So i've just gotten home after yet another gig....free food, free alcohol yet again....and as teardrops hit the keys...i feel empty..........
I had a text from my boy tonight....just to let me know how, like in the sliding doors movie we would be together....but alas, he at this time has a girlfriend.....of almost 2 years & despite the fact he's attracted to me & slept with me 3 times now....he won't be leaving his girl....
Why is it i choose only guys i cannot have....why do i seem to enjoy being only self destructive....when things are going well it seems strange and i go out of my way to fuck things up! this time though i thought things were different...he never said he had a girl and for a fleetin moment i thought...holy shit...he likes me back...but as usual there is something wrong....
I think i feel worse now knowing if he didn't have a girl, he just might be with me! But now knowing he has cheated on his girl i know i should think myself lucky to not be with him...once a cheater always a cheater....i just don't know how many tears i have left....i don't know how much more my heart can take......this unbearable weight needs to be lifted.....
someday it will pass.....i will be content...all be it...alone....
...........................
They say there is a male for every female
They tell me not to look so hard
I sit and wait, not looking
but still not finding
if every Juliet has a romeo
Would my romeo please stand up?
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but then they don't help you find them, they just leave ya hangin' the bastards.