure patch" towards her girly bits. Known for her loud meow and cuddly qualities. Very scrappy in fights. Likes to hang out in the basement rafters. Was MIA from 4pm on. Odds: 5 to 1
While for the most part we know who did the killing, that still did not solve the mystery of "How'd the bat get in in the first place?" After inspecting all nooks and crannies in the basement, the only location of entry we could find was the vent for the chimney that dumps out in the basement. We went back upstairs, finished the nachos and monitored the cats behaviour while we determined whether or not we should call the Health Department in the morning. After waking up to none of the cats foaming at the mouth, acting surly or lethargic, we decided that was a step we did not need to take. However, if I wake up tomorrow as a zombie, you all now know what did it.
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I've had terrible shopping luck. Every thing I want, I can't find. Both Targets ran out of mint chocolate m&m's too!
We need to get together for breakfast again!