1 the 7seconds concert was EXTREMELY FUCKING RAD. please go see them if ever you have a chance.
2. in a couple days i will be going to puerto rico for a long weekend with my boyfriend. ladies and gentlemen, sometimes it is hard for me to really realize i have a boyfriend. but lately it is harder to realize that i am having a...
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2. in a couple days i will be going to puerto rico for a long weekend with my boyfriend. ladies and gentlemen, sometimes it is hard for me to really realize i have a boyfriend. but lately it is harder to realize that i am having a...
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in a matter of hours i am going to a 7seconds show. i am wearing my black tshirt with the red letters i ironed on to spell "twice shy" and i am feeling really lucky to be going and really impressed that this band is still around, still doing what they started doing 25 years ago. i am feeling INSPIRED and cool...literally cool and spacious...
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I realize and feel guilty about the fact that it is pretty unfair to write a blog entry about feeling depressed that may cause concern among readers and then fail to follow up on it for two months. The whole blog deal is much different than I anticipated because my tendency, when I write in journal format, is to vent, and I'm not used to...
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skia:
ping! I still read you.
I've just finished my taxes and I've discovered that I now officially make less than the average american. Suffice it to say, the average person makes an AGI of $35,000. Ouch. Does my job really make me THAT happy? If I weren't single, would that be different? Would I have to make more? Less? ARGH!
Still, I have to admit the idea of you bar-tending is quite fetching. You'll have to let me know where so you can buy me that drink you owe me (on the cheep if you're behind the bar!)
I've just finished my taxes and I've discovered that I now officially make less than the average american. Suffice it to say, the average person makes an AGI of $35,000. Ouch. Does my job really make me THAT happy? If I weren't single, would that be different? Would I have to make more? Less? ARGH!
Still, I have to admit the idea of you bar-tending is quite fetching. You'll have to let me know where so you can buy me that drink you owe me (on the cheep if you're behind the bar!)
i am getting really tired of feeling shitty, and i haven't even been feeling shitty for that long which goes to prove that my tolerance is down. unlike low alcohol tolerance, which i have been known to bemoan, this is most likely a good thing since it means i don't spend that much time feeling shitty anymore. but man, when it hits, it hits.
and...
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and...
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skia:
I've always found the best cure for the mouse of hormonal solitude is a cat of artful accomplishment. But it's noon-ish and your milage may vary.
dkixk:
Yikes! I don't like the sound of a guilt implosion. I promise, no more onerous spices. You might have just double guilted me into actually leaving a message in song form, though. I really only know the words to one song, though, and the lyrics wouldn't really make sense for a voice mail.
Anyway, R&I have just successfully navigated an entire evening without catching more than a fleeting glimpse of football. We hid out at the Bravo channel where they were playing a Queer Eye For The Straight Guy marathon. It worked like a charm with the exception of one episode in which the straight guy proposed to his girlfriend at a Jets game.
March is almost upon us. For some reason, this make me think "I like New York in spring. How about you?" This has to be lyrics to a song but I can't, for the live of me, remember from what song.
Anyway, R&I have just successfully navigated an entire evening without catching more than a fleeting glimpse of football. We hid out at the Bravo channel where they were playing a Queer Eye For The Straight Guy marathon. It worked like a charm with the exception of one episode in which the straight guy proposed to his girlfriend at a Jets game.
March is almost upon us. For some reason, this make me think "I like New York in spring. How about you?" This has to be lyrics to a song but I can't, for the live of me, remember from what song.
duuuuuude! my bff is hi-larious. (please see comment on last posting) seriously! also, she is the softest girl in the world. i am currently right in between timi and bb right now as to the dye job decision, i.e. i have asked my mumsy for the money. this is acceptable as she was eager to buy me a new haircut at a very expensive salon...
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dkixk:
Okay, just because I haven't been on SG for a while is no reason to not return my phone calls.
raise your hand if you think i should let my boyfriend pay for a new dye job so i can keep having red hair or if i should suck it up and go back to my natural color because i just bought a class from the new school and am strapped for cash.
please don't tell me to dye it myself, i am far too...
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please don't tell me to dye it myself, i am far too...
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bbgunn:
it's the oldest story in the book. boy meets girl. boy is roommates with girl's bff. boy and girl fall in love. boy pays for girl's dye job. bff assures girl she's the softest girl in the world.
ride the wave, baby.
ride the wave, baby.
skia:
Here's the thing. Guys like providing things for the girls they're sweet on. We really don't fixate so much on what the thing is or how long it's been since the last time we were able to do something for our special lady. It gets short-circuited in our brain:
"Hmm. She likes that."
ZAP!
"Maybe I can get it for her?"
In our empowered and (arguably) enlightened age, most of us understand that we can't provide bacon, movie fare, the whole cost of dinner, an arm while walking, a shoulder to cry one, or -- heaven forfend! -- a strong arm with which to unstick the lids of pickle jars. But for pity's sake we can enable you to color your hair, can't we!? Right? Providing, of course, that we offer in such a ways that makes it clear that we'd only be happy with it if you'd be happy with it because you're-perfect-just-the-way-you-are? Can't we agree on that?
It's rare that we men are aware enough that we pick up on something that would be a nice gift for our significant others. It's even more rare if that thing isn't considered a chauvinistic grey-area in City Culture. Ride the wave indeed!
"Hmm. She likes that."
ZAP!
"Maybe I can get it for her?"
In our empowered and (arguably) enlightened age, most of us understand that we can't provide bacon, movie fare, the whole cost of dinner, an arm while walking, a shoulder to cry one, or -- heaven forfend! -- a strong arm with which to unstick the lids of pickle jars. But for pity's sake we can enable you to color your hair, can't we!? Right? Providing, of course, that we offer in such a ways that makes it clear that we'd only be happy with it if you'd be happy with it because you're-perfect-just-the-way-you-are? Can't we agree on that?
It's rare that we men are aware enough that we pick up on something that would be a nice gift for our significant others. It's even more rare if that thing isn't considered a chauvinistic grey-area in City Culture. Ride the wave indeed!
my new year's wish: for sex to be as restful as sleeping and alcohol as healthy as wheatgrass.
also, i'd like a bff. oh look! i have one! someone must be looking out for me after all. hey someone! can we work on the sex/booze situation too?
also, i'd like to be in the same place as all my friends and a lot of boxed...
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also, i'd like a bff. oh look! i have one! someone must be looking out for me after all. hey someone! can we work on the sex/booze situation too?
also, i'd like to be in the same place as all my friends and a lot of boxed...
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must remember that "vacations" at family homestead are neither stress-free or restful. must remember that visiting parents at home means being smacked in face with bad habits i am *constantly* trying to shed. that coming back here means coming face to face with a bunch of people too much like me...who are stressed and overtired and still trying to do everything for everyone else. i...
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moppet:
*and* i'm trying to cut back on my sugar intake..for good reason, trust us. nonetheless, the parentals do tend to shove sweets in my face. case in point.
it's just that...every time i come back i feel like i don't belong anymore. and it's alright for the most part because i belong somewhere else. but how do you reconcile spending christmas where you don't belong instead of where you do? and how do i remember that i still belong here, that i come from this? how do i just relax and think about the good stuff surrounding me instead of the argentinian food i'm missing out on. why can't i stop whining about it?
thank god for my sister. she's priceless and beautiful in every way.
it's just that...every time i come back i feel like i don't belong anymore. and it's alright for the most part because i belong somewhere else. but how do you reconcile spending christmas where you don't belong instead of where you do? and how do i remember that i still belong here, that i come from this? how do i just relax and think about the good stuff surrounding me instead of the argentinian food i'm missing out on. why can't i stop whining about it?
thank god for my sister. she's priceless and beautiful in every way.
skia:
I can relate, I think. Sometimes knowing where one belongs can make one uncomfortable or even scared if "where I belong" is not equal to "family".
Family is nice because everyone in it is stuck with everyone else in it forever and ever. There's no breaking up, there's no divorce, there's no forced separation brought about by fights or grudges. I routinely spend time with people in my family that, were we friends, I would have written off a long time ago. Family is never having to worry about being alone.
The corollary to this is: "everything that is not family means always having to worry about being alone." If where you belong is with friends or lovers, you have to accept the possibility that, at some point, you may not be able to keep these friends or you may separate with your lovers. Belonging someplace outside of family means that you belong someplace rare and fragile. It's very hard (for me, anyway) to admit that happiness can be so fleeting without worrying, stressing, over-analizing, and scheming ways to keep it together.
Here's a little advice, though. Try to keep an even keel about it and trust that, in the fullness of time, the years are going to stack up naturally where you're supposed to be. I expect that you'll find, without being too active about it, that you will naturally gravitate to where your heart wants to be. And after you've been there a while, it will probably start to feel enough like family that you won't fear for it anymore. The alternative is over-thinking, sabotaging, and ultimately spending christmas alone and realizing there's no place else you'd rather be.
Family is nice because everyone in it is stuck with everyone else in it forever and ever. There's no breaking up, there's no divorce, there's no forced separation brought about by fights or grudges. I routinely spend time with people in my family that, were we friends, I would have written off a long time ago. Family is never having to worry about being alone.
The corollary to this is: "everything that is not family means always having to worry about being alone." If where you belong is with friends or lovers, you have to accept the possibility that, at some point, you may not be able to keep these friends or you may separate with your lovers. Belonging someplace outside of family means that you belong someplace rare and fragile. It's very hard (for me, anyway) to admit that happiness can be so fleeting without worrying, stressing, over-analizing, and scheming ways to keep it together.
Here's a little advice, though. Try to keep an even keel about it and trust that, in the fullness of time, the years are going to stack up naturally where you're supposed to be. I expect that you'll find, without being too active about it, that you will naturally gravitate to where your heart wants to be. And after you've been there a while, it will probably start to feel enough like family that you won't fear for it anymore. The alternative is over-thinking, sabotaging, and ultimately spending christmas alone and realizing there's no place else you'd rather be.
sometimes when i am feeling insecure i like to stay up late, thinking if i do this i'll fix it, if i blog if i write this letter if i finish this or do the dishes or something productive or read a happy book.
when i should really just go to bed. some days end like this and it's okay, i guess. why not? i'm...
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when i should really just go to bed. some days end like this and it's okay, i guess. why not? i'm...
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bbgunn:
last night i wandered williamsburg alone, and sat with a vodka cranberry alone awash in accordian and violin and subdued yet infectiously adorable vocal soulfulness, and wait, oh, look, there you were. always with me because there you always are.
if only you could have seen my hot ass in the knockout purple dress i was wearing...
if only you could have seen my hot ass in the knockout purple dress i was wearing...
i am sitting at home updating my blog instead of fucking my boyfriend good and proper on his birthday. who invented this ear infection shit anyway? who decided that sleep was so fucking necessary? somebody give me some names so i can kick some ass.
skia:
How scrupulous are you going to be with this whole names thing? I'm more than willing to take advantage of a lack of oversight to cross a few playground bullies off my list.
Tell the boy to get better for me. Really loudly. In his bad ear.
Tell the boy to get better for me. Really loudly. In his bad ear.
bbgunn:
yes, it's small consolation for the lack of hard cock, but...
click below and smile.
the buena posse
click below and smile.
the buena posse
there are two v. important entities that didn't get shoutouts in my last entry for the simple fact that i was mad tired and writing so slowly i thought sg would log me out, i would lose what i was writing, and i would never blog again. so i cut the damn thing short at the expense of the jemmons and the bot.
the electric...
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the electric...
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home. in my teal room with the bright light and the makeshift computer desk. there is no place like it. as hard as it is to leave Claire and her inhabitants on 118th street and manhattan ave, and as much as i feel right in place there, this is the room i painted myself. these are my things i spent energy procuring to surround myself...
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bbgunn:
great pix from skia! i vote you use one of them for your profile (he's better a depixelifying pretty pictures than i am)