Hello everyone!
I started my SG journey many years ago and I have also not been active on here in years but I wanted to share this final post with you all. I became an SG back in 2013. I felt such a sense of accomplishment when I turned Pink and I felt so confident with who I was at the time.
But the truth is, I was a suicidal girl in her 20's, that was so extremely lost and just wanted some validation in her life. Not to sound conceited, but I knew that I could get that from SG. And for awhile, the validation helped. It made me feel better about who I was. But I didn't truly care about me. I felt no worth or value in who I was.
February of 2016 I tried to commit suicide. After the failed attempt I worked on starting my life over and actually trying to live. Trying being the key word there. I kept myself busy working multiple jobs and drinking very heavily. I battled alcoholism and opioid addiction and in 2017 I became sober.
I met my now husband and we had our first child in 2017 as well. Ever since then my life has changed so much for the better and I have God to thank for that. I am not one to believe in coincidence. I truly think everything happens for a reason. And after becoming sober I was able to find my way back to God.
I am not writing this to brag, boast, or shove my beliefs down your throat. I still have my good days and bad days. I came to God broken and weary and he brought me everything I could ever want in life. The validation that I was searching for in Suicide Girls could not compare to what I feel daily as a wife, mother, and Daughter of the King. All of this is part of my Testimony.
SG provided me with friendships, excitement, confidence, and yes, validation and purpose. But it was all so fleeting. And I was blinded to what was really important.
If I can leave you with one final thing, that would be to pray. Pray for yourself, pray for your loved ones, pray for others, and pray for this world. We are all sinners but our debt has been paid. We are all going to fall short for the Kingdom of Heaven. But our place was paid in full by the blood of Christ.
If you have read this far, thank you! If you are feeling weary, restless, broken-hearted, or just don't know what you were put on this earth for, pray about it. Give it to God!
Thank you again for this platform. I wish all of you the best in life. Goodbye and God bless! <3
Psalm 34:18 says, "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit".
